Anonymiss of Nuking Politics picked her favorite punchlines to “Because of the Shutdown, President Obama May Not Play Golf This Weekend. Instead…”
Click here to see if you made the cut.
By the way, Anonymiss did a Top 10 list over there. Feel free to get all judgey on it.
Just remember that she has a rolling pin that could take out a Sherman tank.
can of spams’s was my favorite as well.
Happy to be back in the winner’s circle, but that wasn’t my favorite submission of the ones I posted. My favorite was:
“… he’ll do something he’s actually below par at: his job.”
can of spam, sweetie, are you being contrary?
On a completely unrelated note, Harvey’s right about the size of my rolling pin. 🙂
Has it come down to a rolling pin size contest?
Not contrary at all. I just find it interesting that the one I like best isn’t the same as what other people chose. I was pretty happy with most of them, but that one and the “pitch, chip, and flop” lines just made me smile the most as I typed them.
(Decorum prohibits my witty comeback vis-a-vis “rolling pin”. Use your imagination instead.)
@4 It’s not the size, it’s what you do with it.
Of course, in my case, my rolling pin excels at both.
@6 well I hope you use it to make more cookies!
Just noticed, “Just remember that she has a rolling pin that could take out a Sherman tank.” So? They weren’t called Ronsons and Purple Heart machines for nothing. In fact few people know that the Panzerfaust used so effectively in WWII were just rocket-propelled Rolling pins.
@4 Oh boy.
You guys can make anything into insinuendo…
@5 I noticed y’all don’t seem to agree which of my lines is best, either 🙂
This judgin’ gig tougher than you thought? 😛
@9 That’s okay… you’re welcome to… er… “borrow” my rolling pin any time you want to do some cooking in the kitchen.
(And yes, it is a truism that guys can make ANYTHING sound dirty. It’s a gender-based talent and we love it.)
I love it when my Rolling Pin gets down in the dough, fer shizzle!
We’ve been asked to judge? Oh my! Let me go fetch hither my judicial accoutrements.
Well, since none of mine made the list, AHEM, *cough*cough*cough*AHEM. I think #1 is the best.
Whoa, someone is going to get the Aunt Jemima Treatment…
Anonymiss in the cookie kitchen…
Has it come down to a rolling pin size contest?
Mine has ridges (see lefse rolling pin, and get your mind out of the gutter)
I wonder if Donald Trump was concerned about the size of Hillary’s rolling pin?
Sheesh! All I did was mention “rolling pin”, and suddenly the June Cleaver fetishists come crawling out of the woodwork.
@13 – Wait… Anonymiss is an MP?
@16 Nope, Cleaver fetishism is something else.
I’m starting to think someone is trying to send a message making me number 2 all the time…
If you’re not first you’re last
New Plan:
Everyone suck tomorrow (like me) so Fangbeer can make Number One!!!!
[— going for cooperation cookies, which taste just as good. The Prisoner’s Dilemma.]
Yeah that’s what I need… Some affirmative straight line action to level the playing field with you racists. You all need to suck so that I can take my rightful minority place at the top.
…. Ummmmmm —
on re-reading that, I see that it could be,in some cases, possibly construed as an insult to Fangbeer.
I totally, sincerely apologize for that.
I did not mean it that way. A stupid way to phrase it. I meant, everybody submit gibberish. No comment on his comments was meant at all.
Geez I feel bad.
I hereby freely admit he has a higher humor/comment ratio than I do.
And I am not a crackpot!
Heh.
I know that your response was meant humorously, but please note that I was writing my apology while you were writing your entry….
Apologies aren’t funny. My climb to the top has begun!
Yeah. . .
So I was thinking, another apology might be unfunny and sort of Oppropriate . . . . D’oh!
Stop apologizing son, it’s a sign of weakness.
What if I bow?
It’s not like I’m the leader of the free world or anything like that . . . . .
In my country, bowing is a grave insult. Only an insensitive neanderthal conservative would bow.
You must show your respect by kneeling in a circle of pumpkin spice scented candles. The good ones, not the crappy ones you can get at the dollar store. We’re talking jars with lids here, folks. You will face your devotional photo of myself which has been framed with a wreath of pink orchids, and you will reverently sing the theme to Gilligan’s Island. Twice.
After that I might consider allowing you to post somewhat funny jokes. But only if the jokes are about Christians and their silly religious rituals.
Does that include the verse at the end of the show as well?
You’re G-D right it does.
What about this part?
Consistently making me #2, and now a slimy back handed post encouraging people to call me a liar in the devotional prayer circle?
You should stand in a corner and think about what you’ve done.
Ok. I’ll stand over here in the corner and judge the straight line.
Maybe you should stand in a corner and think about what *you’ve* done. 😉
Don’t blame me if you find a bunch of #2 in your corner…
I’m pretty sure I’ll be the one assigning the numbers, one of each from one to five.
I don’t think I’m the one who needs worry 🙂
What in the heck… 1 – 5? Maybe in some distant universe there’s an creature that numbers the gel that seeps from its ocular tubes #3, #4, and #5, but here on Earth we just have #1 and #2. #1 is considered a delectable soft drink by a freekazoid named Bear Grylls, and #2 is something you don’t want to find yourself standing in in a corner.
#2 is a Pariah. It’s poop, 2nd fiddle, 2nd banana, 2nd class citizen, 2nd count of DUI. You get my drift. These are the labels you give to the things you want to come behind the best things you label, like shapely butts, 1st fiddles, top bananas, 1st class a-holes, and #1 straight line winners.
Oh, I understood your reference, Fangbeer. I just chose to ignore it 😛
Okay, I give up this charade. I’m just disappointed that my straight line jump shot keeps bouncing around the rim and falling out. As Tupac says, “I ain’t even mad at cha” Just havin’ some fun.
I’ll make sure to be wearing my bride’s maid’s dress while writing up by next straight line, and maybe I can must another 2nd place.