That one where they used a machine gun that shoots chainsaws and a laser rocket launcher and bombs that explode into tigers made of fire and the bad guys have an army of flying robot luchadors that can only be stopped by even flyinger robot luchadors but then the Earth turns out to be infested by a giant magic alien parasite so they have to team up to keep it from making a black hole and everything was part of an evil conspiracy by Western Union and just when everything looks hopeless the hero reveals that he’s not left-handed.
A remake of “The Wizard of Oz”, only with a transsexual twist…”Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?” … “That, my dear, is a ‘horse of a different gender.’”…”If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own surgery center. Because if it isn’t there, I never really wanted it to begin with! Is that right?”… “You’ve always had the gender my dear, you just had to impose it upon everyone else yourself.”
The Lesbian Witch of the North to Dorothy:
“Oh my sweet dear if only you were my wife 💞 I would lick…uh, give you some of my magical sweet cherry licorice.”
Teenagers on camping trip decide not to desecrate the makeshift shrine they find on the woods, and don’t split up to investigate weird noises at night. They all live to see the sunrise.
Mission Impissible 13:
Eighty-eight year old Ethan Hunt is on his last mission, finally, but is caught and buried alive, with a weak bladder and no where to”go” without soiling himself.
He gets out all by himself and completely dry! Ok, he was wearing Depends but how did he get out all by himself?
Sorry….no spoiler alerts here. Who you think I am, Sickle & Ebert?
“Of all the bath houses in San Francisco, he walks into mine. “
That one where they used a machine gun that shoots chainsaws and a laser rocket launcher and bombs that explode into tigers made of fire and the bad guys have an army of flying robot luchadors that can only be stopped by even flyinger robot luchadors but then the Earth turns out to be infested by a giant magic alien parasite so they have to team up to keep it from making a black hole and everything was part of an evil conspiracy by Western Union and just when everything looks hopeless the hero reveals that he’s not left-handed.
The giant magic alien parasite could have easily defeated the Starship Troopers bugs it looks like…but that’s why they play the game.
Carl Jenkins, the psychic in Starship Troopers after first seeing all the alien “bugs”:
“I think we’re going to need a larger can of Raid.” 🪲
“I fight for Truth, Justice, and the American Way!”
A remake of “The Wizard of Oz”, only with a transsexual twist…”Well, how would you like to have someone come along and pick something off of you?” … “That, my dear, is a ‘horse of a different gender.’”…”If I ever go looking for my heart’s desire again, I won’t look any further than my own surgery center. Because if it isn’t there, I never really wanted it to begin with! Is that right?”… “You’ve always had the gender my dear, you just had to impose it upon everyone else yourself.”
The Lesbian Witch of the North to Dorothy:
“Oh my sweet dear if only you were my wife 💞 I would lick…uh, give you some of my magical sweet cherry licorice.”
“I don’t mind the swelling”
-Lizzo, Air Bud: Hookers And Blow
Top Ten Movie Lines we’re just not expecting:
10. “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a boner.”
9. “You can’t handle the Vermouth!”
8. “Look! Up in the sky. It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s PIGS IN SPACE!”
7. “No, ma’am. We at the FBI do not have penises that we’re aware of.”
6. “To infinity and then circle back again, okay Buzz?”
5. “Get your jaws off me, you damned, dirty skate!”
4. “Your mother was a hustler, and your father smelt of old fairies!”
3. “Somewhere, over the rainbow, the flies are blue.”
2. “He’s worse than dead! His taxes are unpaid!”
And the number one movie line we weren’t expecting…
1. “We’re not just going to shoot the bastards. We’re going to cut out their living guts and use them to grease the treads of our tanks!
Teenagers on camping trip decide not to desecrate the makeshift shrine they find on the woods, and don’t split up to investigate weird noises at night. They all live to see the sunrise.
President of the United States: “I can’t make any decision until I hear from Zurich.”
Mission Impissible 13:
Eighty-eight year old Ethan Hunt is on his last mission, finally, but is caught and buried alive, with a weak bladder and no where to”go” without soiling himself.
He gets out all by himself and completely dry! Ok, he was wearing Depends but how did he get out all by himself?
Sorry….no spoiler alerts here. Who you think I am, Sickle & Ebert?
Luke, I am now your Mother
Luke: “You would still be my father if you hadn’t been playing with your lightsaber and accidentally cut off your privates.”
That’s NUTS!
Chopped nuts
The Prince Bride
“Hello, my name inigo Montoya. You killed my cis-parent. Now prepare to die.”
“Conception contributor”.
Once again Tonto triumphs against law breaking bandits with the help of his faithfull white companion the Lone Ranger.