Crime of the Century; The Century of Crime

San Jose tattoo artist fighting deportation arrested on criminal charges in Berkeley
NBC Bay Area | July 29, 2025

A San Jose tattoo artist who is facing ICE deportation …

Q: What Did The Tattoo Artist Do During the Biden Administration?

A: Deplane! Deplane!

… was arrested and is now being held for mental evaluation after authorities say he attempted three carjackings along a commercial stretch of Berkeley on Sunday.

Guillermo Media Reyes, 31, has ... served prison time for attempted murder.

At 5 a.m. Saturday, police say Reyes called 911 to report a woman screaming in a vacant house on Prince Street in Berkeley, next door to where Reyes has been staying. Police arrived and found a broken window in the back and Reyes suffering from cuts to his hand.

— and here’s my very favorite part of the story:

Officers left,

🙂

… but four hours later, a big-rig driver alerted authorities that he was approached by a shirtless man, later identified by authorities as Reyes, who allegedly stole his cell phone and tried to take his truck, which was hauling several vehicles on San Pablo Avenue. However, the truck quickly stalled, and Reyes ran off. Police say the trucker’s phone was later abandoned.

Poor phone.

But his cousin — a handheld radio — had a better fate:

Farther north on San Pablo Avenue, Reyes allegedly went into a local café’s kitchen and then to a rental car agency next door. Medics were summoned to a “medical emergency” at the cafĂ©, possibly a fentanyl overdose, according to dispatch traffic, but Reyes fled north as emergency responders arrived.

Reyes then went to the rental car office next door, authorities say, where he allegedly took a handheld radio.

… which was to benefit him how?

And: “allegedly”? Was the radio still in office after this tattoo artist left, or not? Was it later found in his (aptly named) possession?

According to police, Reyes went across the street, where firefighters saw the attempted carjacking of a Prius from a customer in line at a local bakery. A toddler was in the back seat of that victim’s car as Reyes attempted to drive off, authorities say, but the car wouldn’t start because the keys were not inside.

Fob-use-less!

Will a Democrat judge order him to Advance to Go and Collect $200?

July 18, 2025

SAN FRANCISCO, CA — In a powerful rebuke of ICE’s retaliatory efforts, a federal court today granted a preliminary injunction protecting Guillermo Medina Reyes, a beloved [Journalism!] Bay Area tattoo artist, organizer, and immigrant rights advocate, from being immediately re-detained by immigration authorities. U.S. District Judge Rita Lin’s order means that Guillermo will be provided a bond hearing before an immigration judge to determine whether or not he will remain free, and confirming that Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) cannot unilaterally decide to re-detain someone in Guillermo’s position who was released on bond by an immigration judge.

https://www.ccijustice.org/post/preliminary-injunction-granted-guillermo

Modern Journalism [sic]

Just build the structure of your story using the following phrases, and then add whatever words you can think of, like so much tinsel on a Christmas tree:

… fear he will …

… allegedly …

… could …

… a source has claimed …

… could break protocol …

… is expected …

… will be appalled …

… seems to be …

… will be …

… possibility …

… aides fear the US president might …

… which could …

… “If Trump starts sounding off” …

King Charles ‘appalled’ by Trump remark as aides fear he will break royal protocol
Daily Express | Mon, Jul 28, 2025 | Sophia Papamavroudi

King Charles is allegedly “very concerned” that US President Donald Trump could launch into a massive rant about immigration during his second state visit to the UK in September, a source has claimed. It comes shortly after the US president sent Prime Minister Keir Starmer “advice” about the ongoing small boat crisis.

While on a private visit to Scotland, Mr Trump warned the Prime Minister that those coming across on dinghies are “bad people”, but praised efforts to end crossings. Meanwhile, after arriving in Scotland on Friday, the US politician made headlines after he declared that illegal migration is a “horrible invasion” that is “killing Europe”.

Now, civil servants have issued warnings that he could break protocol and make politicised comments during his visit to England in a few weeks.

Mr Trump is expected to deliver the traditional speech at the state banquet held in his honour by the King and Queen when he arrives.

A source who is close to the King told the Daily Beast: “Charles has spent his entire life promoting tolerance and compassion.

“He will be appalled by what Trump said on Friday, which seems to be entirely driven by his domestic agenda, and will be very concerned about the possibility of a repeat of Trump’s outburst in September.”

They added that aides fear the US president might give an impromptu interview to the media with political statements, which could put the monarch in a difficult position.

They said: “If Trump starts sounding off about the evils of immigration to the cameras while the King is standing next to him, the King would find that hard to take.”

The article refers to “King” Charles and “Prime Minister” Keir Starmer, but nowhere can bring itself to use the form “President Trump.”

Pretty thin gruel from the land of Oliver Twist.

Straight Line of the Day: Russia Needs Help With Its Birthrate! Ideas Being Considered: …

Russia Forms ‘Demographic Special Forces Unit’ as Birth Rate Hits Historic Low
The Moscow Times | July 24, 2025

Russia has established a new group of officials, described as a “demographic special forces unit,” in response to a catastrophic decline in birth rates across the country, the RBC business daily reported Thursday.

  • More cowbell.
  • Bow-Dacha-Wow-Wow
  • Beer Gulag Goals
  • You will perform with KGB watching.

Cartoons and Memes

“Thanks for being my +1 for the wedding.”

“My pleasure, like my dress?”

“Looks a little tight.”

“A bit, can’t wait to get out of it.”

“Me too.”

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