BREAKING NEWS…
Angry over the election of Donald Trump as President of the United States, dead voters in many Democrat strongholds across the country are demanding to be dug up and re-buried in Canada.
“I can’t possibly be expected to rest here in peace after this,” said Pearl E. Gates (1919 – 1998) of Shadyview Haven, Cook County, IL. “Not with such a vulgar misogynist in the White House! Why did I even bother to vote this year? Don’t just stand there, get me a shovel and a bus ticket to Winnipeg!”
Earl E. Graves (1926 – 1962) of Eternal Slumbers, Broward County, FL, added, “I have voted Democrat in every election since the day I died and I’ll be da… uh, dog-gonned if I’m going to be interred beneath some foul-mouthed punk billionaire with with a lousy comb-over for the next 4 years! Now, somebody dig me up and haul my bones to Ottawa!”
On a related note, when asked why dead voters all seem to vote exclusively for Democrats, renowned Psychologist Dr. Ernest Lee Frank replied, “It’s quite simple, really — their brains have ceased to function.”
Deputy Sheriff Rick Grimes could not be reached for comment on the recent wave of dead people on the move.
They’re in for a rude …awakening, you can’t move to Canada if you have serious health problems, like being dead.
Lovin’ this 🙂
Undead Bacon to you
Welcome back, Mr. Right! It’s been a while.
I’m sensing a new TV series, The Walking to Canada Dead.
Apparently the Canadian consulate in Brownsville TX is being over-run with desperate applicants.
Cheers