Archive of entries posted on 5th July 2025

Aces, Deuces, and One-Eyed Jags

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Jaguar Pulls Ahead of Bud Light in Race to Oblivion
Moonbattery | July 2, 2025 | Dave Blount

It was previously reported that Jaguar lagged behind Bud Light. But having thrown moonbattery into overdrive, it soon pulled ahead:

Jaguar sales in Europe plunged a shocking 97.5% following a botched rebrand that included a commercial featuring men in skirts to announce its upcoming pivot toward an all-electric fleet…

The luxury British automaker registered just 49 vehicles in Europe in April, compared with 1,961 vehicles in the same month last year, according to data from the European Automobile Manufacturers’ Association.

Sales between January and April plummeted 75.1%, with just 2,665 cars sold across the continent.

Don’t expect the company to pull a 180° when it finally manages to get its flagship $200,000 four-door EV into dealerships late in the year.

Guess I’ll have to find something else to hop into with Miss Moneypenny or that Galore chick.

Winning comment (not my own):

Take a car brand notorious for electrical system problems and make it all electric. What could possibly go wrong?

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Straight Line of the Day: Well, What Did You Do In the 5th Grade That Was Worth Noticing?

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Arizona 5th graders plotted to murder boy in bathroom and make it look like suicide, police say
NBC News | June 27, 2025 | Doha Madani and Mirna Alsharif

A group of fifth-grade students were arrested last fall over an alleged plot to murder a fellow student after being overheard discussing their plans, according to a newly released police report.

Four students at the Legacy Traditional School in Surprise, Arizona, were accused of planning to fatally stab a fellow fifth grade student and forge a suicide note to make it appear self-inflicted, according to the police report. A parent alerted the school of the plot on Oct. 1, 2024, after their child overheard the group talking about it.

I think I had just noticed jeans skirts and white blouses on the girls’ basketball team.