Straight Line of the Day: Conservative Pick-Up Lines: Posted by Oppo on 26 November 2019, 12:00 pm Straight Line of the Day: Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
Conservative Pick-Up Lines: I know how to say “tax cuts” in several different languages, which one do you want me to tell you tomorrow morning? Reply to this comment
Conservative Pick-Up Lines: I’m not saying I’m an illegal Alien but…actually I’m not an illegal Alien. Reply to this comment
Conservative Pick-Up Lines: If I told you that you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? Reply to this comment
Conservative Pick-Up Lines: I’m not a liberal so you’ll always be safe with me. Reply to this comment
Conservative Pick-Up Lines: Baby what’s your sign? (Shows me her sign…it says “Make America Great Again”) Reply to this comment
… “Just call me Mr. Green, ’cause I’ve got a lead pipe for your Body.” Oh wait, that’s a conservatory pick-up line. Never mind. Reply to this comment
“I’d love to take you to the range! Dinner afterwards? (name of small town) has a lovely Bob Evans!” And: “Of course, I’ll respect you in the morning! Why, in fact, I respect you already!” Reply to this comment
…”Would you care join me for a nice evening of punching hippies at the Antifa rally tonight?” Reply to this comment
Baby you’re built like a brick tax reduction bill.
Brace yourself!
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
Excuse me, can I buy you a drink?
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
Male, assigned at birth. You?
“I was thinking about the Laffer Curve until I saw yours.”
Belated Harvey Award!
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
Honey, your finer than a new set of snow tires.
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
How would like to be my future ex-wife?
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
To thee I will plight my troth.
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
I know how to say “tax cuts” in several different languages, which one do you want me to tell you tomorrow morning?
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
I’m not saying I’m an illegal Alien but…actually I’m not an illegal Alien.
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
If I told you that you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
A hard man is good to find.
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
I’m not a liberal so you’ll always be safe with me.
“Baby, you got the supply. I’ve got the demand.”
“I’m opposed to open borders – how about giving me a tourist visa?”
Conservative Pick-Up Lines:
Baby what’s your sign? (Shows me her sign…it says “Make America Great Again”)
… “Wanna check out my portfolio?”…
.. “Do you have any Grey Poupon?”…
… “Oh, my hand? Yeah – I nicked it up punching hippies”…
…” I’ve dedicated my life to immanentizing the eschaton”…
… “Just call me Mr. Green, ’cause I’ve got a lead pipe for your Body.”
Oh wait, that’s a conservatory pick-up line. Never mind.
Wanna come up and see my etchings….and my copies of Guns and Ammo?
You take my breath away. Luckily, I don’t have Obamacare, so it’s okay.
How about we go to the landfill and shoot rats.
I’m packing a pistol AND a gun! IYKWIMAITYD
“Ever heard Rush Limbaugh talk about his cat? That’s me.”
You’d do it for Randolph Scott!
That’s more like it.
“Wanna go to church with me this Sunday night?”
“Wanna go to the movies?”
Have you ever done it in a pickup truck?
“I’d love to take you to the range! Dinner afterwards? (name of small town) has a lovely Bob Evans!”
And: “Of course, I’ll respect you in the morning! Why, in fact, I respect you already!”
I’m really not this tall. I am sitting on my wallet.
You want to join me ’till Morning in America?
Yes I’m happy to see you and yes, that’s a gun in my pocket.
“Hey, baby”, but in a Calvin Coolidge voice.
Too many words.
…”Would you care join me for a nice evening of punching hippies at the Antifa rally tonight?”