Happy Bastille Day everyone!!
In honor of one of our most trusted and loyal allies, I thought I’d give you an overview of this very special day.
Today, France commemorates the day when the French Revolution started. This marks a day when the French decided to confront tyranny and reached down deep and fought for what they believed in.
Ironically, today is also the day Michael Moore commemorates his washboard abs.
Michael Moore is a lot like France in that it’s been ages since he’s been able to find his penis.
During the Bastille parade — French military march down the Champs-Elysées. The troops train for months for this special day — mostly because they must resist the never- ending urge to lay down their weapons.
Celebrations include lots and lots of fireworks. With all that sulfur in the air, you can almost forget you’re standing among the French.
Families line up along the boulevard to cheer on the troops and wave the official French flag. In a pinch, many wave the unofficial flag — a white handkerchief.
Historians have carried out thorough investigations and are sure that the French Revolution was started by the Bush Dynasty in an effort to control whale oil.
The Grand Marshall of the Bastille Day Parade for 1994 was Jerry Lewis.
The Grand Marshall for 2004 was Jerry Springer.
Things were so bad during the French Revolution — Les Miserables was considered a comedy.
At one point in time the French were cool. Who else would dare to eat a snail — with warm butter? Besides Australians — they’ll do anything on a dare.
The slogan of France is “Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité” — which means “Surrender is Patriotic”
Happy Bastille Day Everyone!!
Can you think of other ways to celebrate Bastille Day?
Post in comments.

I was working my way through my RSS feeds this morning, when this “news” story popped up:
Former US presidential candidate hails decision to scrub Discovery launch
CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida July 13 (AFP) – Former Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry Wednesday hailed the decision to postpone Discovery’s launch, saying it showed NASA’s capability to detect problems with the space shuttle. “You should look at today not as a disappointment but as a system that has worked,” Kerry told journalists at the Kennedy Space Center shortly after NASA’s 11th-hour decision to call of the launch. “The check system is working and the process found something that needed to be addressed. The astronauts are safe, the shuttle is on the ground, and they will address it,” the Massachussetts senator said. Mission managers canceled Wednesday’s planned launch because of a problem with Discovery’s fuel system.
Now, does anyone really care what John Kerry has to say about the scrubbed launch? Why would he even bother to issue a statement about it? He’s no more qualified to issue a statement on the matter than me, you, or a bum in the street . Whether it is “news” or not, it does give us a chance to revisit one of the funnier events from last years campaign:

Man, why didn’t I think of this. Of course the Space Shuttle didn’t launch the first day, and it probably won’t for a couple days more.
Do you know how many tourists have come to see this Shuttle launch? Do you know how much tax money my county is making off of them?
Each scrubbed launch means another day the tourists will be here. So, I bet there will be a few more faked attempts at launching the Shuttle to get mo’ money.
Simple economics, people.

Do you want to subscribe to the IMAO Podcast but can’t figure out how iPodder works? Are you frustrated that Apple doesn’t show the IMAO Podcast in iTunes anymore?
Help is here! I have posted Step-By-Step Help for anyone having trouble subscribing to the podcast on the IMAO Podcast website. If you have you have iPodder or iTunes, these pages tell you exactly how to get the IMAO Podcast automatically downloaded to your computer every Monday.
Check out our new IMAO Podcast Step-By-Step Help page here. If you think of anything that would improve this guide or anything else in the IMAO Podcast, please e-mail your suggestions to feedback@imaopodcast.com