Do you want more money? Of course, we all do. Well, I’m here to tell you that you can make money for something you’ve been doing for free: Denying global warming.
I heard how President Bush was paying off scientists to deny global warming, and I started wondering, “How can I get in on this money making opportunity?”
So, I went to the Forecast Channel on my Nintendo Wii the other night and recorded the temperatures of major cities in the U.S. Then, the next afternoon, I went back and recorded the temperature of those same cities. I noted the increase in all those temperatures and wrote a paper showing that so much warming in such a brief period of time was conclusive evidence of global warming.
Hours later, I get a phone call. It’s President Bush. “Frank,” he said, “would $10,000 help you rethink your position on global warming.”
I didn’t want to sound like a chump, so I said, “I don’t know. I really really believe in global warming.”
“Well… how does $20,000 sound?”
“It sounds like I need to review my research,” I said.
And look what I have now:
You better jump on this money making opportunity now before it gets shut down.
Also, I should mention that there is no such thing as global warming. Globes don’t warm, and only stupid people without big checks would think otherwise.
Wait, wait, wait…I thought the government gave away grants to PROVE global warming…now I’m confuzzled. Isn’t that how they proved evolution…lotsa government funding?
Boy, Christianity needs to apply for a government grant.
Some one in Britain is offering lots of money for a cure or at least ideas on how to slow and or stop global warming. Sounds like a good way to make a some spare cash.
Hmm.. How come Dubya and SaraK’s handwriting look the same? : )
Frank, you are wrong about globes not warming up. As you can tell from this picture obviously the globe is too hot to handle. Now we know that earth is in the hands of Richard Branson.
Is that supposed to be Texas on that check or a certain one cell animal?
Just gotta know.
Hey – I bank with Fascist National too! That makes me and George like neighbors almost!
Six feet of snow at zero degrees – global warming my ass!
Twenty Gs, please…
Big schmeal!
I got 50k for declaring that I could prove the global warmening people wrong with nothing more than a medium tangerine and a can of Aqua Net.
I’m buying a Humvee and retrofitting it with a 500 cubic inch police cruiser motor that burns kitten blood.
Yeeeearrrrgh!
We could stop global warming if we could just get all Democrats, hippies, and liberals to shut up.
Their mouths are responsible for more hot air than any car.
How about a puppy blood engine? That should be carbon neutral.
So – wonder how much W. tossed the Czech Republic’s president? (And was the potshot at Al Gore’s sanity near the end an extra freebie, or did it cost extra?)
Link to a translation of the interview below:
http://motls.blogspot.com/2007/02/vclav-klaus-about-ipcc-panel.html
very funny