Hello, Aquafans!
It’s your favorite superhero once again. I had submitted a piece for the last podcast about which fish are the best conversationalists. I guess the e-mail got lost on the way to Scott, though, because it wasn’t in there.
Who cares, though? Blogging is much cooler, isn’t it? Here I can share my political opinions instantly.
Know who I think should be the next Supreme Court Justice? An octopus. It has eight arms with suction cups. I wouldn’t want a squid as judge, though, because it…
Actually, never mind. Last time I went on about a squid, I got accused of being a racist. I was just stating the facts, though.
Anyway, on to Aquaman Vol. 4, Issue# 27 (the April ’05 issue).
It’s the second part to the story about how the underwater world of Sub Diego has been turned topsy-turvy. Ends up my evil sorcerer brother The Ocean Master has cast a huge spell making people thing he’s Aquaman and that I’m The Ocean Master. But what artifact allowed him to make so huge a spell? You’ll be super surprised when you find out!
Let’s look at a sample of the issue:
Wow! Look at all that exciting action– in water! Better snatch up a back issue before they’re all gone! I’ll be back later with more about the most exciting comic adventures out there – those of, me, Aquaman!
This is Aquaman, signing off.
Ugh. I get really bored reading the Aquaman commics…I’ve been checking this site all morning waiting for the FPOD, expecting something intuitive/hilarious like always…but oh well…I guess when I’m taking free Ice Cream, I can’t have everything I want.
Bored? Reading about my adventures? That’s absurd! I shall not take such slander!
One of these days Namor will attack the offices of DC for blatantly ripping off his Golden Age pedigree…
All I’m saying is that it is the only segment I groan about when i see it on the site…it’s just not up to the same leven of High-Quality funny as the rest of the site…sorry, but it’s not even funny on a “thats so stupid it’s funny” level…anyway…not that it’ll go away or anything…I am but one man and my opinion matters only that much.
Maybe I’m just in a bad-mood today because it’s friday and I’m still at work, and not having weekend-style fun yet.
But Ben, don’t you understand: that’s the whole point of Aquaman. By being unfunny (or lacking real superpowers) he makes the rest of the IMAO blogger (or Justice League) look that much better in comparison. And what’s worse is that Aquaman doesn’t realize he’s being used! The Wonder Twins (and Harvey) are all like We Suck, But Thank God Aquaman is Here Because No One Notices How Bad We Suck Because He Sucks Even Worse.
…just kidding…
…Harvey.
I knew that…and thats the only reason I haven’t commented on this before…I say you don’t need him anymore, you should just tell him that you’re all going deep undercover and he should meet you “somewhere undisclosed” and not come out until you call and give him the ‘all-clear’ sign…and then never call…
or not…
Ben, do you really want to deprive all the Aquafans like that?
Huh huh…
“Sperm whale.”