Now that Amanda Marcotte is officially staying as the Team Edwards blogger, it’s safe to say that John Edwards is a man of very low standards. That’s why he should choose a blogger from IMAO!!
I know what you’re thinking: “But, Ducky, you’ve always hated and mocked John Edwards and his Breck-girl girly ways!”
That’s true. But when I said
“If John Edwards were President, the Muslims would stream across the border, race right past the wets, and f&Ck ol’ Johnny righ the @ss. And he would probably like it.”
I really meant that in a playful, satirical, non homobophobic manner.
John Edwards has a lot of fine qualities…
Environment: Sure John Edwards lives in a 28,000 square foot mansion, but he cares about the enviroment. In fact, when servants need to get from one side of the house to the other, he encourages them to use Public Transportation.
Equal Rights: Mr. Edwards believes in equal rights and equal access for the sexes. His home features and His AND hers hair salons.
Affordable Housing: The Servants’ Wing of his home falls into the low income zip codes. This wing features lower taxes while the other parts of his city features amazingly high taxes for the wealthy.
Man of the people: John Edwards legal address is still in the Servants’ Wing.
Global Warming: The earth is getting warmer. And what is John Edwards doing about it? He’s running his air conditioning non-stop. He literally is willing to air condition the whole neighborhood.
Terrorism: Wheras crazy right wingers believe that terrorists should be killed and their entrails fed to pigs, Mr. Edwards believe in more diplomatic solutions. Solutions include Sleepovers At My House where Al Queda operatives gather round, tell stories, paint fingernails, and then have pillow fights over territorial issues.
Immigration and friendliness: The other day, he was golfing with some friends and a family of illegals were making their way across the course. He offered them a ride in his stretch golf-cart. When he crashed into a tree, he helped the family by suing the golf club and their board of directors. **
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So there are a lot of good qualities to John Edwards and I think he should choose me, or any other of the other IMAO bloggers, to be one of his other official bloggers.
An observation to the Edwards campaign.
You lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas.
You consort with foul, mouthed, bigoted, atheists, you don’t get elected president.
Good job John, you’ve ensured you will be the loser again this election. Thank you!
I like this comment I saw on Pandagon by “JB”-
//If one wanted to denigrate and offend they could hardly find a better spokeswoman. No chance of her staying on the political team of John Edwards if the real Amanda comes out. She must now tow the Edwards line or leave.//
That’s going to be a tough one for her. Should she do as she’s told? And by a penis-wielding rich guy at that?
Boy, I’m glad I don’t have to make the choice between Harvey and Ducky. However, since Ducky refuses to answer the last two batches of Dr. Duck questions, I think I’d probably have to go with Harvey.
Actually SkyeChild, the Duck refuses to answer the last and the third to the last batch of Dr. Duck questions. I vote for Harvey, he doesn’t lie to us.
Amanda Marcotte?
Or Dave Foley?
You decide…