38 Comments

  12. The good news: police will be getting crime-fighting robots. The bad news…

    they will be mostly set up to do donut runs.

    they will arrive minutes late, like the real police.

    a lot harder to get them on the take.

    Reply to this comment

  19. The good news: police will be getting crime-fighting robots. The bad news…

    Topless sun bathing statistics are going way up.

    most of the openings will be filled by illegal Mexican crime fighting robots.

    they will try to play the bag pipes for the St. Patrick’s Day Parade.

    when they go rogue they won’t be able to get drunk and lose their wife and the respect of the police hierarchy, but they will get the job done that needs doing. Their way.

    Reply to this comment

  22. The bad news…

    … the courts have come up with a bunch of Mereandroid rights.

    … one bad robot cop on the tech gives all robot cops a bad name.

    … the kernel got deactivated one day before it was going to retire.

    … nobody’s getting behind the slogan “Big Blue Lives Matter.”

    … the good-cop-bad-cop routine equates to zero, and they do nothing.

    … the criminals have gotten wise and ask all robots “You not wearing a wire?”

    Reply to this comment

  24. … the older ones will ask for “just the fax, ma’am.”

    … poor criminals will be out of excuses after “The Man” and “The non-Man” have been blamed.

    … for some reason, they think there are only three laws.

    Reply to this comment

  26. … their human supervisor has to listen to all their sarcastic witticisms (like “To Servo and Protect”) as they watch really awful crimes.

    … when they hear about two-way mirrors, they start to smoke and say “Does Not Compute,” and are thereafter useless.

    Reply to this comment

  27. … they can be disabled by both those at the Captain Kirk end of the scale and those at the Austin Powers end of the scale. Pretty wide range of vulnerability, actually.

    … when they try to destroy the galaxy, their inventor will just shrug and say “It’s not a bug, it’s a VGer.”

    Reply to this comment

  31. …is that Microsoft wrote their program.

    …is they often boot into safe mode and just stand there.

    …is there’s actually a reference to “Microsoft Bob” in their code.

    …is program bugs cause the blue face of death – with a paper tape core dump out their ass.

    Reply to this comment

  32. … the Thin Blue Line now provides little protection — just a link to Google.

    … there are more reboots on the ground than ever.

    … it’s illegal for them to have a Clippy with more than ten rounds.

    … they’re all bussed-up about your rights.

    … in all the excitement, they can’t remember if they used base six, or only base five.

    Reply to this comment

  33. … they pull you over, ask you if you were aware your taillight is broken, inform you that they were aware of the fact, and leave. Not terribly effective. And their tone is not very nice.

    … the long, drawn-out negotiations between the crime-fighting robots, your self-driving car, OnStar, and Siri, while you stand by and drain a quart of Jack Daniels.

    … they Facebook profile.

    … and constantly say “Facebook ’em, Dano.” It’s annoying.

    … as is “A night in the Pokémon, Go!” They’re pretty much all ads.

    Reply to this comment

Leave a Reply to Jimmy Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.