Excerpts from Obama’s West Point Speech

In case you missed Obama’s speech last night, here are some excerpts from it:

“As a compromise with my left-wing base, I’m going to be holding this anti-war protest sign throughout the speech.”

“If victory starts happening, I won’t actively try and stop it.”

“War is expensive, and I just can’t see putting a large amount of money into something that doesn’t create a giant government program.”

“I think we can still achieve… what’s that words again… starts with a ‘v’ and rhymes with ‘hickory’?”

“I want you to know we support you. Bill Ayers even promised me he won’t blow you up.”

“You should know I’ve made progress in getting rid of the ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ policy; it’s now half gone as I’ve gotten rid of the ‘Don’t Ask’ part.”

“Just feel lucky I took time out of forcing a health care bill on the American people to talk to you.”

“The reasons this decision took months wasn’t me ‘dithering’; that was me completely not caring.”

“America has always been at the forefront of… oh, this is more of that ‘American exceptionalism’ boilerplate. I’m just going to go ahead and skip it.”

“I assure you, I don’t want you to fail. I just don’t really care that much whether you win.”

“It may seem like I’m failing horribly as a leader, but I’m just trying to generate a lot of press for myself so I can get my own reality TV show.”

“Gitmo. Torture. As a liberal, I’m legally required to mention that any time I talk about the military.”

“And that’s as hawkish as I can sound without causing my base to screech at me in their tiny, high-pitch voice. Really, whenever I stir them up, it’s like I made a bunch of alarm clocks angry at me.”

“While campaigning, I said Iraq was just distracting from the conflict in Afghanistan. Now I kinda see why you’d want to distract from it, because I really don’t want to deal with it either.”

“Know that of the people who will be trying to kill you, very few are what you’d describe as ‘close friends’ of mine.”

“Oh man, I’m so bored just talking about this. Anyone want to hear about health care instead?”

“I know this is hard for you military people, but try not to be a bunch of nazis about this.”

“I’m not really feeling it with you guys. I should have given this speech at East Point.”

“I want you to know that no matter what happens, no matter how dark things get, I will always be here to remind you that this is all Bush’s fault.”

“In closing, can someone help get this bucket off my head?”

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18 Comments

  1. Oh, whoa! Liverals are falling off the Obama bus like dead maggots. Talk radio is full of sound bites.

    This Obomba guy just can’t win. Ha!

    (Those were great, Frank!)

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  2. They interviewed a bunch of smelly anti-war hippies at a coffee shop in St Paul. A book “Queer Ideas” was obvious in the back ground! They are all stomping their smelly feet and having a fit! It was fab.

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  3. and “national kick a hippie day” would be my favorits. in the words of Cartman, “I hate hippies. all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.”

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  4. I’m also ordering the following to advance my strategy in Afghanistan:
    Joy Beher – Pentagon spokesman
    JAG – Whoopie (rape-rape) Goldberg
    Chrissy Mathews – WH “real media” approved correspondent

    I’m also dismantling Voice of America and letting Aljazeerah be our voice. This will be my first cost/debt reduction accomplishment.

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  5. Hey Mister Taleeban, send me a bombana, Ayers coming and he want go home.

    PackyStan? I didn’t know Obam and Barney Frank lusted after a South Park character.

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  6. (Bugging his eyes out, and tugging on his collar) ” Tough crowd, tough crowd. I don’t get no respect.” (as the crickets chirp)

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  7. Everytime that man say “TollyBon” and “Pawkestan” I want to so “boll sheet”.
    Just sayin.

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  8. What the heck did we do to deserve this guy?

    Oh, right. 100 years of rotten thinking, culminating in:

    “Watch money. Money is the barometer of a society’s virtue. When you see that trading is done, not by consent, but by compulsion- when you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing- when you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors- when you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don’t protect you against them, but protect them against you- when you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self-sacrifice- you may know that your society is doomed.” ~Ayn Rand

    I read that as a teenager, long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

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  9. Jimmy,

    You do have to admit that not only do they have great Power Converters, but Toshi Station has a great bookstore too!

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  10. Pingback: Just In Time For Christmas An Afghan Policy, Or Not? « Moonbat Patrol

  11. “We will surrender with DIGNITY. We will even tell you WHEN we will surrender, in 18 months. We will surrender unconditionally and give the country over to the Taliban so that they can once again kill and torture their own, and work on 911 version 2.0.”

    O vertly
    B eing
    A
    M uslim
    A ppeaser

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  12. “Know that the people who will be trying to kill you, very few are what you’d describe as ‘close friends’ of mine.”
    …and you’ll know which ones are because they’ll be given civilian jury trials in New York, and you’ll be court marshalled if you rough them up too much when you capture them.

    #4 – MarkoMancuso,
    “I’m selling this joint to the British.” LOL!

    “I am the Scourge of God. Had you not created great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you.”
    – Genghis Khan, 1162-1227

    “Never interrupt your enemy while he is making a mistake.”
    – Napoleon Bonaparte, 1769-1821

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  13. “Let me be clear, to you heroin funded Talibanis:
    just lay low till I get my props for ending this war
    during my re-election campaign,
    and I and my media lapdogs
    will lay low when you burn the girl’s schools
    that we built, and slap your uppity women back into slavery…”

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  14. “If victory starts happening, I won’t actively try and stop it.”

    Wow, that constitutes a major policy change.

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