The Universal Democratic Underground Thread

I don’t think there is a single blog out there I read that hasn’t at least once linked to Democratic Underground’s Forum. The place is like a train wreck of human thought; you just can’t help but gawk at their twisted logic and wild-eyed conspiracy theories. I’ve even ended up becoming addicted to the site; anytime there is breaking news, I think, “I wonder what the nuts are saying about this,” and head straight for DU. It’s like a daily freak show. Yet, I’ve begun to tire of it, and I realized why. In the end, it’s really just the same thing over and over. After careful analysis (two minutes thought), I think I broke down all the variance of opinion you’ll ever see on DU and put into one imitated thread. They will often go on longer than this, but then it’s a lot of the same posts being made over and over by other people.
Well, without further ado, here is the…
UNIVERSAL DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND THREAD

muck4d00
[News Headline]

[Excerpt of article about military issue, political issue, man-made event, natural occurence, or… well… anything followed by link to entire article]
Looks suspicious to me.


[Index of response titles]

8lame8ush
1. Obvious ploy

It’s obvious that Karl Rove is behind this. How this happened on [whatever the date is] is just too convenient in timing, especially considering that [Bush’s poll number’s are up/Bush’s poll numbers are down/Bush’s poll numbers are neutral/it’s raining in Antigua].


Th!nkH3sFunny
2. Treat for Bush*

I bet Karl Rove is giving Chimpy a banana over this one.


muck4d00
3. LOL!

Though your humor was blunt and inept, I will praise you for it, Th!nkH3sFunny, and pretend I laughed since it goes along with my own prejudices.


halfempty
4. Nothing we can do

This just make me feel so depressed. There is nothing Bush* and the neo-cons won’t do to keep power and wage war. Remember, these are the same people who rigged an election, killed Carnahan and Wellstone, and stole my bong. They’re going to steal the election again with the “liberal media” helping them all the way. Then they’ll plunge the world into death and chaos and I’ll never be able to get another bong.


halffull
5. This will sink Bush*

I disagree, halfempty, this is exactly what is going to make people realize that Bush* really is like Hitler– and then everyone will turn against him– and then true progressives will get in office– and then peace will be had in the world– and then gumdrops will fall from the sky– and then unicorns will roam the land once again.


M3sn00ty
6. We smart

You may be right, halffull, but remember that we, the progressives of DU, are much smarter than everyone else. We have to carefully move all others to our viewpoints because most still don’t understand [convoluted conspiracy theory no one understands].


halffull
7. At least we have debate

It’s great at least that we talk about things like this here, and don’t block out views we don’t like such as the Freepers and Repugs do.


Name removed
8. Deleted message

Message removed by moderator. Click here to review the message board rules and better conform to GroupThink™.


Imune2Irony
9. Repugs are nazis

This all just goes along with the Bush*’s and the Repugs’ nazi mentality. The only way we can preserve liberty is to round up the Repugs and put them in ovens.


N3wGuy
10. My own 2 cents

Ooh! Ooh! I’m a monkey!


muck4d00
11, Back to the main point

Imune2Irony and N3wGuy makes some great points, but I just hope everyone keeps in mind how [what was mentioned in the original article] can really be used against us. I bet even the Zionists and the Christians are all cheering about this.


AFewM4rblesL3ft
12. Careful

Watch how you phrase things. Let’s try not to get labeled anti-Semitic and anti-Christian again.


4sylum3scapee
13. Don’t be dumb

I wouldn’t worry about offending Jews or Christians. If you’ve been paying attention to all that going on, especially [a weather occurrence that unconvinced Democrats], it’s obvious that GOD IS BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY HALIBURTON!


muck4d00
14. Exactly

If a glowing angel approaches you or a burning bush starts talking to you, DON’T LISTEN TO IT BECAUSE IT IS PURE PRO-BUSH PROPAGANDA!


4sylum3scapee
15. Beware

Holy Spirit = Goebbels


Th!nkH3sFunny
16. Wouldn’t that be great

I wish someone would burn Bush*.


Moderator
17. Locking

Thread is being locked to keep nuttiness evenly spread throughout the forum.
Thank you for your understanding and cooperation,
DU moderator

No Comments

  1. “7. At least we have debate

    It’s great at least that we talk about things like this here, and don’t block out views we don’t like such as the Freepers and Repugs do.

    Name removed
    8. Deleted message”
    Oh man that got me good. Great insight Frank

  2. I wish I could say I made up the joke myself about a DU’er gloating about how they don’t censor viewpoints followed directly after by a deleted post, but that came straight from an actual thread. I was hoping one DU’er might point out the irony of that, but to no avail.

  3. Heck just the terms of use at DU is amusing enough:
    -This is a “big tent” message board
    -If you think overall that George W. Bush is doing a swell job, or if you wish to see Republicans win, or if you are generally supportive of conservative ideals, please do not register to post, as you will likely be banned.
    doubleplusungood?
    -Do not publicly accuse another member of this message board of being a disruptor, troll, conservative, Republican
    ooohhh the stinging insults there. I like the phrase “disriptor” though, has a nice stalinist ring to it. I’m sorry comrade, you were banned because rational thinking is disruptive.
    -We do not typically delete threads which many members may consider to be “flamebait.” However, the administrators will occasionally remove threads which we arbitrarily consider too rhetorically hot or too inflammatory.
    For instance, any post that doesn’t compare Bush to hitler, tie into the Zionist plot to rule the world, or explain why global warming is a plot by the neo-cons to sell AC units.

  4. Could be a reference to how for a while Doonesbury had * as his ‘symbol’ representing W.
    Come to think of it, I think he still does.
    Or maybe there’s a footnote on DU that says:
    “* Replace ‘Bush’ with the epithet of your choosing. Suggested replacements are ‘Chimp’, ‘bushitler’, etc”

  5. J Mann —
    hte “Bush*” is the note the alleged asterisk that the DU’ers think should be attached to the Bush Presidency, since “Gore won the popular vote”.
    Of course, DU’ers are too dumbassed to understand the Electoral College and why it exists…

  6. I agree with you completely. Reading DU is like watching a train wreck, morbid and horrible, but very entertaining. It is especially fun to read the day after a primary with everyone sniping at each other. My favorite this morning was the Deaniac insisting the elections have been fixed. The is NO WAY Dean could have lost!

  7. Frank J. saves time for all of us

    With this UNIVERSAL DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND THREAD! muck4d00 [News Headline] [Excerpt of article about military issue, political issue, man-made event, natural occurence, or… well… anything followed by link to entire article] Looks suspicious to me….

  8. The asterik is straight from their threads; they either write “Bush*” or just the asterik. My guess its from the same reasoning as why Treadue… uh… Truedow… uh… the guy who make the Doonesbury comic strip uses an asterik to represent Bush.
    Then again, his primary reason is that he’s not very good at drawing.

  9. Thanks, Frank J. I always see DU talked about at LGF, but I get bored with the Bushitler and OilWar nonsense, so it had been a long time since I’d been in that low rent area of the blogosphere–well, it’s the same dismal circus I’d remembered. What a bunch of loons.

  10. Wow, excellent condensed version! All that’s missing is a scraggily-haired activist and/or deceased hippy avatar. Oh, and about 300 puking animated emoticons. Per post. They NEVER get old.
    I’m also enjoying how less than 2% of them were pulling for Kerry OR Edwards over the last few months. Hell, Dennis “mind-control satellites” Kucinich was polling far better with these nimrods. I just wish I had a piece of the Koolaid concessions there.

  11. So accurate. I was debating some issue a couple of weeks back oon that site, and while being trashed by the DUers because of my posts I linked to several articles that proved my point unequivically. What did the moderators do? Banned me from posting forever more. Those nutcases will NOT let facts get in the way of the world view.

  12. A little comedy….

    Two hilarious entries in…well, it’s not a contest, so it’s just two funny posts. One that I’d missed a bit back, from AllahPundit. Pictures and captions. You know the routine. (note: Don’t be in the middle of a nice glass…

  13. Wednesday Wanderings

    The CoV is up at A Perfectly Cromulant Blog; it may take me a few days to get through everything…. This post, at Dissecting Leftism, which disputes the euro-myth that Americans are stupid, was extremely uplifting, since some days I am tempted to fall…

  14. Replacement of Stupid Liberal

    Since there are so many buttheads out there, I am replacing my “Stupid Liberal of the Week” feature with “Dumbass of the Week”. This week I want to congratulate the people over at Democratic Underground. These wacky libs are totally…

  15. You nailed it right on the head. However, to DU’s credit, they now have posts in which they try and convince everyone why their canidate (Dean, Kerry, Clark, etc.) is the only one to have a chance against Bush. Especially funny are the ones that stress that only Kusinich have a chance.

  16. Spot on. But you left out their preoccupation with fear, how they constantly threaten to move to Canada to get away from Bush, BFEE, and my all-time favorite wail from DU every time there’s a thread about terrorists in Guantanamo or Iraqis being shot by US troops)”My god! What have we become?”

  17. Oh yeah, I had roomates who threatened to move to Cananda if Bush won. I think some of them interned in BC over the summer, unfortunately they came back.
    Reminds me, funny thing about their “Bush Recession,” they believe it contrary to all the evidence. Hell, I saw it coming in ’00. Those same Canadian-Americans were all worked up about the recount and crying “the dems aren’t doing enough.” My counter was that I was suprised they were doing anything at all; they’re ruining their credibility, probably wrong (they were), plus the economy and the financial market are about to go to shit and I’d think they’d want a republican to take the blame. I guess some the reason the securities got so inflated was that liberals just didn’t understand the markets or economy and couldn’t see it coming.

  18. Wednesday News Roundup

    Quickly now, not much time today: * IMAO presents the Typical Democratic Underground Thread (TM):It’s obvious that Karl Rove is behind this. How this happened on [whatever the date is] is just too convenient in timing, especially considering that [Bush…

  19. “you just can’t help but gawk at their twisted logic and wild-eyed conspiracy theories. I’ve even ended up becoming addicted to the site; anytime there is breaking news, I think, “I wonder what the nuts are saying about this,” and head straight for DU.”
    funny, i experience the exact same feelings about little green footballs.

  20. The Universal Democratic Underground Thread

    Frank J. at IMAO has done something that I’d thought about trying, but never got around to — The Universal Democratic Underground Thread . Like Frank, I’ve become somewhat addicted to reading the DU forums just to see what the…

  21. Haha…nice. Am I going to be cursed for reading DEMOCRATIC UNDERGROUND? I tried understand or ‘feel’ some of the logic…it made me fell dirty. Time for a shower and some disinfectant…
    spark21

  22. I am a spook over at DU. I read and occasionally post some things. I keep my posts down as I have no way to be so shrill and angry as they are, and I feel that my posts seem phony.
    I wrote about my most recent run-in here
    haha
    I am evil

  23. I think you just cut-and-pasted that straight from a DU thread and didn’t really write it yourself, Frank. The timing is very suspicious anyway since it diverted my attention away from Chimpy’s falling approval ratings. Karl Rove obviously put you up to this.

  24. I’ve registered and been kicked off there twice. The first time was in response to a thread about whether one should keep one’s money in a mattress or a hole in the ground, since the stock market was doomed. I suggested that it might be a good time to invest. (I was correct) BANNED!
    The next time I suggested that maybe Zell Miller was just representing his constituency in a manner consistent with their beliefs. BANNED!
    Yeah, that’s a really big tent.

  25. Damn funny, Frank! But you left a couple of things out:
    1. The addition of some vile Latuff propaganda cartoon extolling the virtues of killing the jooooos or American troops in Iraq.
    2. A post about how Bush and/or the jooooos knew about 9/11 ahead of time.

  26. Generic DU Thread

    Frank J. does a marvelous job creating a generic DU (Democratic Underground) thread: After careful analysis (two minutes thought), I think I broke down all the variance of opinion you’ll ever see on DU and put into one imitated thread….

  27. My favorite DU was after the 2002 midterm elections…
    “I need to get out of this country. It’s only a matter of time before Ashcroft is having liberals dragged out in the streets and shot.”
    Sigh, if only…
    Bob

  28. You’re all a bunch of fascists!
    Haliburton!
    😉
    But seriously, this about sums up the DU.
    I love their responses to this site.
    “They spelled conservative wrong – LOL”
    “Repubs live in fear, don’t want to move forward and feel a sense of hopelessness”
    Great stuff.

  29. Raven:
    “Frank J., I encourage you to pick up the torch that the D.U.M.B. (Democratic Underground Monitoring Blog) dropped last summer.”
    Wow, I didn’t know anyone actually read DUMB. 🙂 (I’m the author)
    I kinda dropped it because, as Frank demonstrated, they have the same response to everything: Bush-hitler, it’s all a Repug plot, Halliburton, etc. Lather, rinse, repeat.
    I’ll occasionally go spelunking there when a major news story happens, just to see their reaction (and post their reaction at my new home as a guest blogger on http://www.steveverdon.com), but I just can’t make myself go there on a daily basis.
    Paul:
    “I know what a Freeper is, but what’s a Repug?”
    Portmanteau combination of “Republican” and “repugnant”. Usually they use “Rethug”, short for “Republican thugs”. Aren’t they clever linguists?

  30. An evening’s entertainment

    Wow, this has been a really fun evening. Just sort of cruising around the sphere, sort of aimlessly wandering the bookmarks and blogrolls. Eventually, I stopped of to see what Frank was up to. He was chuckling because the DU…

  31. Who is the money and organizing force behind the “Democratic Underground?” Follow the money trail. Better yet, if everything is a conspiracy, perhaps we could use the DU to track down all of the cognatively disfunctional psychotic rioter who threaten US security and put an end to that enemy within our own boarder.

  32. man you people just don’t get it. DU is a bastion of progressive ideas and they(we) don’t always agree on everything, but we can at least discuss things rationally, unlike you hate mongers. Thats ok, please ban me, I want it. It would be like a badge of honor. Gore won, Franken is great, Coulter is pschyco, O’reilly sucks, CVlinton was a great president, limbaugh is a useless druggie. Had enough? Your leaders are chickenhawks. I have more if anyone wants it.

  33. man you people just don’t get it. DU is a bastion of progressive ideas and they(we) don’t always agree on everything, but we can at least discuss things rationally, unlike you hate mongers. Thats ok, please ban me, I want it. It would be like a badge of honor. Gore won, Franken is great, Coulter is pschyco, O’reilly sucks, CVlinton was a great president, limbaugh is a useless druggie. Had enough? Your leaders are chickenhawks. I have more if anyone wants it.

  34. Last poster, if you’re serious, I’d like to see you go on DU and say something 1/100th as much against their(and your) worldview(e.g., “I don’t like Bush’s policies, but I can respect him for doing what he thinks is best for the country”). If it’s still up 12 hours later, link us to it. Then I might take your comments of “free debate” seriously. But when the only thing you’re debating is whether Chomsky is the definition of perfect or merely an implementation of it, you can leave me out.

  35. “DU is a bastion of progressive ideas”???
    More like DU is a bastion of one sided slobbering leftists. Ever read the DUmbs rules?
    “If you are a conservative; do not bother signing up, we will ban you.”
    “If you generally like Bush; do not bother signing up, we will ban you.”
    “If you are not a hate filled leftist; do not bother signing up, we will ban you.”

  36. Ive posted this on a few times…. they cant stand being called on it.
    I was banned from the DU forum because I dared discuss, in a polite yet thought-provoking way, the ideology and politics you all (and I mean all) adhere to with such unquestioned loyalty and blind enthusiasm. Rush fans have nothing on you “progressive” folks!
    For a group so committed to their purported respect for diversity and free speech, I was astounded that I was silenced so quickly, and without explanation. Yes, I am fairly conservative compared to this crowd but more independant in my voting. Is that threatening? Will my comments burst your myopic bubble? Will I rain on your “we are so much smarter” parade? Does your fear of real discussion outweigh your arrogance? Its hard to believe so considering the following post but I’m at a loss to find any other reasonable explanation.
    http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic
    I read and understood the DU forum rules, prior to posting, and it states with the diversity focused, extra-enlightened, embarrassingly-arrogant liberal lingo, that within the forums you “will likely encounter many points of view here that you disagree with.” In an even broader stroke of enlightenment and exercise in courage, and in the spirit of truly challenging your highly evolved intellect, the rules further point out… “We ban conservative disruptors who are opposed to the broad goals of this website.” The glaring question is, how will anyone in this forum ever hear a point of view that you dont agree with if you are unwilling and unable to open the discussion to OTHER POINTS OF VIEW??
    Another question comes to mind. What are the true “broad goals” of this website? Might I speculate that the sole purpose of this website is to: take your money, keep you ignorant and unchallenged in your feel-good, self righteous thoughts, and make you feel safe and cozy in your little “me too” bubble, surrounded on all sides by people… JUST LIKE YOU? Diversity you say?
    There is no question that the purpose of you being here is to share your liberal ideas, meeting dates, hate campaign of the day etc. But why are you so drawn to a forum where diversity, dissention, and debate is outlawed? I thought liberals invented those traits (I think Al Gore said that). Do you learn anything here beyond the date of the next feel-good, issue-of-the-day rally? Is this only what you feel comfortable with or do you feel DU serves some other, more enlightened purpose? Perhaps you feel having a little liberal rec room all to your own, absent of true logical engagement, is healthy for your political conscience.
    Surely you all can find forums that are open to truly diverse points of view. Surely you can take the collective liberal circle jerk into the public forum. Or are you hiding behind these ideologicial walls in fear because you find solace in your consolidated groupthink?
    Just a thought but you might want to break out of the little “most righteous” bubble you live in and start thinking for yourselves. Its hardly surprising the right wing is gaining more and more influence in public office and in the hearts and minds of Americans. This forum, this shining example of enlightened, intellectual liberal discourse is nothing more than a frightened and uninspiring “me too” festival. Sheep? Yes, I think you have redefined that term here.
    When you are ready, I invite you to join me and my fellow Americans in the truly meaningful discussion that is going on all around you.
    Thank you
    currently: helmeuth
    formerly: grkda
    …more coming soon, im sure
    P.S. I would like to refer you to my previous posts but most were deleted by the “moderator”. Hail free speech! There is, however, one remaining post that for some reason has not yet been dispatched with. Yes, its a shockingly disruptive post; dangerous to everyone who isnt able or comfortable using their heads for anything other than sucking a marlboro through!
    Hail DU!!
    http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=104&topic_id=713497

  37. The DU fanatics are just pussies who’s entire world collapses when someone so much as tells them that they might want to back up some point they made with hard evidence. I’ve checked out Protestwarrior.com a little, and even people of the hardliner Marxist Left aren’t censored there, even though most people there are Conservative or Libertarian. It’s now quite obvious just who the Facists are.

  38. The Democrat Underground is one of the worst places on the web. Just to view a few posts is to step into the darkest realm of Stalinism and Marxism imaginable. These are people that should not be in the USA as some of their posts are very anti-capitalism, anti-America, and virtually treasonous, such as hoping the US loses the Iraq war just to make Bush look bad. On right-wing message boards, the enviroment is quite different. They do accept liberals on the boards, however be expected to put up a fight and debate. The DU can’t handle anyone having a different opinion let alone squash their conspiracy theories (Read the 9/11 thread at http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=125&topic_id=2443#2444 )
    Scary stuff, right?

  39. WAR: Straight From The Horse’s . . .

    If you haven’t already, you need to check out Smash’s account from last week (here, here and here) of his attendance at an anti-war rally and his interview with one of the speakers. Unbelievable. There’s only so much effort you…

  40. I urge any DU member who thinks he has the guts to go to the “Autobiography of Malcolm X” and read Chapter 15. You are exactly the kinds of liberals that he despised. He speaks more kindly about the Southerners of the 1960’s than he does of your smug, superior, condescending asses. You are the modern-day reincarnation of the jackasses who invited yourselves in to join the March on Washington in ’63 and then used your presence there as a status symbol. At least with the right (excluding the really whacked-out fringe) there is the possibility of debate. Not with you. You are the first people that will call any black man a Tom who does not smile and gratefully accept all that you are doing for him. Malcolm told it to one of your white asses, when asked “what can I do?” Do you remember his answer? “Nothing!” Because he knew you for what you so proudly identify yourselves as, “the top 1-20 % in intelligence.” The truest of the self satisfied “superior” elite that can’t wait to hand out the s–t to everyone who won’t bow down and worship your big F—–g brains. I would bet whatever I have in my wallet though, that the ones who use Malcolm’s picture on their posts are as white as my neighbor’s dog. You’re the same stupid posers who stuck that poster up in your college dorm room hoping for the “cool points you automatically thought would accrue with your black neighbor down the hall. And John Kerry is right there with you in his mind-bending hypocrisy! When do you think he ever preached in a black church before this campaign? I’ll vote for Bush simply because he knows who he is, and he lets me know who he is. As long as the fight is on between two Yale-educated corporate whores, I’ll take the one who doesn’t try to pass himself off as the next “Black” President. By way of signing off, I’ll add this. My politics probably don’t mesh with the guy who runs this site, but I stand a better chance of this being seen here, where you DU types might actually see it, rather than on your site which WILL NOT allow the one thing that Malcolm X asked for more than anything else: “Raw, honest debate to clear the air.”

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