Straight Line of the Day: Just After Winning, Obama…

Posted on November 7, 2012 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Just after winning, Obama…

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39 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Just After Winning, Obama…”

  1. Brutus says:

    …made corrections to the stock market.

  2. Genghis Khen says:

    …ate a dog, obviously.

  3. Sean says:

    Praise Allah

  4. Sean says:

    forgot the “d” after praise…

  5. Lance says:

    …was heard uttering…”holy crap…I’m gonna need some new golf clubs”…

  6. srm000 says:

    … went golfing

    …discovered new ways to double the deficit, again.

    …hid his birth certificate in a different safe.

  7. rodney dill says:

    Blamed Bush

  8. rodney dill says:

    …sent a note to Panetta, “OK, send out the military ballots now.”

  9. rodney dill says:

    Published a children’s book, Obamallard the Lame Duck.

  10. rodney dill says:

    Burned the Book of Mormon

  11. Sales Man says:

    Ruger, Colt and Remington CEO’s toasted the new adminstration and sent sent more furniture to their estates in Austrailia.

  12. Sales Man says:

    oops. Should have started that with “found out”.

  13. Conservatarian says:

    …gave his comrades a double back-pat bro hug.

  14. rodney dill says:

    …sent Michelle on a loooooong vacation

  15. Travis says:

    I expected Obama’s speech to be a little closer to this:

    “…the Republican’s attempt on my presidency has left my term scarred, and deformed. But I assure you, my resolve has NEVER been stronger!”

    “The remaining Tea Partiers will be hunted down and defeated!

    “In order to assure the security and continuing stability, the Republic will be reorganized into the first American Empire! For a safe and secure society!”

  16. g says:

    ….rubbed his hands together gleefully and started thinking up new taxes.

  17. rodney dill says:

    …added a chair to Mt. Rushmore.

  18. tomg51 says:

    … got his head stuck in a bucket

    …accepted an offer for a new set of clothes

  19. rodney dill says:

    Michelle brought Obama an Arrogant Bastard Ale, and he got her a Raging Bitch IPA.

  20. archangel says:

    …thanked the millions of dead people, illegals and black panthers for their support.

    …was caught on a hot mic whispering to mooch-elle, “holy $s!t they fell for it.”

    …frowned as the thought of having to put up with another four years of Biden crept into his mind.

    …made a mental checklist of foreign leaders he has to be sure to bow to in the next four years.

  21. Dohtimes says:

    …instituted a catch and release program on all uteri.

    …extended the gun free zone around him to include any United States of America he happens to be in at the time.

    …mandated all color charts include 18 shades lighter than Condoleezza Rice as black. 87 when he goes shirtless.

  22. Anna says:

    …told Putin, “I’m more flexible now. Tell me what position you want me in, Honeybun!”

  23. DamnCat says:

    …moved all his cash to The Cayman Islands.

  24. Vaktatunnen says:

    Cleansed himself with the Constitution. Yet again.

  25. rodney dill says:

    lit a fire, just to watch it burn.

  26. rodney dill says:

    challenged Clint Eastwood to a game of musical chairs.

  27. Dohtimes says:

    …oiled the hinge on his belly and fueled up Air Force One.

    …went to where he buried the Constitution and got all Gangnamy-ish.

    …sent out a tweet in Arabic taking full credit for the last four years, promises more.

  28. Gunga says:

    …wrote another memoir to better explain how awesome he finds himself.

  29. Westing1992 says:

    …promised to help sort out the the mess the economy’s been in for the last four years that he inherited.

  30. hadsil says:

    I give up. I’m done with politics. I quit. Goodbye.

  31. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …took credit for the fact no new hurricanes have hit the US since he was reelected.

  32. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … jumped up and was like, “YES! That’s right!” Then he high-fived everyone, did the running man, the worm, jumped up and down, and got really crazy and had a doughnut in front of Michelle. But he didn’t spike the football.

  33. a guy named Rob says:

    laughed at the crowd, made Michelle take off her shoes & pointed to the kitchen, opened a bottle of stoli and shouted “Я король” ( I am the king) bitches!

  34. CarolyntheMommy says:

    … was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize again. It was just as well earned as it was last time.

  35. Gatsby's Girl on the Side says:

    …peeled Joe Biden off a cocktail waitress and told him to sober up because they were going to be on TV soon.

  36. Patrick of Down Under says:

    told the Muslim Brotherhood to call back later, citing “too soon. We don’t want to make it THAT obvious!”

  37. TheHat says:

    …pulled up his mid-east map and put an X through Israel, saying “So Long Suckers”

  38. tanstaafl says:

    began building his temple.

  39. IMAO » Blog Archive » You’ve Been Judged! links:

    […] Keln of Nuking Politics picked his favorite punchlines to “Just after winning, Obama…” […]

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