Straight Line of the Day: Overheard During the State of the Union Speech…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

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  1. @1, @4: Anony has been judging. She’s just doing it differently. If you read back thru the submissions for each day, you will find her comment toward the bottom. It’s good for you to look at the competition occasionally…I don’t know about you, but I find myself feeding off other’s comments.

  2. @13 Ain’t the same, just ain’t. And who sez all the comments ain’t a being read! My honor has been impugned sir, I say IMPUGNED! I demand satisfaction on the field of honor. Shall we say, “Pistols at dawn”?

  3. Overheard during the State of the Union speech…

    …the sound of a thousand terrible things headed this way. (hat tip to Qui-Gon-Jinn)

    …I’ll be here all week. Try the fish.

    …Take my wife… Please

    …Obama u akbarr

  4. …millions of people crying out in terror and then suddenly ceasing.

    …”So this is how democracy ends, with thunderous applause.”

    …”Looks like Joe is back on his happy pills.”

  5. “Pssst — check it out. Stockman snuck out.”
    “Fer real?”
    “When we get a real president back, you think the substitute will tell on him?”
    “Shhhh. He’s looking at us, and asking us to let him be clear.”

  6. …I got fired for making all the lies in his speech too obvious. Hell, he has 100 billion neurons in his skull that have never been fired and he would get thrown out of DC if he ever told the truth.

  7. [Imitating Lactose the Intolerant]
    Sen. 1: “Dude, fast forward. This is a rerun.”
    Sen. 2: “I can’t, man. This is live.”
    Sen. 1: “I’m totally going to pull a Joe Wilson.”
    Sen. 2: “No you’re not.”
    Sen. 1: “I know. You’re right. Why is that?”
    Sen. 2: ” ‘Cause we’re Congressmen. We’re total pusscakes, dude!”
    Sen. 1: “That’s true….”
    [/imitating Lactose the Intolerant]

  8. Could you guys make it like pistols at 11:00 am? I mean dawn is just soo ungodly early… And also…(if its not asking too much) maybe you could spring for like a champagne brunch spread….. nothing better than a nice breakfast followed with a homocide..

  9. @All those who bemoan the modified participation of Anonymiss – Comedy is it’s own reward(judgeme) – you shouldn’t trouble yourself over the recent trend of judging events (judgeme)- Granted, Anonymiss is a brilliant and benevolent jurist, especially yesterday (thankyou), but one must enjoy the challenge of humorizing the bleak events of the day for their cathartic effect – anything else is a bonus (judgeme).

  10. So ya
    Thought ya
    Might like to
    Go to the show.
    To feel that warm thrill of confusion,
    That space cadet glow.
    I’ve got some bad news for you sunshine,
    Pink isn’t well, he stayed back at the hotel
    And they sent us along as a surrogate band
    We’re gonna find out where you folks really stand.

    Are there any queers in the theater tonight?
    Get them up against the wall!
    There’s one in the spotlight, he don’t look right to me,
    Get him up against the wall!
    That one looks Jewish!
    And that one’s a coon!
    Who let all of this riff-raff into the room?
    There’s one smoking a joint,
    And another with spots!
    If I had my way,
    I’d have all of you shot!


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