[Submitted by Ace Reporter Oppo (High Praise!)]
“Lori Loughlin Found Very Pretty By Grand Jury”
“Comey: No Single Prosecutor Would Indict That”
“Biden: Let Her Go”
“Chicago DA: Charges Should Be Dropped, ‘Juss Cuz'”
“Biden: Let Her Go”
“Angry Groups Rallying at Courthouse, Awaiting Printed Signs To Clarify Positions”
“Biden: Let Her Go”
“Loughlin Considering Running For Presidency. Already Guaranteed Admission to DNC Debates”
“Needs Comfort and Support From An Ex-Vice-President; Needs To Stay On Massage,” Says Source Overly Familiar With Women In Politics”
“REUTERS (AP) – Embattled questionably-legitimate President Donald Trump has ‘badly mishandled the Loughlin situation due to his well-known misogyny,’ said an unnamed source familiar with the word misogyny. Sources close to the reporter cited Trump’s reputation for distancing himself from attractive women.”
A Loughlin Rhapsody is in order.
Oh, what a looker let her go!
“BU’s scull club has a paddle set aside for me . . . for me . . . for me!”
[or:]
“But Yale’s Skull club has a paddle set aside for me . . . for me . . . for me!”
I’m just a cute girl, everybody loves me.
She’s just a cute girl from a rich family,
Spare her her life from this monstrosity.
Howie Carr says she is definitely “Not Guilty”.