Happy Bastille Day everyone!!
In honor of one of our most trusted and loyal allies, I thought I’d give you an overview of this very special day.
Today, France commemorates the day when the French Revolution started. This marks a day when the French decided to confront tyranny and reached down deep and fought for what they believed in.
Ironically, today is also the day Michael Moore commemorates his washboard abs.
Michael Moore is a lot like France in that it’s been ages since he’s been able to find his penis.
During the Bastille parade — French military march down the Champs-Elysées. The troops train for months for this special day — mostly because they must resist the never- ending urge to lay down their weapons.
Celebrations include lots and lots of fireworks. With all that sulfur in the air, you can almost forget you’re standing among the French.
Families line up along the boulevard to cheer on the troops and wave the official French flag. In a pinch, many wave the unofficial flag — a white handkerchief.
Historians have carried out thorough investigations and are sure that the French Revolution was started by the Bush Dynasty in an effort to control whale oil.
The Grand Marshall of the Bastille Day Parade for 1994 was Jerry Lewis.
The Grand Marshall for 2004 was Jerry Springer.
Things were so bad during the French Revolution — Les Miserables was considered a comedy.
At one point in time the French were cool. Who else would dare to eat a snail — with warm butter? Besides Australians — they’ll do anything on a dare.
The slogan of France is “Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité” — which means “Surrender is Patriotic”
Happy Bastille Day Everyone!!
Can you think of other ways to celebrate Bastille Day?
Post in comments.
How ’bout going back in time to Normandy and let ’em fight their own way out.
TEEEEEEEJ/ First?
Actually that was pretty cheesy, but so are the French…
TEEEEEEJ
D’oh, I forgot to make a cheese joke.
Bonjourrrrr, ya cheese-eatin surrender monkeys! 🙂
Was that a Groundskeeper Willie reference?
My mom’s French so I only celebrate Bastille Day…
BTW, not to whore myself, but I’m wondering what everybody thinks about this
This marks a day when the French decided to confront tyranny and reached down deep and fought for what they believed in.
Well, sort of. The French citizenry attacked the Bastille (a prison), and the guards decided not to fire on them, thus establishing a precedent followed ever since by French soldiers not commanded by a Corsican or an American (there were, for example, French troops under Eisenhower’s command in WWII).
So to celebrate, I won’t be shooting any Frenchmen today.
We could play hide and go seek. Instead of being “it” the person seeking could be Usama. Usama doesn’t have to catch you befor eyou reach base. He stands on base and when he is finished counting everyone gives up and has the UN appoint a new Usama just to be fair.
check out a google search for french miletary victories, seems about right
http://www.consumerpedia.org/page/french+military+victory.shtml
This is the highest ranked page.
Yep, it’s empty.
I plan to surrender all my french fries to my wife who insists she doesn’t really want any, but who eats half of them anyway. And they say Guantanamo is tough…
I say we celebrate by nuking the moon.
Yep, Rightwingduck. The Simpsons occasionally gets in a conservative point or two. Like this classic exchange:
Lisa: Weren’t you wondering why you were getting paid to do absolutely nothing?
Grandpa: I figured it’s cause the Democrats were back in power
To celebrate Bastille day I think I will drink a German beer.
Also don’t forget the immortal “While I normally don’t support the Republican Party, it would be nice to be on the winning side … for once” — Lisa, Krusty Runs for Kongress
Don’t forget, France was the only nation to actually be defeated twice in the same war.(Once by Germans, the the Vichey again by Allies)
I celebrated by not bathing and dropping all my guns.
Well, except for my Mauser, I ran away from that one.
But if you google “French Military Victories”, then you get this.
In all seriousness, one of the coolest link doping projects. Just google, “French military victories”, and click, “Im feeling lucky”.