Here’s what a Hootenanny would’ve looked like in the good old days:

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I sure miss the good old days.

Ladies were ladies, and you could tell that just by looking at them.

Gentlemen were gentlemen! They never tweeted someone else while on a date. (If they did tweet, they certainly kept it successfully to themselves until Twitter was invented.)

Definitions, back then, were tautologies.

Black and white photos could coexist.

Sure, there was some music — and wars — you wouldn’t enjoy today, but you could say that about yesterday, and tomorrow, too. Well, I m not sure — you might get banned from Twitter for hate speech. (They left out the “We” in that, by the way.)

But the point is, while dancing with your darling to the Tennessee Waltz, you could at least be sure that she was genuine, pure, and good. Like a dream. Until we all woke.