As I announced yesterday, Nuke the Moon t-shirts are now printed and ready to ship.
If you are a regular reader of this site and have never read the peace treatise “Nuke the Moon”, do so now. NOW!
I know you want to show your support for world peace and for this website, and there is no better way that buying one of these t-shirts. And think of the interesting conversations you’ll have when wearing this shirt.
“Nuke the moon? But why?”
“For world peace!”
“How would that lead to world peace?”
“How wouldn’t it? Now get out of my way before I punch you, hippy.”
And, to be clear, I don’t want to actually destroy the moon as some people who like the moon have mistakenly thought, I just want to have a nice light show to scare our enemies and put yet another crater in the big rock. We have the full right to do so; our flag is on the moon so we own it and can do what we want with it.
Anyway, what I want to start is a “Peace Gallery”. People can send in pictures of themselves wearing the t-shirt and displaying their peace tools (known as weapons to layman). Whether it be a rifle, shotgun, handgun, buck knife, sharpened screwdriver, ax handle, or just martial art skilz, show it off with your t-shirt and send me the picture with your name and website URL (if you have one) and be immortalized in the Peace Gallery. Or, if you’re shy, wear a ski or hockey mask and give some scary sounding pseudonym; that’s cool too. Eventually, we’ll have a big gallery showing how many people there are who are ready for the excessive violence that peace entails.
So buy t-shirts! Now!
“But I want a free t-shirt!” you probably whine.
Fine, you win. There will be a contest for a free t-shirt. I’ve grown tired of the current subtitle to my site (“…political musings of a dumb smart guy”) and want a brand new one. Thus, there will be a contest to make a new subtitle for IMAO, with the prize being your very own Nuke the Moon t-shirt. So <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace on the banner.*
So tell everybody about these t-shirts and make them a success. Then, in the future, there can be more IMAO merchandise such as an Enrage Me Rumsfeld doll (you tickle him, then he attacks you violently while yelling, “Rarr!”) and a Buck the Marine action figure (foreigners for killing sold separately). Eventually, maybe IMAO can be a successful business… or a whole conglomerate. And then I’ll be rich and be able to step on the little people. Crunch, crunch go the little people as I step on them. Muh ha ha ha!
Well, I’m getting ahead of myself. As soon as I get my t-shirts, I’ll be the first to post some pictures of me with my favorite tools for peace (and this time I’ll get a friend with a good camera to take the pictures).
Now start thinking of a new site subtitle, and, if you can’t think of one, just buy the shirt.
Can’t wait for shirts… Can’t wait for shirts…
* Contest is not open to IMAO employees (damn, I had a great idea) or their immediate family (that’s means you, Joe and Sarah) or any former girlfriends of said employees. Contest is void where prohibited, whatever that means. If you’re in one of those weird contest prohibiting zones, tell me about it; I’m curious.
Pick mine! Pick mine!!
IMAO
…I’m Mao.
…Admiring the violent since ______
Must be e-mailed to be considered.
Without rules, there would be chaos and looting and shooting.
Sheesh, Frank, you don’t want people to have ANY fun!
Fun is not allowed at IMAO.
Actually, I just thought of the idea of having to weed out tons of entries from my comments section would not be fun for me.
We can have chaos and shooting later, though, if everyone wants it.
Cold Fury set the bar very very high with “Harshing Your Mellow Since 9/01”.
Don’t know if my suggestion comes close but I hope Frank likes it.
I look forward to next Wednesday when the poll comes out!
Hurray! Chaos and shooting and looting…..all the favorite pasttimes of the VRWC!!!! Thanks, Frank!
I want my chaos and shooting and looting NOW!!!!!
Anyone ever seen the 1998 “Mr. Show” routine on blowing up the moon? It even had, presciently, 2 Toby Keith-style songs performed by Bob Odenkirk.
Frank, is a nails chisel a weapon ?
Frank, is a nails chisel a weapon ?
If used properly…
I do not know any weapon which can be use properly.
Here’s one for the Peace Gallery. How could it be complete without this crew?
Apparently Glenn just likes to bash people over the head with library books…
If I can’t get an actual endorsement from him, I’ll just make one up 🙂
Is it a mere coincidence that Kim is aiming at his wife?
Now, Doug, don’t turn the du Toits against me; I’m sure they’re more well armed than I am.
I just bought a T-shirt, yay!
I guess I’ll HAVE to enter the contest anyways, because my sister will want one.
Now Get Those Damn Nukes Ready!
Ever felt like nuking something or somebody? Of course you have. Well, now’s the time to make that sentiment known…
Ok, a picture with no caption. How about naming names? Sheesh. I can tell YOU were never on the yearbook committee.
Proposed subtitles:
Kumbiyah My Ass.
Consensus through annihilation.
Cry Havoc ! and let slip the monkeys of war
The monkeys made me do it.
Victory through superior firepower.
You know you like it.
Suggested subtitle:
“…lavishly unconventional with primal tendencies”