Wait, now: define “romance.”

Interns are colloquially known as Love Burglars.

And they are often overheard to say things along the lines of . . .

“Oppo was my only [fill in the blank] … “

“But mine, too!”

Gun beats hairbrush every time.

“Anyone from IMAO going from New York to Miami?”

It may be my imagination, but interns seem to be getting more and more hard-boiled..

For instance: the latest employee yearbook:

Genuine lizzard leather strap? Enclose the goodwill deposit.

In 1929, Amelia Earhart became the first woman to kill a spider without a man present. However, the location of that spider is unknown to this day.

… You can certainly get a job at IMAO. We don’t even pretend to write anything on our interview papers.

But your fingers shouldn’t be weird.

These are all true facts.

Willya get those text boxes out of the way?

“Yeah, Ma? So, I got the IMAO job! Yay! No. No problem. Barely an inconvenience.”

.

“W-wait — that means I didn’t get it?”

{Oppo, in mirror, where he likes to be}: “Sorry, Doll-face; you just didn’t have plenty-enough moxie. And you’re no MaryAnn. Now scram!”

We are amused, because we’re removed from the action by a deck, a camera, and an internet.

We forget, perhaps, that these interactions are literally a moment of life or death for the two creatures involved.

It’s like watching a police chase.

“There’s still a chance,” he says, imagining a new design for a Mae West.

FAA stops all daytime rocket launches amid deepening US government shutdown crisis
Interesting Engineering | November 07, 2025 | Aamir Khollam

Beginning next week, all daytime rocket launches in the United States will be grounded as the record-breaking federal government shutdown drags into its second month.

A member of IMAO, and an Honorary Commenter thereunto, died unexpectedly sometime or other, due to a frolic with giddy loose intern cheerleader stewardesses on a girls’ night out. All who knew him, as friend, colleague, student, collaborator, or fellow pickpocket, marveled at his seemingly boundless energy and determination, his focused devotion to whatever project involved him, his deep intellect and flowing humor, his endless imagination for creating a better world, his talent at institution-building, and his ongoing curiosity propelling a dedication to achieving progress in the human condition. And a fondness for wine. His professional life featured an inexhaustible determination to use humor to protect human dignity around the world. His interests, expertise, and scholarship in international claims, human rights, environmental mishaps, and global governance in particular were surpassing in their consistent excellence, continuous push against familiar doctrinal parameters, and his rich profusion of unpublishable and unprintable scholarship.

He leaves all his estate to Brandi and her sister.