Sept. 30, 2019 (IMAO) – This story was broken by Ace Reporters Stretch, caleygraph2015, and DamnCat, who are awaiting their Pulitzer.

A House committee has been convened in emergency session, reportedly drafting impeachment articles against President Donald J. Trump.

At issue is a “deep” and “disturbing” connection between him and seriously illegal activities spanning many years, says a source close to the Democrats*.

Noting that multiple press reports have documented an extensive list of violent crimes committed by teens and youths — and that Trump himself was once a teen and youth — the Democratic leadership has stridently called on Trump to either disavow his connection with this group or else explain it.

Nancy Pelosi and Bernie Sanders pointedly noted that they were never associated with either of these groups, as far as can be proven. Former vice president Joe Biden was unavailable for coherent comment.

*Really, really close.