[High Praise! to Oppo]

Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Congress
(to the tune of “Mommas Don’t Let Your Babies Grow up to Be Cowboys” by Waylon Jennings & Willie Nelson (among others))

Mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Congress!
Don’t let ’em pick fights with Gibson, and ban them old trucks
Don’t let ’em be Fake News, spin doctors, lawyers and such:
Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be Congress
Their plans never work and they’re always such jerks
Even with someone they love.

Congress ain’t easy to love and they’re harder to hold
They’d rather give you a song-and-dance for diamonds or gold
If the Rust Belt buckles like their own faded levees
Each sacrificed right begets a new (D).
If you don’t understand them, and God forbid don’t die young
They’ll probably take that right away, you see.

Mommas, don’t let your babies grow up to be Congress
Don’t let ’em pick fights over guitars and ban them old trucks
Be Fake News, spin doctors, and lawyers and such:
Mama, don’t let your babies grow up to be Congress
Their plans never work and they’re always such jerks
Schemin’ for the power they love.

Congress likes smoky old back rooms and cleared calendar mornings
Little warm puppies and children (by day) and girls of the night.
Them that don’t know them won’t like them, and them that do
Sometimes won’t know how to restrain them
They ain’t “wrong,” just “mistaken,” but Gay Pride won’t let them
Do things to make you think that there’re rights.