Since Hitchens left, I only read The Nation for chuckles, but this is actually an intelligently written article about racial issues that not very ideological… for The Nation.
Tim Blair has good old fashioned jokes. Yay jokes!
John Hawkins had a blogger symposium yesterday on the important issues of the day. He should have a blogger symposium on humor with people like me, Laurence Simon, Fritz, and damn you Scrappleface. That would be a great idea.
Finally, if you want a story, Acidman has one to tell. Well, actually, he’s got a few, and that’s one of them.
Archive of entries posted on 3rd June 2003
Frank Answers: Testing Space Travel, Palestinians vs. Cockroaches, and God on the Eighth Day
Martin from Mississippi asks:
If humans are sooo smart, how did monkeys, dogs, and communists achieve space flight before the first human?
Space travel is one of the greatest of human endeavors, but it is an extremely dangerous pursuit. Early on, we weren’t sure how zero gravity would affect a living creature. Why, it might cause someone’s guts to spew out their ears for all we knew. Human life is precious, so we couldn’t just go haphazardly into space without first knowing what would happen. Thus we waited to see space’s effects on monkeys, dogs, and communists (with special interest on the monkey, since it was closest to human) before sending the first human, Alan Shepard, into space.
Jason Hannemann from Austin, Texas asks:
Can cockroaches be considered better than “Palestinians” because they are actually willing to live with Jews?
And then asks:
Will that question be considered too “mean” for you to use?
Sorry, that question is way too mean. My guess is that if cockroaches had the ability to bomb children, they would then hold parades and celebrate afterwards as well. That makes Palestinians who support terrorism at least as good as cockroaches.
Brian Medcalf from Keller, TX writes:
God created the world in six days. On the seventh day, he rested. What did he do on day eight?
Started smite’n. Every play Sim City? After you finally build up an entire city, what’s left to do but then click that little tab to start Godzilla stomping through town? You build, then you destroy. Of course, I’m assuming that God is just like me, which seems a reasonable assumption.
Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.
Heh Heh, Bulldozers Are Cool
Bush is in Egypt today to talk peace between the Israelis and the Palestinians. Me, I’m not as patient as the Israelis and would have long ago gotten together a bunch of “Corrie Crushers” and flattened all the Palestinian buildings, but I guess the Israelis want to be nicer and so be it. I just hope Bush takes a hard-line, standing up at the beginning and saying, “See my roadmap? Notice how all the roads lead to saturation bombing if you f**k with me.”
Anyway, there have been a number of hold-ups to peace talks. Here are the worst of them:
TOP TEN HOLD-UPS TO MIDDLE EAST PEACE TALKS
10. Bush mistook the traditional Muslim garb as people wearing sheets, and came dressed for a toga party.
9. It’s hard for the Palestinians to give up Jew-hating, as it’s their favorite pastime and spectator sport, followed far far behind by touch football.
8. The Palestinians will only recognize Israel’s right to exist if Israel recognizes their right to kill Jews.
7. Bush kept interrupting Sharon while he was speaking, asking, “I don’t get it; why don’t you just bomb them all?”
6. The Muslim kept to their usual tradition of five times a day facing Israel, shaking their fists, and yelling, “The Jews!!”
5. Arafat wasn’t supposed to attend, but all the baby wipes were mysteriously missing.
4. Because of their clothing, Bush mistook a number of Muslim wives in attendance for ninjas and kung fu fought them. He lost.
3. Palestinians kept demanding that they could still do one annual suicide bombing so they could remember the good times.
2. Bush kept insisting everyone try his pork-ribs he ordered for dinner.
And the number one hold-up to Middle East peace talks…
The meetings were cut short when the building was destroyed by Israeli bulldozers.