Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama’s advice to Democrat 2020 candidates…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
President Obama’s advice to Democrat 2020 candidates…
I’m not saying it’s to cater to aliens…. but it’s to cater to aliens
is, Ladies and Gentlemen take my advice,
Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
is pretty much as worthless as anything else he’s ever said.
make sure you can unseal your opponents divorce records.
Twice.
Get one good speech and keep repeating it ad tedium.
…”Cover up out there”…
…”First is good…”
…”Control the narrative and you control your destiny”…
…”Always…err, Never…I got nutthin'”…
…”Lie, lie, lie”…
…”Let the Wookie win”…
Straight Line of the Day: President Obama’s Advice to Democrat 2020 Candidates…
Once you take power pass a bill that will be a “giant leap forward” in the treatment of the insane gambler. Remember, insane gamblers are the main cause of global warming™.
…”If you like your Democrat Socialism you can keep your Democrat Socialism” .
…And if you don’t like it you can also keep it…in fact you’ll have to keep it!
…is to make sure your teleprompter is working.
Don’t fix the mistake…. fix the blame.
…no matter how tempting it is, don’t put a bucket on your head.
Okay, maybe one time!
…was not given, since he can’t run and therefore doesn’t care.
…bring me a shrubbery…. choom shrubbery that is.
…”Don’t quit your day job.”
President Obama’s advice to Democrat 2020 candidates…
you got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em. Know when to walk away, know when to run…
…drink heavily and carry a big gender identification sign.
…snarling Rottweiler or Democrat? Study those friend/foe silhouettes.
…kissing a baby? Smile. Strangling a baby? Try not to.
…remember, no, write this down: it’s the economically stupid, stupid.
“Strangling a baby? Try not to.”
Unless you’re campaigning in New York – then it’s OK.
President Obama’s advice to Democrat 2020 candidates…
never start a land war in Asia.
President Obama’s advice to Democrat 2020 candidates…
plastics.
President Obama’s advice to Democrat 2020 candidates…
get seriously wasted.
“Listen to him, he’s pre-med.”
“I thought he was pre-law”
“What’s the difference.”
President Obama’s advice to Democrat 2020 candidates…
when the going gets tough, blame Trump.
President Obama’s advice to Democrat 2020 candidates…
never make a promise publicly you plan to keep.
…”Learn to code.”
Practice sayin’ “You want fries widdat?”
…”You need big ears to hear all your constituents.”
President Obama’s advice to Democrat 2020 candidates…
Yes, you need some advice
Well, let me put it to you nice
I said you need a friend
Someone who’ll stick with you to the end
So buy a dog.
…F it dude, let’s go bowling.
Well, isn’t that Special…
…I certainly knew how to get things done, and if you listen to me, my genius will become apparent, because my plan was flawless, and people really love me, so let me be clear, whatever you think is stupid, because my way has been proven to succeed…”
President Obama’s advice to Democrat 2020 candidates…
Don’t criticize your predecessor for what he did in Iraq and then do the exact same thing in Libya.
Prepare your concession speech.
“I just want to let you know what I found most useful during my campaign when I was facing my problem of connecting my intelligence with ordinary people who would want me…
…i…
…me…
…never bring an un-forked tongue to a debate fight.
…always pick a voting age Republican when sacrificing a virgin to the hypocrisy gods.
…black is beautiful, black shoe polish, not so much.
…identify the problem, blame white people, murder the solution, rinse, repeat.