Trump:

You’re varmints. You’re one of the lowest members of the food chain and you’ll probably be replaced by the rat. Well, I have been pushed. It’s about time somebody teaches these varmints a little lesson about morality and about what it’s like to be a decent, upstanding member of a society! Come to court, varmints.

{Watches news:}

I guess we’re playing for keeps now. I guess the kidding around is pretty much over. I guess it’s just a matter of pumping about five thousand gallons of cold water on your plans to teach you a little bit of a lesson. Is that it? I think it is!!

…

I have to laugh. Because I’ve often asked myself: Who is my foe, my enemy? Antifa. In order to conquer him I have to think like an animal, and, whenever possible, to look like one. I’ve got to get inside this dude’s pelt and crawl around for a few days. Who is the loafer’s ally? His friend? The media squirrel and Congressional rabbit. I’m going to use you guys to do my dirty work for me!

Au revoir, law-fare!

To Relatives Back in Kraplanistan:

Things going wonderfully here in America! But there is an election being elected.

Strange old loud determined man is president until determination.

Very corrupt, strange old gropey white-haired man who speaks bad English may win. Nobody likes him. Nobody understands him. Nobody can say they voted for him; nobody expects him to remain. Shapely strident woman no one likes would then take over for him. She has, as we say in our country, mouth.

No one would believe in her or whatnot. She kept black men in jail knowing they are innocent, to boost her career.

She has, as we say in our country, career boosts. You know what I mean.

You think I joke, but that is how things are in America. How are things in superior Kraplanistan?

Oh, by the way, they cannot here even control who votes … whether citizen; where ballots mailed in come from … at 3:00 a.m., after voting has closed … whether ballots run through machine multiple times or not, no … what programs that controlled computers doing counting on software can’t even be checked. Can you imagine?!! We know how many goats are in our district in the spring better than they know how many votes are in their district in the fall — and we know instantly. In some places they are still counting two weeks later. Nprovya!