Here’s a letter I got from the Kerry campaign on April 27th. Let me fisk it:
Dear Frank,
That’s me!
I am sickened and saddened by a new Bush-Cheney attack ad released yesterday. It is a malicious insult to a man who has spent his entire life — from the battlefield to the Senate — fighting to make America strong and safe.
I’m sickened, too, but I just need to be more selective where I buy my sushi.
So Kerry was on a battlefield? Where?
We can fire back now at this slanderous attack on the airwaves but only with your help:
https://contribute.johnkerry.com
Hey, nice try, bucko. But I need more info before I fork over some cash. I’m not your usual Democrat ‘tard.
“Oooh! Me clicky blue link! Me givey money!”
The ad accuses Kerry of voting against body armor for our troops. A bizarre claim considering it was George Bush who sent 40,000 U.S. troops to Iraq without the proper body armor. I wish I could blame overzealous political consultants for the ad, but George Bush watched and approved it himself — one more reminder that the Bush-Cheney Campaign will do and say anything to hold onto power.
So, the evil Bush sent troops to Iraq without body armor, and that’s not an argument further condemning Kerry for voting against funding the troops? I’m confuse-ed.
It’s nice how you want to give Bush the benefit of the doubt – and I know you’re sincere in that wish – but it’s obvious that Bush is so immoral he will approve ads attacking his opponent on his voting record. That the kind of tactics Hitler would use!
…I mean, if Hitler were a regular politician and not a genocidal maniac.
You have to see the ad for yourself to understand how low the Bush campaign is willing to go and how dishonest they’re willing to be. But most of you won’t see it because it is being run in only a few key “swing states.” President Bush has already spent nearly $50 million on misleading ads, more than any other candidate in history. (See below for a link to the ad and a D-Bunking of it.)
Wow! The Buch-Cheney-Haliburton-Satan team is just targeting swing states. Using strategy in an election year; that’s as low as you can go! It’s good Kerry’s statements seem to be bereft of any rhyme or reason whatsoever. I will see this misleading ad as soon as I’m done reading this lovely e-mail to dear me.
John Kerry is under fire — help us fire back with a contribution:
https://contribute.johnkerry.com
Hey, goober, wait until I see the ad; then I’ll think of giving you money.
We’ll keep fighting. But we can only do it with your support. We know that we’ll be able to counter this new attack campaign, just like the others — but only because those of you receiving this email will give us the means to fight another day.
Yeah, you don’t how much giving me this e-mail really helps you.
Thank you,
Mary Beth Cahill
Campaign Manager, John Kerry for President
Your name is stupid (sorry, it’s my day off and I’m just out of witty material).
The Facts: http://www.factcheck.org/article.aspx?docID=177
The Misleading Ad: http://www.georgewbush.com/VideoAndAudio
Hey, the ad “Weapons” doesn’t just say Kerry voted against body armor, it says he’s voted against like every weapon ever proposed for the military. If Kerry had his way, our troops would be running around naked with sticks in their hands.
I didn’t read your refutation of the ad because I have a short attention span. Maybe if you made a refutation in video form with funky music in the background I’d see it.
Please do not reply to this message. To contact John Kerry for President, please click here.
Hey! I can reply to this message if I want! You can’t tell me what to do! You’re not my president!
–Wow… there is a whole lot of stupidity running around out there… they are working it, aren’t they?
haha
–Kerry’s whole campaign is starting to remind me of a Saturday Night Live sketch… it has become a parody of itself.
–By the way, Frank… how’re you stocked on ammo for the big day tomorrow?
Oh, yeah! Everyone hide your guns and lock up your money! Capitalism is about to fall!
-The Real Conservative Carl
1000 rounds for the enemy, one for myself.
I’m going to miss capitalism. Shame, really.
Nice fisk, Frank. I was inspired by your first ever fisk and did one of my own on Grand Wizard Byrd’s speech from yesterday.
Note – yes, this is a shameless plug for my blog
“I didn’t read your refutation of the ad because I have a short attention span. Maybe if you made a refutation in video form with funky music in the background I’d see it.”
I think what you should be doing is trying to convert stupid liberals. I don’t think you’re persuading anyone. All you do is comfort ignorant conservatives (and there are some) that they are still right. I agree with most of your views, but, for the love of mike, don’t be such an a-hole.
–Poor capitalism… it never meant to hurt anyone… it was just misunderstood, like King Kong and Godzilla…
hmmmm,
Stupid liberal, in general, don’t read my site. I think a couple smart ones do.
“hmmmm,
Stupid liberals, in general, don’t read my site. I think a couple smart ones do.”
Smart Liberal? Those words… used together like that… I don’t understand…
Too funny! I wonder why Mary Beth (le Manager du Campaign a la Kerry du John) didn’t send in an IMAO T-Shirt Babe entry – probably too sickened and saddened to smile for the camera.
Will the revolution be televised? I am pretty lazy, so I might just watch it on TV, that is, if the Simpsons aren’t on.
Man I KNEW I shouldn’t have bought Pirates of the Caribbean on DVD, my capitalist pig money went to that socialist dog Johnny Depp!!!
–Kerry’s whole campaign is starting to remind me of a Saturday Night Live sketch… it has become a parody of itself.
Yep, that’s Kerry all right: the Not Ready for Prime Time Candidate.
I almost forgot about that pathetic Limeys threat… Oh woe is me, what shall we do tomorrow?! flicks off safety Hehehe.
Spring Break, Iraq ’04. woooh whoooo.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/transmigrant/31681.html
“John Kerry is under fire — help us fire back with a contribution”
So you admit you need help? 😉
Admitting you need help is the first step on the path to healing.
Frank, it’s ‘strategery’.
From the looks of this campaign it’s no wonder that the Navy sent him back from the Southeast Asian War Games early. In the expression beloved of my DI at MCRD San Diego in 1964 he ‘could F**k an anvil with a feather duster’.
That email being sent is just more evidence that they just-don’t-have-a-clue. Or that they bother to proofread anything. I would be embarrassed to have my name associated with that . . . that. . .
whatever it is. I am still shaking my head trying to believe it. Come on, you’re pulling my leg. Right?
I just want to use the phrase “stupiud bastrad” for no apparent reason. It seems appropriate somehow, considering how capitalism will be a footnote in the history books after tomorrow.
I work in political press relations. One of the rules I try to follow is that you never repeat the negative. That is, if someone has attacked you, you never repeat their argument before refuting it.
Simply put, don’t repeat again what they have said.
Like, don’t say: “These allegations that Senator Schmucky beats his wife are outrageous.”
So, if Kerry is actually encouraging people to GO WATCH THE NEGATIVE AD THAT MOST PEOPLE WOULDN’T SEE OTHERWISE … that is stupid.
Now, millions of people will know about an ad and perhaps watch it, when they wouldn’t have before. That just stretches Bush’s TV money even further.
Wow.
“John Kerry is under fire…”
He should be OK, I heard he fought in a war somewhere. He’s used to it.
But anytime a Bush ad attacks him, he puts in for a Purple Heart. They wound his ego.
I like the cut of your gib, Bob in Feeniks.
Oh hey, I’m from a city called Phoenix. Is Feeniks somewhere near there?
Joey
Yes, it’s where the people who don’t know how to spell ‘Phoenix’ live. It’s spelled fonetickly for their benefit.
And who cut my gib? I hate that!
at least it’s not Camp Phoenix. (afghanistan)
Frank, to be fair, that ad really is pretty bad. It talks about voting against the B2 bomber and other weapons vital to the fight against terrorism. Say what??
anon,
Um, we ARE dropping bombs on terrorists these days. Didn’t you get the memo?