The campaign for the White House is underway. Or hadn’t you noticed? No? Trust me, it’s started.
You’ll be hearing all the campaign slogans from all the campaigns soon. If they can come up with some.
I’ve thrown in with the campaign of fellow Georgian Herman Cain, because he’s the most conservative of the candidates. Not a fan of that whole “Fair Tax” thing, but as for common principles, his most align with mine.
But the Cain campaign doesn’t really have a slogan. Not that I can tell, anyway. You got a bunch of the “woo-hoo” crowd telling out things like “Yes we Cain!” during the pauses in the candidate’s speeches, but not a lot more than that.
No “Change we can believe in” or “Hope and change” or any of those greatest hits from 2008.
Perhaps a candidate can win by actually taking good positions and spelling out a plan, but really, this is the nation that elected Barack Obama. Those kind of short attention span people are going to need something clever to get or keep their attention long enough to mark their ballots.
And that’s where you come in.
Help come up with some slogans for the candidates. I’ll start:
Herman Cain
He delivers!Doesn’t understand “right of return” or any of the rest of the nonsense the Palestinians are spouting off about.
Ron Paul
Not as crazy as Harold Camping, but close!Chris Christie
Not really a conservative, but not really running for president, either.Sarah Palin
Go ahead. Nominate me. That’ll piss ’em off, you betcha!Barack Obama
Not done embarrassing America yet!
Okay, these are lame. I’m sure you can do much better. Have at it.
Cain Is Able!!
You know, I gotta call on folks here to explain the “Christie is not a conservative” comment. Near as I can tell, it boils down to the illegal immigration issue and gun control. The rest seems to be down the line “conservative” or he has a position that’s still robustly debated within conservative circles.
Illegal immigration? I think folks tend to change their minds when it becomes their problem to deal with. Gun control? I think he’s on the wrong side, but he’s a former prosecutor and I’ll give him latitude for that position because, honestly, I haven’t had to console 100 or so victims of gun crimes.
So, what is it about Christie that’s not “conservative?” I’m looking for the argument so I can either agree or disagree.
Here’s my take: There are three legs to conservatism’s stool. Fiscal conservatism, social conservatism, and strong national defense. If a guy fails on two of the three, he’s an Arlen Spectre. Fails on one of the three and it becomes more of a judgement call.
So, let’s talk about Christie’s stool.*
*yes, intentional
Rock Throwing Peasant:
I wrote about that one time. I’ll find it, but the gist is that, for New Jersey, he’s conservative. For Georgia, he’s to the left of many Democrats. Really.
Remember the scene in “‘Crocodile’ Dundee ” where he says, “That’s not a knife. That’s a knife.”
Same thing.
Come to Georgia and visit. I’ll feed you grits for breakfast, let you slop the hogs, then take you around town and show you some real conservatives.
Obama – already has WTF! (winning the future, but I will totally wear a t-shirt that says Obama/Biden 2012/WTF!?!)
Newt Gringrich: “I miss the couch.”
Ron Paul: “My son has my jeans!”
Sarah Palin: “All the others pale in comparison.”
Tim Pawlenty: “ZZZZZZZZZ”
Mitt Romney: “Don’t “ZZZZZZZZZ” on me while I’ve still got jiZZ in my pants!”
Rudy Giuliani: “Mitt Romney’s a RINO and I’m a black pot.”
Herman Cain: “While I’m drivin’, we won’t be throwin’ our friends under the damn bus!” (*bump* – “It’s OK! That was a Democrat!”)
Chris Christie: “I knew Jenny Craig once. It didn’t work out.”
(OK, these are REALLY lame, Basil, I’m sorry…)
“Cain you can believe in”
(has Obama rescued that shelter dog yet?)
I heard the question about the ‘right of return’ and Cain’s somewhat confused answer. It wasn’t the lack of knowledge that bothered me but rather his decision to pretend he understood.
Why is it so hard for pols to admit ignorance? An opinion that has not been thought out is worth nothing. Real people don’t know everything (except for Frank J of course) and honest people don’t pretend to. An intelligent and honest person, in the face of an unknown situation or unresolved opinion, wouldn’t need to cite anything other than their guiding principles. For example, “it would depend on how it affected Israel’s security”.
/
I won’t vote for Romney’s Ego but it insists on running anyway. Darn. That family reminds me too much of the Bushes (of which I’ve had more than enough thank you).
/
Guiliani maybe….and I hope that Sarah goes for Kyl’s seat.
Herman Cain: Rhymes with Pain. Like the type Obama will feel when I beat his…
Chris Christie: You gonna eat that?
Mitt Romney: They call me Mitt. Baseball Mitt.
Sarah Palin: Not only will I beat Obama, I will gut him, stuff him, and hang his head in the oval office.
Barack Obama: Sarah, please don’t hurt me. Michelle! Help! ArRRRGghh gurglemorphrins
Sarah Palin – Muwahahahahahahah!
Mitt Romney – squeak
Herman Cain – Uhh
Chris Christie – I ain’t runnin’
Barack Obama – I killed Osama but I don’t care if I get the credit because I ordered the mission when I was given the facts and I then made a courageous decision to I send I the I Seal I Team I Six I into I Osama’s I compound I to I kill I him I!
Thadeus McCotter – giggle
Michelle Bachmann – Muwhahahahahahaha!
Ralph Nader “Vote for me !! I’m like Obama and Biden combined, but with less brains.”
Chris Christie “I’ll bring home the bacon. And eat it, too.”
Mitt Romney “If you put me in the White house I won’t be going door to door bothering you.”
Sarah Palin “For every vote for her a liberal dies a small death somewhere.”
Herman Cain “Brains, talent, honesty, the anti Obama. And a bucket never got near my head.”
Newt Gingrich ” I will be as faithful in my service to America as I was to my wives.”
Tim Pawlenty ” Better than Obama, with lesss buckets.”
Barack Obama ” Doing his best for the economys of golf courses everywhere.”
Barack Obama “As useful as a screen door on a submarine”.
Herman Cain: Lets remove the Democrat Pain.
Flip flop your opinion about Mitt Romney! He would!
Chris Christie: If the teachers’ unions hate him, he must be good.
Herman Cain: Because Democrats need a good Caining.
Tim Pawlenty: Because you got pawlenty o’ nuttin’
Mitt Romney: I’m Sorry, All Right? Jeez
Paul Ryan: This Time, It’s Personal
Ron Paul “Not As Good As Frank J. Would Be If He Could Run. But way more crazy.”
Chris Christie “Not As Good As Frank J. Would Be If He Could Run. But way more eating.”
Mitt Romney “Not As Good As Frank J. Would Be If He Could Run. ”
Sarah Palin “Better than Frank J., And Better Looking.”
Herman Cain “Not As Good As Frank J. Would Be If He Could Run, But Damn Close.”
Newt Gingrich ”Not As Good As Frank J. Would Be If He Could Run. But more wives.”
Tim Pawlenty ”Not As Good As Frank J. Would Be If He Could Run. Close in some areas, but not nearly as entertaining.”
Barack Obama ”Not As Good As Frank J. Would Be If He Could Run. And should be unemployed. “
Obama, we’re gonna beat you with a Cain in 2012!
Herman Cain for President 2012
No chance for accusations of hate filled rhetoric here.
Herman Cain – “If I win democrats can no longer play the race card”
Obama – Ethnicity Change You Can Believe In
…………. It’s ’08 All Over Again (Literally)
Herman Cain – Return of the Right, Now You Shut Up
……………….. – Not Kwai Chang Caine, But With Kung Fu Grip
……………….. – Delivering Azz Whoopings In Less Than 30 Minutes … Guaranteed
Chris Christie: I’m following Ronald…McDonald not Reagan.
Herman CAIN: Yes I’m black you racist.
Tim Pawlenty: Politics are boring enough.
Mitt Romney: I was first with Obamacare
Barrack Obama: WTF!? with Obama/Biden 12
Here’s my suggestion for the perfect campaign slogan: “It takes a cracker to slip a rozer!” It’s catchy, simple yet prophetic, meaningless, yet meaningful, can be used under any and all circumstances, is easy to deny, is easy to confirm, it can mean many things to many people. For example…Q: “What do you think of the Palestinian Right of Return?” A: “It takes a cracker to slip a rozer.” Q: “Should the United States be involved in Libya?” A: “It takes a cracker to slip a rozer.” Well there you have it, anyway, it’s a least as good as… “yes we can.”
Chris Christie: A green mosque at ground 0 built by union illegals without guns won’t hurt ya! You gonna eat those fries?
Mitt for brains Romney: So I lost to mccain, osamas no mccain!
Tim Pawlenty: Huh!? What!? Sorry I wasn’t listening
Herman Cain: Ow!! I feel Good!
Sarah Palin: Ahem, I’m up here!
Michelle Bauchman: Put er in 4 whell drive and we’ll tread on obamby!
R. Lee Ermy: What is your major malfunction numb nuts!? What is obmaby doing in my white house?! Why aren’t you stompin obamby’s guts out?!
Cain and/or West: Either vote for me or be a racist.
Herman Cain: “The Charlie Pride of Republican Politics.”
Mitt Romney: “I promise I won’t Care anymore.”
Pawlenty: “Because we’ve all had enough excitement lately.’
“Herman Cain: Everything but bacon”
Mitch Daniels: Now less than never.
Jon Huntsman: “Please pretend I don’t exist.”
My response: “I can live with that!”
Sarah Palin – Makes Fred Thompson look like a tree hugging homo
Michell Bachmann – Makes Fred Thompson look like a tree hugging bi-sexual
Mitt Romney – Tell me what to believe and I will
Herman Cain – I make sh!tty pizza, let’s make a sh!tty country to go with them!
Newt Gingrich – Let’s just everyone take our weeners out and see who’s is biggest and go from there, ok?
TPawzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Slap…oh…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Sarah Palin: Doesn’t barry look like a moose?
jo-jo biden: I don’t talk with an American accent unless I want to.
barry hussein obamby: I am not done making a third world cesspool out of your country like my marxists bretheran did with mine.
barry hussein obamby: The klingon made me
Christi: No illegal left behind.
Christi: Guns? We don’t need no stinking guns!
Oh… Oh…. Oh….
Oh…. Oh… Oh…
(holds head)
“Here I am, rock you like a Herman Cain.”
“Obama 2012:
Change You Can STEP In.”
(Hat tip to Neal Boortz)
Huntsman 2012: “Let’s Make This Century The Chinese Century”
Come to think of it that works for Obama , too!
Pelosi 2012 : Let’s Make Elections Mean Less.
@ Noah Bawdy – Excellent!
Coming at you like a HurriCAIN!
cain is already whining about not being treated fairly by the media..because he’s black! he’s already ‘pulled a pelosi’ by saying that he’ll reveal his plan to fight terrorism…AFTER he’s elected. what he has revealed is his ignorance of foreign affairs as he sat like a deer-in-the-headlights when asked his opinion on the palestinian ‘right of return’ and then responded that “israel has no problem with people returning”…? huh ? later, he totally lied to hannity about how he would never try to answer a question if he knew nothing about the subject…which is exactly what he did! he has made odd statements about his version of ‘morality’ and ‘a woman’s place’…this guy is simply not ready for primetime. is it going to be the republicans who are swayed by a candidate with no experience and a sonorous voice this time? have we learned nothing from the last three years?
i have a slogan for him: the rent is too damn high !
el polacko:
I don’t think all that will fit on a bumper sticker, though.
I still prefer mine.
Obama in 2012: Because the Mayans Said So
OT: #4 – Basil,
Thanks for the link.
This one caught my eye and I just had to share.
(If Crocodile Dundee got a ‘gritty re-boot’.) 😉
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dez8VjLb_Pk&feature=related
“The Left needs Cained!”
Run, Herman, Run!
INCUMBENTS- THE “POLITICALLY CORRECT” ENDANGERED SPECIES!