So John Kerry won the Iowa Caca… but I want Dean! He has so much more humor potential (who wants more Howie and Skeeter?) and was supposed to have a lock on the nomination. Well, it’s not over yet; everyone get out there and support angry man Dean. Plus, if he doesn’t win the nom, he could hurt someone. Did you see his “concession” speech (a.k.a. “Look how quickly I came name all fifty states and then squeal”)? He totally like freaked out, dude. I hope his back is okay.
UPDATE: The video of Howard Dean freaking out is here. Can someone get me a .wav file of just that squeal at the end?
As for Bush’s State of the Union address tonight, I think a lot of my previous advice still applies. What I also think he should do is threaten the Democrats who are planning on challenging him by saying, “And I will beat anyone who opposes me just like I beat Saddam.” Then he should have Saddam appear on stage so he could savagely beat him to a standing ovation since. This will be good for him because people will think beating up Saddam is cool, and it will associate the Democrats with Saddam whom everyone hates (or at least I do; I have to stop thinking everyone shares the same opinion as me. Some people are too dumb to think like me).
I got an e-mail from Democrats.com that they are going to start to try and impeach Bush. There logic being that the deaths in Iraq has now passed 500, and that is a nice round number so Bush should be impeached. What a bunch of dinguses. I think we should start a movement to impeach all Democrats because I hate them. Also supporting the articles of impeachment could be the fact that they smell.
So many people seem to hate the Patriot Act. I keep hearing how it’s a shredding of our rights, but, since the Senate vote was 98-1, at least it’s a bipartisan shredding. But the only thing I’ve been convinced is Orwellian about the Patriot Act is its name; come on, you could name anything the Patriot Act. I bet there would be less controversy if it was just named something apt like the “Let’s be Mean to Terrorists” Act, “Reactionary Increase of Surveillance” Act, or “Man, Are Some People Going to Whine About This” Act.
A number of readers (well, two) sent me this information: Singapore is urging its citizens to act like monkeys! The vast monkey influence spreads. I knew it wouldn’t stop at simple monkey tolerance; they won’t rest until we are all like them… or dead. Well, here’s one man who won’t act like a monkey. Everyone help me make a stand and boycott Chiquita.
Well, I’s busy so that’s it for now. I will have an In My World™ for tomorrow, though. Any requests?
I sent in a question to Frank Answers the other day…..it was about Automatic Weapons and Rap music….I hope to be seeing my name in lights here REAL soon. I just forgot to use my Pseudoname (Evil Midnight Poster).
I hope Dean kicks Catsup-Boy’s butt…..Howard Dean is funny, he makes me laugh.
I’m not real sure that the President should beat Saddam on stage tonight. It would be nice to see Saddam beaten at the State of the Union Speech but it might be more decourous to have the President delegate someone else do it. Laura, Ms. Rice, Rumsfield, Scott? Any ideas?
New TV commercial
“HI, my name WAS howard dean, and after losing the iowa caucus I felt depressed, lonely and betrayed thats why I now use PAXIL”
PAXIL for when all your socialist dreams come crashing down!
As a public service to make the SOTU tonight more bearable for Repubs who think Bush is kicking ass but partying too hard with our money and inviting strangers to the party; or Dems who can’t believe that they lost (yes, you lost – it wasn’t stolen or given to him by SCOTUS) to this fool:
“http://www.drinkinggame.us”
Surely it was obvious that the Democrats would pick people named “John”. Remember, they are awaiting the Second Coming of Kennedy.
It is also amazing that people complain about the Patriot Act but haven’t once complained about the You Didn’t See This So Go On About Your Business Act.
You can’t really want to impeach all Democrats, can you?
Then who will you have fun to make fun of? Communism is more or less dead (sorry Buck, I know how you loved killin’ Commies) and nobody takes the hippies or the Green Party or Pat Buchanon seriously.
Maybe the In My World could be about the rouge voting machines like the ones in florida. They could try and kill people HAL-style, and we could send in RoboPatton:
“I want to vote for Dean”
“I’m sorry, Dave, but I can’t allow you to do that.”
I don’t know if a debate between Bush and Dean is such a good idea. After Bush starts humilating Dean, then Dean will go apeshit again and the Secret Service will have no choice but to shoot him.
Oh, please let the debate be live on national TV. Bring the popcorn.
I HOPE they try to impeach Bush. It’s almost as if they’ve decided they aren’t electorally poisonous enough, and they want to add another dose of cyanide to the mix. Is their historical memory really so short that they don’t remember what happened to the Republicans when they tried the impeachment bit?
If the Dems were smart they would give up their opposition to human cloning, and then try to steal a DNA sample of Karl Rove. A Rove-clone would sort these chuckleheads out.
In that clip of Dean doing his Ric Flair imitation after he ran out of states he could remember, what were all those things the crowd was waving around? I know it couldn’t have been flags, since they hate ’em unless they have a picture of Marx superimposed on it.
Maybe they had one of the stars missing, and every time they lose a state they’ll take one off. Think of the pretty blue background in November.
You guys are just insane. Dean isn’t the devil.. it’s just that the Iraq war was a good idea, fundamentally. However, running $1.5 trillion deficits (over a 10 year period — the numbers are from Bush’s own OMB) is a bad idea. Remember how Republicans used to want a balanced budget ammendment to the constitution, when they weren’t in power? All of the sudden that’s changed. Yes, tax cuts are good, but cutting them by 1.5 trillion while spending tons more in discresionary spending (i.e. not social security, medicare, homeland security or the millitary) is a horrible idea. Thus, we need somone who was calling for Saddamn Hussain’s death and the Invasion of Iraq at the same time that Dick Cheney and his company, Halliburton, were lobbying not for war with Iraq, but for a complete lifting of all sanctions on Iraq, as well as Iran and Lybia. Who’s that someone? Joe Lieberman, who called for an invasion of Iraq at least as early as 1995. I’m not inclined to trust an administration whose secretary of defence shook Saddam’s hand giddily (Rumsfeld in December, 1983), and whose VP argued for letting an anti-US tyrant off the hook because it benefitted his company. We need somone who has a long record of wanting Iraq invaded and Saddam dead — Joe Lieberman. And as a plus, he won’t spend money like that drunken sailor who’s our president, nor will he care more about tax cuts for the rich than spending money on homeland security. (remember Bush’s plan to get rid of all air marshalls because we supposedly didn’t have the money? — I do. If we’ve got money for huge tax cuts, surely we’ve got money to prevent islamo-fascist attacks on American citizens). So get out of your shell — go vote for the anti-Dean, first in the primary, then against Bush. That is, if you really care about attacking countries that hate the U.S.
If you can wave your magic wand and make Joe 1st in the polls in New Hampshire, maybe he’ll have a chance. Until then, a spot-on impression of “Mr Roboto” is all he’s got.
I sent in a question to Frank Answers the other day…..it was about Automatic Weapons and Rap music….I hope to be seeing my name in lights here REAL soon. I just forgot to use my Pseudoname (Evil Midnight Poster).
I hope Dean kicks Catsup-Boy’s butt…..Howard Dean is funny, he makes me laugh.
ooooo, just thought of something for In My World….why not have a gues appearance of Dick Marcinko…..he rocks.
Do you realize that on the Chinese calendar, 2004 is the year of the Monkey. AHHHHHHHHHHHH
We all know that, dude.
There’s an MP3 of the whole Dean-going-nuts part of the speech here.
Okay, your comments page is fubar with respect to hyperlink tags. It’s http://www.drudgereport.com/dean.mp3. And yes, it includes the squeal.
I’m not real sure that the President should beat Saddam on stage tonight. It would be nice to see Saddam beaten at the State of the Union Speech but it might be more decourous to have the President delegate someone else do it. Laura, Ms. Rice, Rumsfield, Scott? Any ideas?
You’re foobar.
Try using preview in the future; you forgot the quotes around the hyperlink and I fixed it for you. Now apologize to the comments page.
New TV commercial
“HI, my name WAS howard dean, and after losing the iowa caucus I felt depressed, lonely and betrayed thats why I now use PAXIL”
PAXIL for when all your socialist dreams come crashing down!
The radio station here is running that clip, followed immediately by a clip of pro wrestler Ric Flair. I think the two are one in the same.
yes, why should we be worried about a law that lets the government do whatever they want?
hmmm…I wonder.
Whatever they want? Like, can they go to the local supermarket and take all the candy. That would be cool!
“I will have an In My World for tomorrow, though. Any requests?”
Well, after the PSA, how’s ’bout some Chomps eating an Ewok?
As a public service to make the SOTU tonight more bearable for Repubs who think Bush is kicking ass but partying too hard with our money and inviting strangers to the party; or Dems who can’t believe that they lost (yes, you lost – it wasn’t stolen or given to him by SCOTUS) to this fool:
“http://www.drinkinggame.us”
Can we have a debate between dean and Bush? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASE????
Surely it was obvious that the Democrats would pick people named “John”. Remember, they are awaiting the Second Coming of Kennedy.
It is also amazing that people complain about the Patriot Act but haven’t once complained about the You Didn’t See This So Go On About Your Business Act.
You can’t really want to impeach all Democrats, can you?
Then who will you have fun to make fun of? Communism is more or less dead (sorry Buck, I know how you loved killin’ Commies) and nobody takes the hippies or the Green Party or Pat Buchanon seriously.
Maybe the In My World could be about the rouge voting machines like the ones in florida. They could try and kill people HAL-style, and we could send in RoboPatton:
“I want to vote for Dean”
“I’m sorry, Dave, but I can’t allow you to do that.”
Don’t know about that ‘waaaaaah’ bit, but here is a great disco track:
http://right-magazine.com/dean_goes_nuts_remix.mp3
http://www.geocities.com/shutuphowarddean/
MP3 Files of Dean’s rants. I’m thinking you’re smart enough to clip the squeal.
Howard Dean is pure entertainment gold.
Once he loses this president thing, Dean can go on the road with Wrestlemania…I can hear him introducing the wrestlers now…eeeYahhh!
ooooooooo……
A debate between Dean and Bush sounds good… with Dean possibly getting knocked out by Condi after he loses control of himself…yes?
I think he might have said Ohio twice.
Just the squeal:
http://www.bravetomorrow.com/sounds/deanyeah.wav
I don’t know if a debate between Bush and Dean is such a good idea. After Bush starts humilating Dean, then Dean will go apeshit again and the Secret Service will have no choice but to shoot him.
Oh, please let the debate be live on national TV. Bring the popcorn.
I HOPE they try to impeach Bush. It’s almost as if they’ve decided they aren’t electorally poisonous enough, and they want to add another dose of cyanide to the mix. Is their historical memory really so short that they don’t remember what happened to the Republicans when they tried the impeachment bit?
If the Dems were smart they would give up their opposition to human cloning, and then try to steal a DNA sample of Karl Rove. A Rove-clone would sort these chuckleheads out.
a liberal rove-clone..?
fawk, d00d… that’s going keep me awake at night know that such evil could be conceived, let alone made possible…
In that clip of Dean doing his Ric Flair imitation after he ran out of states he could remember, what were all those things the crowd was waving around? I know it couldn’t have been flags, since they hate ’em unless they have a picture of Marx superimposed on it.
Maybe they had one of the stars missing, and every time they lose a state they’ll take one off. Think of the pretty blue background in November.
I’ve got the Squeal .Wav if you want it…
“YAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!”
Howie Deans new sampaign Sloagn…
I’d like an In My World of Howie giving the dem response to the SOTU.
You guys are just insane. Dean isn’t the devil.. it’s just that the Iraq war was a good idea, fundamentally. However, running $1.5 trillion deficits (over a 10 year period — the numbers are from Bush’s own OMB) is a bad idea. Remember how Republicans used to want a balanced budget ammendment to the constitution, when they weren’t in power? All of the sudden that’s changed. Yes, tax cuts are good, but cutting them by 1.5 trillion while spending tons more in discresionary spending (i.e. not social security, medicare, homeland security or the millitary) is a horrible idea. Thus, we need somone who was calling for Saddamn Hussain’s death and the Invasion of Iraq at the same time that Dick Cheney and his company, Halliburton, were lobbying not for war with Iraq, but for a complete lifting of all sanctions on Iraq, as well as Iran and Lybia. Who’s that someone? Joe Lieberman, who called for an invasion of Iraq at least as early as 1995. I’m not inclined to trust an administration whose secretary of defence shook Saddam’s hand giddily (Rumsfeld in December, 1983), and whose VP argued for letting an anti-US tyrant off the hook because it benefitted his company. We need somone who has a long record of wanting Iraq invaded and Saddam dead — Joe Lieberman. And as a plus, he won’t spend money like that drunken sailor who’s our president, nor will he care more about tax cuts for the rich than spending money on homeland security. (remember Bush’s plan to get rid of all air marshalls because we supposedly didn’t have the money? — I do. If we’ve got money for huge tax cuts, surely we’ve got money to prevent islamo-fascist attacks on American citizens). So get out of your shell — go vote for the anti-Dean, first in the primary, then against Bush. That is, if you really care about attacking countries that hate the U.S.
If you can wave your magic wand and make Joe 1st in the polls in New Hampshire, maybe he’ll have a chance. Until then, a spot-on impression of “Mr Roboto” is all he’s got.
just testing plz dont mind