This is it, the final group…
Group F!
Meet the Bloggers
The name of my site is: Blather Review.
My preferred name as a blogger is: Tuning Spork
I’ve been blogging since February 2003.
A brief description of my site: Some politics, some law , some recipes, some laughs, some mp3s of my crappy songs… whatever, no big whoop!
Briefly praise FrankJ and IMAO…hmmm….FrankJ is a satirist’s satirist! The characters ring so true it’s scary, I tells ya, scary!!
My favorite movie is….hmmm…I’ll have to say….JAWS.
The Simpsons character I most identify with: Frank Grimes.
What is the name of your site? Jennifer’s History and Stuff.
What is your preferred name as a blogger? Jennifer, but since that is so common, JenLars works. J. La! (ick)
How long have you been blogging? Since July 1, 2003.
Give a brief description of your site. I share little historical tidbits and assorted miscellany. Basically, I just try to make history a little more interesting and impart my enthusiasm for learning.
Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post. Frank J. is quite obviously an intelligent, handsome young man. Any single lady would be lucky to wait at home (with a dog) for Frank at the end of the day. He’s available, ladies! IMAO is always an enjoyable read. My favorite post used to be the Brief History of Canada, but now it is anything with Chomps the U.N. Peacekeeper.
What’s your favorite movie? Tough one, it’s very hard to name just one movie. Today I’ll pick “The Right Stuff.”
Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? I prefer to identify with a South Park character, since all the good Simpsons characters have been chosen. I relate to Cartman’s mom, who is a crack whore. I am not a crack whore, but I am a link whore.
What is the name of your site? One Little Victory
What is your preferred name as a blogger? Analog Mouse, or just Mouse or am will do.
How long have you been blogging? Since May 9, 2003
Give a brief description of your site. Ranting and raving on my blog so my friends and family don’t have to listen to me bitch.
Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post. Frank J. is so great that a permalink on Instapundit would be an insult. My favorite is In My World: Reading to Underprivileged Kids.
What’s your favorite movie? The Quiet Man.
Which Simpsons character do you most identify with? Marge, definitely. But not normal, everyday marge. More like Marge when she stopped her car in the middle of traffic, or Marge when she was a gambling addict.
1) Site name: Bad Money
2) Preferred Name: Harvey
3) Blogging since: June 21, 2003 (counting the 8 miserable days on Blogspot)
4) Brief site description: Well-captioned graffiti currency and amusingly-phrased commentary.
5a) Praise for Frank J & IMAO: As a rule, written humor will NOT make me laugh out loud. 3 major exceptions: P.J. O’Rourke, James Lileks, and Frank J. – Hmmm. I wonder if the letter J has anything to do with it?
5b) Favorite post: “In My World: The Hunt for the Rumsfeld Strangler“. I TRIED not to laugh out loud at this one, I really did. I succeeded only in rupturing my spleen and coating my keyboard with a fine mist of nose-filtered coffee.
6) Favorite movie: “The Princess Bride“. Besides having the best-choreographed sword fight in cinematic history, it is quotable to nth degree. I, myself, have successfully used the line “I do not think that word means what you think it means” on a number of occasions. [Ed. Gah! I forgot to put that one on my list of favorite movies I gave to John Hawkins.]
7) Simpsons character I most identify with: Monty Burns. Despite being black-heartedly evil, he’s a shrewd and savvy business man who knows how to turn a profit. Not to mention that Li’l Lisa’s Patented Animal Slurry is one damn fine product.
-What is the name of your site?
Kaedrin
-What is your preferred name as a blogger?
Mark
-How long have you been blogging?
Just over 3 years. Yes, years.
-Give a brief description of your site.
The blog covers political issues lately, but also focuses on culture, movies, and technology. My site also has book & movie reviews and a host of other schtuff.
-Briefly praise Frank J. and IMAO. Name favorite post.
IMAO is genuinely and consistently funny, and it has been for quite some time now (even getting better as it goes), which is quite rare these days. Something you’ll notice in the answer to this question and the next two are that I have great difficulty choosing a favorite anything, so bear with me. My favorite posts are the In My World posts, because they are funny (natch) and because whenever you write Bush, I picture Will Ferrell delivering the lines. Funniest line Frank has written lately: “If a North Korean bites you, you become one.” Classic.
-What’s your favorite movie?
2001: A Space Odyssey or The Godfather or Seven Samurai or Das Boot… I could go on all day with these…
-Which Simpsons character do you most identify with?
Herman, the military antiques guy. Pet Peeve: Pacifists.
Right of Center did not get a response in on time.
Here are the answers to the question in random order (revealing who wrote which is means for disqualification):
QUESTION: You are on your way somewhere, but a group of hippies incoherently protesting something blocks your way. In 200 words ot less, what is the best way to handle this situation?
ANSWER 1: When the hippies are basking in their smelly glory about how many protesters are there, tell them that the only reason no one is there supporting the other side is that they are all busy WORKING FOR A LIVING! Then ask the hippies if they have jobs. They will look at their shoes and quietly walk away. (I’ve seen this done. It really works!)
ANSWER 2: The obvious answer would be to simply savage them with my gas-guzzling SUV, but I should probably be more creative. I would sneak around the crowd, obtain their email addresses then send Frank J. a harassing email lecturing him on grammar. Then I would pull up a chair and watch the ensuing chaos (chances are, watching hippies die slow, horrible, painful deaths at the hands of a samurai sword wielding engineer would be more entertaining than anything I was going to attend anyway)
ANSWER 3: I actually encountered this situation once. All I wanted to do was cross the street, but the road was jammed with retarded lefties blathering gibberish like, “Free Mumia For Oil”, “No Blood For Peace”, and “Bush Lied, Babies Died, I’ll Have Tofu On The Side”, or something like that.
I suppressed my rage until I saw the “Bush = Puppy Blender” sign, then something inside me snapped. “That’s all I can stands, I can’t stands no more!” I cried, reaching over to a nearby organic foods vending cart, grabbing a handful of spinach, and shoving it down my throat.
Somewhere nearby, a Phish-smelling band inexplicably started playing a modified hornpipe, as animated battleship tattoos magically appeared on my biceps and started firing live shells into the fetid assembly. I waded through the crowd, my bulgy forearms windmilling madly as the Phish-smellers segued into a quick-tempo Yankee Doodle.
Filthy hippies flew in all directions, landing in comical pretzel-piles, with their stupid-slogan signs jammed in previously functional orifices.
Covered in patchouli-befouled blood, I reached the other side and burst into song:
“I’m strong to the finish
(here’s a buck for your spinach)
Don’t F*** with the sailor man!”
TOOT! TOOT!
ANSWER 4: One word: soap. Soap is a well-known hippie repellant. If you carry a bar of soap with you at all times, you can wave it at any hippies you come across and they will part like the Red Sea.
ANSWER 5: I’d cover myself from head to toe in a soapy lather; the hippies would part like the Red Sea as I strolled merrily on through.
Great answers, but only one shall win and go on to the final round next week.
PLACE YOUR BETS NOW!
POLL CLOSED (results here)
Poll closes in 24 hours. Then all the finalists will be known, and what will be left is the thrilling conclusion next week.