Some guy didn’t believe that Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon and asked him to swear on the Bible that he was there, and Buzz was like, “Swear on this, bitch!” and popped him one right in the face, God bless him (link thanks to Best of the Web). You ever seen one of those Saturn V rockets? That has to be the most complex thing man ever made, but American ingenuity was able to make it work and got the courageous Buzz and Neil on the moon to put our flag on it and claim it as American property, just as God intended it. Now, any foreign movie that uses a full moon as a romantic back-drop has to pay us royalties.

Buzz didn’t just punch that guy for his own honor, but for the honor of our entire nation. He’s a true American hero.