Why Did Mommy and Daddy Vote For Obama?
To help children understand the craziness in the world, there’s now this book called Why Did Mommy and Daddy Vote For Obama?
WHY DID MOMMY AND DADDY VOTE FOR OBAMA?
* They are easily distracted by shiny things.
* Because they’re not “mommy and daddy”, they’re “mommy and mommy”.
* Let’s just say it’s a bad idea to use your time waiting in line at the voting booth to snort coke.
* They wanted someone who reflected their values of shallowness and not being particularly fond of America.
* He had a ‘D’ next to his name.
* Because Daddy threatened to beat mommy otherwise.
* Because they want to make sure they have a right to end any future children and not have to answer more stupid questions.
* Let’s just say that mommy and daddy’s last IQ test was inconclusive because they chewed on it.
* The only other choice was McCain.
* Because of something bad you did!
(37 votes, average: 4.70 out of 5)
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September 21st, 2009 at 1:18 pm
* Because he’s black, you cracker!
* Because mommy and daddy don’t understand the concept of personal responsibility, and they want the government to be in charge of every facet of their lives
* Because grandma drank heavily when she was pregnant with mommy
* Because ACORN gave them each a pack of free cigarettes to do so
September 21st, 2009 at 1:24 pm
* Because they were told to by their shop steward.
September 21st, 2009 at 1:25 pm
*To prove to the folks at the club that their child is not racist
*Two words: White Guilt
*To show the world that we are past our aversion to socialism.
*Because everyone knows that there is no way a woman could be president.
September 21st, 2009 at 1:25 pm
* Because thinking is hard!
September 21st, 2009 at 1:26 pm
* Because mommy is ruled by her emotions and daddy lacks testosterone.
September 21st, 2009 at 1:28 pm
* No mortgage payments! Free healthcare! Free ice cream! Lower taxes! The respect of the world! Pink unicorns!
* To take this country back (from responsible adults)!
September 21st, 2009 at 1:29 pm
* Because they were are too young to remember what a train wreck jimmy carter was the first time.
September 21st, 2009 at 1:34 pm
Frank, I gotta say, I’d been having a pretty crappy monday here in new jersey (someday, I’ll learn to stop expecting otherwise). Your second comment almost made me feel like I was having a crappy monday in another state (i.e. 100000% better!!!!).
Direct quote from the Amazon page:
“The first five books in the series include: 1. Why Are Some Plants Called Fruits and Others Vegetables?, 2. Why Did Cousin James Call the Ring A Rock?, 3. Why Did Mommy and Daddy Vote Today?, 4. Why Do We Need Clothes: Fashion/ Function?, 5. Why is the Sky Blue?, 6. Why is Grandma sad: Dealing with Transitions and Health.”
Maybe the Seventh book can be “Why can’t we count to six?”
Furthermore, if mommy and daddy don’t care enough about their kids to not vote for Dr. Doom (apologies to the real Dr. Doom. Sorry Vic.), why would they care enough to buy them this stupid book?
Finally…this book is a bilingual edition. I’ll give you one guess what the second language is. Hahahahah you guessed spanish! WRONG!
The book is printed in english and FRENCH?!?!?!!!!!!! How many 7-12yr old french-only readers do we have in this country whose parents voted for the Obacalypse? Was there some big news story about the surrender-monkey voting block that I missed?
September 21st, 2009 at 1:38 pm
Because they took away the butterfly ballot and replaced it with a dodo ballot.
They wanted to help get your cousins out of Gitmo.
Have you smelled mommy and daddy lately??? What the hell did you expect?
They are hoping to corner the market on rubberband powered cars.
They found out Obama supports abortion up to the 28th trimester. How old are you again?
Your mommy and Daddy are retarded.
September 21st, 2009 at 1:39 pm
* Because Daddy and Mommy have room temperature IQ’s.
* Because when Michael Moores’ sphincter speaks, liberals listen.
* Because shut up!
September 21st, 2009 at 2:01 pm
Because Daddy threatened to beat mommy otherwise.
I’d guess that, for the typical couple voting for Obama, it was Mommy threatening to beat Daddy.
September 21st, 2009 at 2:01 pm
*Because his campaign workers were handing out lolipops.
*Free El Salvador child prostitute with every vote.
*Because the Black Panthers in front of the polls threatened to beat them up otherwise.
September 21st, 2009 at 2:01 pm
* Because Mommy and Daddy are concerned Christian conservatives from a key battleground state who are very afraid of Sarah Palin.
* “Is Barack Obama gonna hafta choke a b!tch?”
* Because Daddy loves himself some free Olde English.
* Because Mommy loves vague generalities. After all, that’s how she hooked up with your deadbeat Daddy in that bar in the first place.
September 21st, 2009 at 2:17 pm
* The JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS
* Becuase Hugo Chavez and Fidel Castro weren’t on the ballot
* The Black Panther thugs outside the polling place said they’d beat us if we voted for McCain
* Because you touch yourself at night
September 21st, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Aw, somebody beat me to the Black Panther reference.
September 21st, 2009 at 2:22 pm
I bought the book.* The last paragraph reads:
Now that you understand why Mommy and Daddy did this, can you cough up some cash? We’re broke.
* not really
September 21st, 2009 at 2:30 pm
*because Obama killed your mommy and daddy and replaced them with O-bot human replicas.
*because your mommy and daddy were stupid stoner hippies in the 60′s and got a hold of some bad acid.
*Because Obama said they’d never have to work again, because someone else would pay there way for everything.
*because mommy and daddy hate kids, and old people.
*because mommy and daddy have a combined IQ lower than a rock.
*because your mommy and daddy hate America.
September 21st, 2009 at 2:45 pm
“Because they thought society in the Brave New World was cool.”
September 21st, 2009 at 2:54 pm
*Because he’s clean and articulate, not like the hotel staff.
September 21st, 2009 at 2:59 pm
>__< the mommy and mommy one is funny. In futurama when they are holding the year 3000 elections they poke fun at how the candidates are clones of each other. If only that only applied to future elections. Sadly that is what our present political atmosphere is looking like.
September 21st, 2009 at 3:24 pm
All of which (the above), explains why the child’s response at school to “what does your father do” – he’s a crackhead, pedophile, homosexual, male prostitute. The kid figured it was less embarrassing than admitting he was an Obama campaign/community organizer.
September 21st, 2009 at 3:39 pm
It’s because people were “confused”. According to Obama this past weekend, that’s the only reason Americans haven’t embraced health care reform. We are just not smart enough to understand what our benevolent leaders are trying to do for us simple folk.
September 21st, 2009 at 3:43 pm
* Because Mommy & Daddy smoke too much of that extra-stinky “tobacco” they can buy tax-free, and they drink a whole lot of that bitter-tasting adult grape juice.
September 21st, 2009 at 3:47 pm
* because they were promised lots of stuff for free that would be taken from other people.
September 21st, 2009 at 3:49 pm
“Because they tired of punishing you & now want to punish the world! Muhahahahaha”
September 21st, 2009 at 4:09 pm
Because they want your Grandma to die.
September 21st, 2009 at 4:10 pm
What’s a daddy, mommy? Don’t worry Sally, it…I mean he… should be coming in the mail any day now.
You’ll have a new baby sister soon and daddy will get even bigger, that’s why I voted for Obama.
*Why Did Mommy Vote for Obama and Why is “Daddy” in jail”? (again)
*Who’s your daddy and what’s he in for?
*Why isn’t daddy allowed to vote?
*I don’t know if daddy voted for Obama, I only met him once.
September 21st, 2009 at 4:12 pm
So wait, this book is printed in English and French about why your parents voted for Obama, and Amazon is trying to tell me this is not a joke?
September 21st, 2009 at 4:28 pm
because the Stupid Party actually followed our advice and nominated that Democrat Lite
September 21st, 2009 at 4:59 pm
They were drunk….yes drunk! I hate to admit it…they were totally and completely s**t faced on election day. I know that’s a poor excuse, being an alcoholic is never an excuse for bad behavior but, unfortunately, it’s the unvarnished truth. Damn that MD 20-20….damn it to hell!
September 21st, 2009 at 5:19 pm
Fell for the old I’ll be your General Welfare in The War on Stupid campaign promise.
I know Grandma smells but she ain’t gonna die any time soon on her on.
Cuz we is trailer trash and I hears that Bogammy guy is speaking tooth to power.
September 21st, 2009 at 7:30 pm
Because as DAVID EHRENSTEIN told us in the L.A. Times, he’s a Magic Negro.
September 21st, 2009 at 9:10 pm
*Because America is the greatest country in the world, and Obama promised he could Change that.
September 22nd, 2009 at 11:58 am
The second through fifth times was for the walking around money, but the first time was just for me.
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Because the globe isn’t just gonna warm itself.
Because he makes us all hopey and changey.
Because we are afraid of Michelle.
Because he is Darth-Urkel.
September 23rd, 2009 at 5:08 am
My mother was in the hospital on Election Day in 2004 (she sadly passed away a few months later). She actually wanted me to arrange an ambulette to take her to vote because she was up nights “afraid that horrible John Kerry person might get elected”