Straight Line of the Day: Overheard During the State of the Union Speech…

Posted on January 29, 2014 12:00 pm

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

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40 Responses to “Straight Line of the Day: Overheard During the State of the Union Speech…”

  1. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    Anonymiss sleeps with the fishes.

  2. Steve H says:

    … was that an audience member was awake.
    … the theme from candy Crush (or better yet, The Moron Test)
    … Harry Reid’s “YMCA” ringtone

  3. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

  4. Steve H says:

    @1 – SAY IT ISN’T SO !!!
    (It would be nice to get her back to judge these things)

  5. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    the crushing of men’s souls and the lamentations of the women.

  6. walruskkkch says:

    @4 I blame her absence of judging on the Obama Administration.

  7. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    “Can you pass the Grey Poupon?”

  8. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    “[inaudible]the people and the [inaudible] the Constitution they rode in on!”

  9. Bob B says:

    …”We suck again!”

  10. Bob B says:

    …was some dander, a pander, self worth ever grander, the country adrift in a sea of meander…

  11. Oppo says:

    “Our ship of state continues to move forward, like the inbred cannibal rat ship!”

  12. Burt says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…
    ,,,”Why isn’t Willie Robinson doing the Response? I’d much prefer to listen to duck calls.”

  13. Burt says:

    @1, @4: Anony has been judging. She’s just doing it differently. If you read back thru the submissions for each day, you will find her comment toward the bottom. It’s good for you to look at the competition occasionally…I don’t know about you, but I find myself feeding off other’s comments.

  14. walruskkkch says:

    @13 Ain’t the same, just ain’t. And who sez all the comments ain’t a being read! My honor has been impugned sir, I say IMPUGNED! I demand satisfaction on the field of honor. Shall we say, “Pistols at dawn”?

  15. Mrs. C says:

    Drink!

    Bingo!

    The president’s a Nig____?!

    In the spirit of bi-partisanship, All the democrats will put their keys in this box . . .

  16. FormerHostage says:

    …an original idea. But it died of loneliness.

  17. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    “I promise to respect you in the morning, period.”

  18. FormerHostage says:

    …Jesus weeping.

  19. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    the tingling in Chrissie Matthews leg.

  20. Oppo says:

    … something about National Bocialism.

  21. Oppo says:

    …” And so, my fallow Americans, ask not what your country is doing to you.

    Period.”

  22. Oppo says:

    ” . . . That government ovah the people — buy the people and force the people — shall not perish from this earth.”

  23. @boston_bubba says:

    the spinning of the Founding Fathers in their graves.

  24. Steve H says:

    @14 – Indeed. I’d prefer a Grease-style drag race to win back your honor.

  25. Jimmy says:

    “Who is that idiot sitting behind him on the left?”

    “The guy behind him on the right appears to be brain dead.”

    “Who’s stinkin’ up the joint? Oh, That Guy.”

  26. c64wood says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    …the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way. (hat tip to Qui-Gon-Jinn)

    …I’ll be here all week. Try the fish.

    …Take my wife… Please

    …Obama u akbarr

  27. Bob in Feenicks says:

    …millions of people crying out in terror and then suddenly ceasing.

    …”So this is how democracy ends, with thunderous applause.”

    …”Looks like Joe is back on his happy pills.”

  28. walruskkkch says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    “I can’t believe they buy all this crapola, boy is America dumb! Is the mike on?”

  29. Tater Salad says:

    Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    “Hey, Biden, pull my finger…it won’t reek half as bad as his speech.”

  30. Writer says:

    …its no longer Bush’s fault-its the fault of Rush Limbaugh!

  31. Oppo says:

    “Pssst — check it out. Stockman snuck out.”
    “Fer real?”
    “When we get a real president back, you think the substitute will tell on him?”
    “Shhhh. He’s looking at us, and asking us to let him be clear.”

  32. Dohtimes says:

    …I got fired for making all the lies in his speech too obvious. Hell, he has 100 billion neurons in his skull that have never been fired and he would get thrown out of DC if he ever told the truth.

  33. Oppo says:

    [Imitating Lactose the Intolerant]
    Sen. 1: “Dude, fast forward. This is a rerun.”
    Sen. 2: “I can’t, man. This is live.”
    Sen. 1: “I’m totally going to pull a Joe Wilson.”
    Sen. 2: “No you’re not.”
    Sen. 1: “I know. You’re right. Why is that?”
    Sen. 2: ” ‘Cause we’re Congressmen. We’re total pusscakes, dude!”
    Sen. 1: “That’s true….”
    [/imitating Lactose the Intolerant]

  34. TerribleTroy says:

    Could you guys make it like pistols at 11:00 am? I mean dawn is just soo ungodly early… And also…(if its not asking too much) maybe you could spring for like a champagne brunch spread….. nothing better than a nice breakfast followed with a homocide..

  35. Burt says:

    …Where’s Alito? There are a lot of lines that need his comments and scowl.

  36. Bob B says:

    @All those who bemoan the modified participation of Anonymiss – Comedy is it’s own reward(judgeme) – you shouldn’t trouble yourself over the recent trend of judging events (judgeme)- Granted, Anonymiss is a brilliant and benevolent jurist, especially yesterday (thankyou), but one must enjoy the challenge of humorizing the bleak events of the day for their cathartic effect – anything else is a bonus (judgeme).

  37. c64wood says:

    So ya
    Thought ya
    Might like to
    Go to the show.
    To feel that warm thrill of confusion,
    That space cadet glow.
    I’ve got some bad news for you sunshine,
    Pink isn’t well, he stayed back at the hotel
    And they sent us along as a surrogate band
    We’re gonna find out where you folks really stand.

    Are there any queers in the theater tonight?
    Get them up against the wall!
    There’s one in the spotlight, he don’t look right to me,
    Get him up against the wall!
    That one looks Jewish!
    And that one’s a coon!
    Who let all of this riff-raff into the room?
    There’s one smoking a joint,
    And another with spots!
    If I had my way,
    I’d have all of you shot!

  38. rodney dill says:

    “I really believe in the Imperial Presidency… and I think Obama is the Error Apparent.”

  39. Karen says:

    … Very little from Joe Biden, who was told it was the STFU address.

    … And as for your insurance… I’m altering the deal, pray I don’t alter it any further.

  40. can of spam says:

    @6: Which the Obama Administration immediately blamed on the Bush Administration

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