If you’re only job was to learn for the next 16 years, you’d expect to come out of that like Batman. For kids, we’re happy if after K-12 plus college they have one marketable skill. Most of the school time is already just wasted busy work, but they want to increase it?
Seems like it would be cheaper and more honest to just abolish schools and just give parents guaranteed daycare until their kids are 30.

What percentage of women in the workforce would rather be a stay at home mom if given the option?

It’s strangely hard for a lot of “feminists” to accept that most women don’t want to be like men.
A society that values women wouldn’t look back at history and say all the important figures were men and women need to be more like them. It would say women have always done the most important job and it needs to be recognized more.

Some people have noticed that Superego is not available anymore as anything other than audiobook (well, some sellers have the paperback for like $1000). It will return with a new cover and a sequel.
And if you’re going to pay $1000 for a paperback, buy it from me. I still have like a box of them.

That thing where you push a button and someone you don’t know dies but you get $1 million is a great government spending metaphor.

It’s a free country. That means you can complain about billionaires and call them the worst things you can think of all you want, but if you try to plunder even one of their dollars, you should be thrown in Azkaban forever.

Billionaires don’t deserve their money. You deserve it even less. The government deserves it least of all.

People who think billionaires shouldn’t exist shouldn’t exist.

It’s called Ford vs Ferrari, but you know in the end they both team up to fight Lex Luthor.

Trillionaires should not exist. Cut the federal government.

You live in the most prosperous nation in a time in human history where you luxuries and opportunities unimaginable just a hundred years ago. If you spend any time angry someone has more than you, you’re extremely greedy.

Remember when Megyn Kelly was fired for mentioning blackface? Have we gone forwards or backwards since then?

Just like firefighters run to the fire, reporters run to the news to extinguish the news before anyone sees it.

Can you imagine a world without billionaires?
You can’t, because you’d be dead from the Joker’s laughing gas since there’s no Batman.

“Billionaires shouldn’t exist!”
gets rid of billionaires; somehow everyone becomes poorer
“Millionaires shouldn’t exist!”
gets rid of millionaires; everyone becomes poorer
“Thousandaires shouldn’t exist!”
…
“People with more than five sticks shouldn’t exist!”

My perfect president would be someone who doesn’t really care whether the American people lives or dies and thus won’t be interfering with them to harm them or because he thinks he’s being helpful.

I’m glad it gets narrowed down to just two choices in November 2020 because I am completely overwhelmed by all these great options for president.

I don’t understand exactly what’s “guaranteed” about Amazon’s guaranteed delivery dates.
“We guarantee it will arrive by this day or otherwise we’ll email you telling you it’s going to be late.”

I didn’t see The Simpsons Stranger Things Halloween episode, but I was think the weird thing about 80s nostalgia with The Simpsons is when the series first started, Bart grew up in the 80s, but now that would be Homer.
I think it was over a decade ago they had a joke on The Simpsons sliding time scale, with Homer starting a flashback narration with “Back when I was a kid in the late 50s… or was it the 60s? Or maybe the early 70s.”
You know, The Simpsons was only in its 14th season when South Park did its “Simpsons did it!” episode. South Park just completed its 23rd season. A difference with South Park, though, is I still hear people talk about South Park episodes.
End observation dump. I have no point.

It doesn’t matter how much money someone has; you don’t have a right to decide how to spend a single dollar of it.

All the people complaining about billionaires also don’t deserve whatever wealth they have. If they somehow succeeded in summoning economic “justice,” they would not like it.
For how much of human history did people subsist on what would be the equivalent of $1 a day? No one “needs” $20,000.
We were all born into incredible wealth and luxury, yet so many just focus on people with more and make themselves miserable. You all deserve less than you have.

I wish I was important enough for President Trump to give me a nickname… though it would probably be “Cool Dude Frank.” Even Trump wouldn’t be able to insult me. Because I’m such a cool dude.

I hate billionaires. One lives next door to me and he constantly makes fun of how relatively poor I am and then pelts me in the face with stacks of bills. Those are heavier than you think and they sting.

My billionaire neighbor, Steve, is a huge jerk. He’s always taunting me with things like “Better go save those pennies for your kids’ college. Better save those pennies!”

The other day, he asked me, “Do you even own your house?”
“Well, I have a mortgage…”
“Ha! The bank owns your house! Look at me, I’m Frank: ‘Please Mr. Bank Manager, please give me money so I can buy a house.’”
“Mortgages are pretty common, Steve.”
“Common for losers!”

“How much do you even make, Frank? Like only 7 digits?”
“I don’t earn anywhere near that, Steve.”
“How do you even live? I would kill myself if I were you.”
“I think I make a pretty decent salary. I mean…”
“Sorry! Can’t hear you over the sound of how much money I have!”

I don’t know what to do. He’s out there every time I leave my house. I guess he doesn’t have to work… on account of all the billions he has.

I really like Laffy Taffy as a candy, but I feel compelled to read the terrible terrible jokes on the back before I tear off the wrapper and it just makes them too much work.

I’ve decided “OK Boomer” is what I now say to my kids whenever they whine about something.
“Stop saying that! I don’t know what that means!!!”
“OK Boomer.”

Little Winchester is about 9 and a half months now. He’s doing great, except he’s small… like fell off the growth charts small. It would be really concerning if he weren’t so perfectly health otherwise. He’s hitting all the other milestones and really seems to be thriving.

All the Fleming kids have been on the small side, and when you combine that with Down syndrome, I guess you’d expect really small. Still, we’re hoping he’ll put on some more weight soon.
He’s starting to talk. “Mama” and some syllables that are maybe “dada.” His favorite form of communication, though, is the raspberry. He’s always giving me raspberries. It’s not particularly respectful.

Have you tried not caring about billionaires?
“Jeff Bezos has a net worth over one hundred billion dollars!”
“Interesting.” moves on with his life, dealing with things that actually affect him

And is it just me, or is it perverse all these millionaires complaining about billionaires? It just goes to show you it doesn’t matter how much you have, you can either choose to be happy or miserable about it.

If you don’t like the way police handle law enforcement, here’s a great tip: Stop coming up with new laws for them to enforce.
Instead it’s like: “We don’t like the way police treat minorities. Hey, let’s pass a hate speech law to protect minorities!”
So instead of someone getting strangled for selling loose cigarettes, they’ll get strangled for using the wrong pronoun.

Maybe Politifact should just come up with a “True, but we don’t want to admit that” rating.

Isn’t it hypocritical for people on the left to get angry at that churro lady being arrested? But hey, if you want to support unregulated capitalism, we’ll make room on the bus.

There are basically only 1 ways for an entity to become a trillionaire:
1. Large-scale violent coercion

Renting Hobbs and Shaw. Accidentally got it first through Amazon before I realized it was only a 24 hour rental. I can’t watch 2 hours and 17 minutes in 24 hours; I’m not an unemployed bachelor.
For some reason all the Fast & Furious movies are 24 hour rental on Amazon but 48 on Google Play but the same price. Wonder why that is.

Important to know: If you have a Verizon unlimited data plan, you can get Disney+ free for a year through them. Just log into your account, go to manage add ons ad the bottom of the page, and it should be there.

In politics, there is at least one thing you are absolutely 100% certain you’re right about that you are in fact very wrong about and you should behave accordingly.

Before Disney+ stopped working for me, I was able to show my 9yo daughter the first episode of the original DuckTales and the first episode of The Simpsons (I got in trouble with my wife for that one, but I was my daughter’s age when I first saw it).

Made my 4yo cry by saying “Ok Boomer” to her, but someone needed to take her down a notch.

I hate command line compiling on Windows. It’s the ugliest thing.