Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
…party.
And you have to fight for that right.
Like it’s 1999.
The road goes on forever, and the party never ends.
The cops did tell him he had the right to an eternity, and if he could not afford one, one would be provided to him.
…on the patio.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
be a Herring!
trump his partner’s ace.
marry his bicycle.
self-identify as a hippogriff.
move to San Francisco, where all three rights are recognized.
marry a horse, dance with a mailman, and plagiarize lines like those from Woody Allen movies.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
be GOD, the master of Time, Space and dimension.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
nuke the moon. Or maybe it’s moon a nuke. Oh well, whatever.
…mansplain…
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
be master of his own domain.
AND to wear a Baltimore cap when sitting in the Yankees owner’s box,
and to celebrate made-up holidays.
(Otherwise, yeah: it’s a walkout!)
…be an idiot if he wants to…
But you repeat yourself…
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
tug on Superman’s cape,
spit into the wind,
pull the mask off the Old Lone Ranger but…
not mess around with “Jim”.
…incessantly share dad jokes…
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
have small children “Pull his finger”.
… burn the flag and then wrap himself in the constitution or burn the constitution and then wrap himself in the flag.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
be never called wrong.
only observe the rights the Constitution protects for others when he feels like it.
play second base for the Cleveland [Soon to be changed] Indians.
have at least three dates with Scarlett Johansson, and get to third base at least once.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
a good Lettuce, Mutton and Tomato sandwich.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
never be disappointed.
…build a giant wooden badger
Yell “THEATRE” in a crowded Firehouse
exfoliate
…use the simple present tense (3rd person singular) form of the verb “to have” properly in the title of a SLOTD.
#grammarhammer
Doh!
Fixed now
Man…not even any bacon…sad…
…be left.
to be an American Citizen and a Dreamer.
#CitizenDreamer
…only give a Harumph if he wants to.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
have those kids get the Hell off his lawn!
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
not have Donald Trump be his President.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
be called Loretta and be pregnant.
{Sponsored by the People’s Front of Judea.} (Not the Judean People’s Front. [Splitters!])
. . . and to have the government provide a free gestational box through universal healthcare paid for by others.
… life, liberty, and the pursuit of ha’pennies.
… be secure in his FX.
… not have British soldiers drawn or quartered in his home.
… be free of illegal surgeon seizures.
… remain Soylent.
… not have his name scratched off the invitation list for Harvey’s parties.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
a good walk.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
Blah, blah, blah.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
whinge incessantly when his little feelings get all hurtsy by dose bad people doing stuff he doesn’t like and stuff.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
that last piece of the pie.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
file stupid lawsuits continually and waste a Courts time and the taxpayers money to stroke his own ego and to virtue signal all his homies back in the hood at Berkeley that he is seriously Woke M0F0!!!
… a little something for the effort.
… three steps toward the door.
… freedom of ass
(Teleprompter rolls up)
-embly.
/Ted Knight voice (or Les Nessman)
. . . force every school district in the country to require kindergarten children to role-play as yellow-scaled wingless dragonkin and expansive ornate buildings (and, of course, to force Christian bakers to bake wedding cakes celebrating the marriage of one to the other).
… run for president without proving natural-born-citizen status, and to keep Confidential, Secret, and Top Secret information on an unsecure home server. I believe there is precedent.
… own a home…. Unless the government wants to give the land to a higher taxpayer, even if nothing ever comes of the plan. The Supreme Court will provide the Keloborration. (Which is called a High Kelonic.)
Be. A. Man.
And spell it…
M
A
N.
No B
O chile
Y
… Carrie
(Underwood, that is.)
…to free speech away from any college campuses.
…the right to label someone a racist hate-monger who gives Obama the finger.
…the right to say F U to Democrats, also known as Donald Trump’s Twitter account.
In a new ACLU-backed lawsuit, a man is claiming he has a constitutional right to…
be hit by so many rights he’ll be begging for a left. – Chuck Norris.