15 Fun Facts About Father’s Day

Posted on June 16, 2013 8:00 am

[reposted from 2012]

Time once again to honor fathers everywhere and celebrate fatherhood, paternal bonds, and the influence of fathers in society.

Since you’re probably not familiar with the holiday, allow me to enlighten you:
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Typical American Father’s Day celebration.

1) Father’s Day was invented in 1909 by Sonora Dodd who got the idea while listening to a Mother’s Day sermon, during which she realized that that her own father – a widower farmer left alone to raise his six kids – deserved more crappy neckties.

2) There are an estimated 70 million fathers in the United States, all of whom own single-handled ceramic proof that they are the country’s #1 Dad.

3) The first presidential proclamation honoring fathers was issued in 1966 when President Lyndon Johnson designated the third Sunday in June as Father’s Day, figuring if he couldn’t get away to play golf, why should anyone else?

4) Father’s Day in America has been officially celebrated annually since 1972 when President Richard Nixon signed the public law that made it permanent, which explains the traditional “Father’s Day 18 Minutes of Silence.”

5) Worst Father’s Day gift ever: watching your son get Force Lightninged by your boss.

6) The most popular Internet search connected to the day is “Father’s Day crafts,” which, surprisingly, is the only Google image search that will not return pictures of frolicking lesbians.

7) The official Father’s Day flower is the rose, which most men consider the perfect gift as long as it’s sticking out of the chuck of a DeWalt cordless drill.

8) In Australia, Father’s Day is celebrated on the first Sunday in September. Traditionally, Australian fathers spend the day killing crocodiles with their bare hands. Much like every day in Australia.

9) Nearly 95 million Father’s Day cards were given last year in the United States, making Father’s Day the fourth-largest card-sending occasion. All theses card together could fill a 1-acre hole that’s 100 feet deep. The Monday after Father’s Day, they usually do.

10) Sons and daughters send 50% of the Father’s Day cards. 30% are purchased by wives for their husbands. The other 20% are handed to unsuspecting men by women during a pause after they’ve just said “Guess what?”

11) Scientific research proves that the best gift for Father’s Day is to buy Dad a bucket of golf balls. Then dump out the golf balls and fill the bucket with steak.

12) Aftershave is a very popular Father’s Day gift. Look for the kind with the little ship on the bottle that says “Cutty Sark.”

13) There are more collect calls on Father’s Day than any other day of the year. Usually from fathers who got too drunk at a strip club and need bail money.

14) Hallmark produces over 800 card designs for Father’s Day, none of which will bring your father the same joy as receiving a subscription to Playboy, since Hallmark Cards lack insightful articles.

15) Although some people say it’s hard to find the perfect Father’s Day gift, you’ll be safe if your gift either runs on electricity, burns, or explodes. Try not to combine these.

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Why are you still reading this? Go fetch the old man a beer, already.

Sheesh. You are SUCH a disappointment.

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5 Responses to “15 Fun Facts About Father’s Day”

  1. jw says:

    let me get this straight, frank j and sarahk had baby frank because frank j needs more crappy ties. did i get that right?

  2. Jimmy says:

    Crappy ties? Hey, I got a first-rate, graphite fishing rod and reel from #1 son. Woo hoo!

    Happy Dad’s Day to all of us Dads!

  3. Iowa Jim says:

    Look for the kind with the little ship on the bottle that says “Cutty Sark.”

    Absolutely perfect, Harvey. Well done!

  4. Anonymiss says:

    Happy Father’s Day!!!! Cookies to Harvey? Or would you prefer beer? Oh yeah. I don’t have any of that. Cookies or nothing.

  5. seanmahair says:

    Happy Fathers Day Weekend. We had Lemon Merengue Pie, Brownies, Chocolate Trifle for dessert.

    My daughters and I were discussing why we like to eat (because of course we spend so much time trying to take off said poundage) and I reminded them that the genes they carry are from people who spent much of the last millennia starving to death. Not only do we love food we love all kinds of food and the reasons we celebrate with food. So from all of us to all you fathers…………………. Thank you and Happy Fathers Day.

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