33 Comments

  1. Advertisements for the event contained a typo. People thought they were buying tickets to see George Clinton.

    That’s after converting to Zimbabwean dollars.

    It includes generous donations from several Nigerian princes

  2. ** Shadow puppet show with the real personages doing the voices.
    ** She advertised Free Admission, but it was $1,000 to get out-the-doors and Bill’s Secret Service Team spent the entire time publicly cleaning their Mini-Uzis, at the exits.
    ** She sold Selfies of her assistant Huma’s hubbie [Weiner] to any old bag who asked for them plus, they had-to use the secret password. {Orgasm}

  3. …she threatened to unleash Bill on their daughters and wives.

    …they reminded the donors that Vince Foster ‘regretted’ not donating enough to Bill’s campaign and wanted to make sure they didn’t make the same ‘regrettable’ mistake.

    …So, some guys went out for a walk one night and decided to donate a bunch of money to her campaign. At this point, what difference does it make?

  4. Hillary Clinton raked in a record $2.1 million in one fundraiser. How did she do it?

    – By selling a sh!tload of Thin Mints to Rosie O’Donnell.

    – With a leaf blower. (“Raked in” … get it? Screw it, I guess lawn care humor is a visual art)

    – By repeatedly performing the Balkan Bullet Dodging trick at the Texas State Fair.

    – Selling waivers from Obamacare 2018, aka HillaryCare 2.0

    – Auctioned off the Secret Service surveillance videos of Bill and Monica.

    -By promising to never, ever make that maniacal laughing sound again.

  5. …$5 at a time sir, $5 at a time

    …by sales of her “Monica blew my husband and all I got was this t-shirt” merchandise

    …by taking in 6.7 Million of democratic fools money, and “misfiling” 4.6 million into a separate account labeled “keeping people silent”

    …by cashing the check from the CDC. Now we know why they can only look at sandwiches instead of diseases

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