Everyone has heard about Al Gore’s insane tirade yesterday, but is he really now so insane that’s he’s a menace to society? To find out, I had my crack research team find out whatever they could about the one know as Al Gore.
FUN FACTS ABOUT AL GORE
* Al Gore’s father was also a U.S. Senator and his mother is a wooden plank.
* Many say Gore got his personality from his mother.
* Al Gore hugs trees because his parents never hugged him.
* Once when Al Gore was at McDonalds, the cashier accidentally gave him a large fry instead of the SuperSize™ fry he ordered. Gore then proceeded to demand the CEO resign.
* Don’t let Al Gore near any elections, because he’ll try and steal them.
* His programming was specifically for him to be a politician. Now that he no longer is one, he’s gone rogue.
* Some say that Al Gore is an emotionless, killer cyborg, while other say he is more of an android.
* If you turn on a microwave while Al Gore is near, he’ll suddenly start singing showtunes.
* Al Gore spent most of his vice presidency trying to keep Clinton away from his daughters.
* Al Gore’s rage wasn’t well known during the 2000 election, but it’s said that sometimes he’d short circuit during the campaign trail and take out an entire town.
* Part of the reason Al Gore gave such an insane tirade yesterday is because a refrigerator magnet was stuck to his head.
* Most aren’t sure why Al Gore singled out Rush Limbaugh in his recent speech, but it may be go back to the time Rush Limbaugh killed his father.
* Due to his huge obsession with porn, Al Gore invented the internet.
* During the 2000 campaign, Al Gore told a number of stories that weren’t quite true. These weren’t in fact lies, but instead the results of faulty programming in his logic cells.
* Al Gore is bullet proof but vulnerable to EMP blasts.
* Al Gore is obsessed with saving the environment. Eventually he plans to eliminate all cars to save the air and then all people.
* Al Gore was assembled in Tennessee, but has since been rejected by that state after his numerous killing sprees.
* Some say Al Gore is stiff, but he actually has a wide range of movement for a robot.
* When keeping a look out for a killer Al Gore, remember that he may have a beard.
* The only way to destroy Al Gore is to get him to chase you under a hydraulic press. It’s best to keep in memory all the nearest hydraulic presses before hand.
* If his eyes glow red, that means he’s about to charge. Quickly dodge to the side and then counter attack.
* In a fight between Al Gore and Aquaman, Al Gore would grapple Aquaman with his “tree hug of iron” grab, snapping Aquaman’s spine.
* Rumors that Gore was designed by Honda are unfounded.
* What you don’t see in the video of Gore’s speech yesterday is that he slaughtered everyone in the room right after. Good for him.
That makes sense. I had figured he had opened an attachment from somebody he didn’t know.
What if aquaman saidd he loved SVUs and gorebot charged at him, not realizing he was HEADED INTO THE SEA! Surely salt water would have a negative affect?
Aquaman can do it!
I’m sure of it!
Yes his mother was a plank but her mother was a vey promiscuous plank – a “gangplank”
HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Is it immoral to point out your painful errors of spelling and grammar?
Because I would nay want to be starting international trouble.
All joking aside:
Kerry wins from this Gore thing. He now looks like a safe moderate in comparison. Gore, formerly a spokesman for moderation, has moved things so much left that Kerry is much more palatable. The same thing happened with Dean at the gubernatorials. All the workings of the DNC? Who knows.
Al Gore: brilliant eviro, cheated out of his rightful place as President? Or has he finally, totally lost his mind?
I caught excerpts of some of this ‘speech’, and the Gore Kill-Bot made Howlin’ Howie look as sedate as Joe Lieberman.
Please let Gore say he “endorses” Kerry, that man is like the kiss of death.
You mean that wasn’t a comedy routine, he was serous? I thought he was dong a roast. I guess that is what happens to men who sleep with a woman named Tipper.
Dave the Australian:
Yes, it most certainly is immoral.
By the way, it’s spelled NAE, not NAY.
If we can only convince the Democrats to pick Gore as the running mate…
Dave The Australian is right.
What is Gore’s biggest fear, Global Warming. Why, cause the seas will rise causing massive flooding! He’s trying to protect his own synthetic skin!
My only concern is whether he’s somehow managed to override the 3 laws of robotics that are supposed to keep us safe from his kind.
Does he have to start signing his name R.Al Gore now?
What about a fight between Tipper and Aquaman. Your crack research team surely has the goods on Tipper, too, no?
hln
Frank,
Don’t forget, Aquaman could call in his sea creature friends to distract Gore while he prepared some of those deadly water balls he threw. He could also swim real fast to get away, while Gore would just plod along on the sea bottom.
Now, if Ant Man were to take on Gore, that would be a slaughter. The strength of a regular man at the size of an ant would be no match for the super abilities of Gore.
GORE SMASH!!!
i’m thinkin’ Aquaman could short-circuit the Gorebot, but that would just make Gore crazier and more dangerous, so yeah, Aquaman is toast.
why are we giving an idiot so much credibility, he called for a recount like a whiney liberal…remember we are for stopping global whining…the gore bot is still being a loser and complaining about his loss but i could not imagine life under a president Gore…nor Kerry…i don’t want to see their faces ever again after this election and if i have to i will come after them with a stick so they don’t take my hard-earned business earnings. anyways what would make his circuits fry BTW??? is there some sort of weapon that could be used that would make him take an opposite side and start making the democrats look stupid?? lets get on this now,
matt
Know thy Gore (IMAO)
Know thy Gore (IMAO)
From AlGore’s horrible speech: “In my religious tradition, I have been taught that … every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit…”
What AlGore’s speech teaches us is that: a crazy psycho tree brings forth crazy psycho fruit.
How did Gore forget he was a human, I mean I’m sure he didn’t grow up being told by his parents that he is tree.
I posted this at the Emperor’s Site but I see somebody here made the same connection so I’m putting it here as well.
I am wondering who made the Gorebot. It continually violates two of the three laws.
1 It hurts men through actions (speeches like this) and through inaction (8 years of being in an administration that did nothing meaningful about terrorism)
2 It does obey its orders very well. Too bad it doesn’t take orders from sensible people.
3. It doesn’t protect itself. I mean, it lost an election that it should have won easily. All the indicators showed that the Gorebot should have crushed Bush but it didn’t.
Hell, it even violates the zeroeth law. It harms mankind through its actions and inactions.
The maker of the Gorebot has some splainin to do.
My God! I can’t imagine what could be happening at Euro-Itchy and Scratchy Land!
Your hatred for aquaman shows with more violent acts. I like. I like.
The GoreBot has to be running on Linux. Look at the damn thing. It has a very limited range of programs, and it’s continually doing things no sane user would ask of it!
Three words…
klatu barada nikto
It appears that it finally happened, the Gore-Bot forgot to practice safe sex and caught the raging VD from Tipper. It seems to have gone straight to LEFT side of his brain, thus inhibiting any sane thoughts at all. WE must destroy the Gore-Bot before it spreads any more deadly Tipper VD and turns everyone around into flaming Liberals. Ooooops too late, it has already spread, we must now destroy all Liberals before it spread to the sane conservative majority. The best way to destroy the Gore-Bot and all liberals is to help them pull their heads out of their asses and show reality. If that doesn’t work, a good wooden stake in the heart may.
Good Hunting
but if aquaman just surrounded himself with endangered sea life, the gorebot would be screwed, because while he has no problem with the wanton destruction of human life, he will never hurt an endangerd crustaceon.
I liked this page and it was very funny. But I had to go to the link to see what Gore actually said and now I feel all filthy. More humor please. Humor is good.
Gore is not-good.
Did you know Al Gore’s name is actually shortened from the word “Algorithm”?
–Entrepreneur… you said: “why are we giving an idiot so much credibility,…” and “is there some sort of weapon that could be used that would make him take an opposite side and start making the democrats look stupid??”
–Ummm… have you been paying attention? Do you think this thread shows “credibility” for Gore-bot?
–…and, as for him STARTING to “make democrats look stupid?” Wow… you need to get out more, Ent… I’m not sure they could look more stupid if they put on clown shoes and announced that they were going to only drive around in toy cars from now on.
To destroy the Gore-bot and the liberals,(thus saving us from the above mentioned VD) just take out the Fleet Center while the convention is going good and strong with their liberal rage. Take it out w/ a gigantic antibiotic bomb…hmmmm…but then sometimes doctors need to use several different kinds of antibiotics to squash out infections, so maybe you will need several antibiotic cluster bombs. It needs to be done though before they all leave for the night to go to one of the many bars in the area. When they scatter it’s harder to track them.
Anyone else think it’s ironic that Gore’s speech was full of biblical diatribes and questioning of his opponents’ patriotism?
I thought we weren’t supposed to do that.
Double standards? Only in America!
Your site has quickly become my favorite, its great, as for your “know thy enemy”, you should do one on the fat bloated waste of space Michael Moore, because he is infact a useless bloated unshaven waste of space. thank you
your mother was a plank and your father smelled of elderberries!
To paraphrase one of my favorite movies:
Being Al Gore is bad, and wrong. There should be a stronger word for being Al Gore. Badong. Being Al Gore is badong.
Here’s my theory on the makers of Gorebot. It was the DNC, but Karl Rove moved from the shadows and stole his controls; thus it is doing exactly as Karl Rove has planned. These Gorebot “short circuits” are too convient for staining everyone with a “D” near their name to not be a VRWC. Man, those VRWC guys are good.
http://WWW.theblake.us/archives/000035.html
Apparently Al Gore freaked out or something. Who cares. I hate him….
Perhaps Chomps was marking his territory on the Gorebot’s circuit boards during routine maintenance after the 2ooo election meltdown. Did Karl Rove sneak Chomps into the Gorebot secret loonyleft dungeon? One wonders at the dark mysterious workings of the Rover….
Al Whore actually called that piece of gaia-loving garbage “The Day After Tomorrow” “honest fiction”. HONEST FICTION!!! Sums up the Marxist lifestyle pretty well.
When can I get my “Know thy Enema (oops, sorry) Enemy: AlGore” Shirt?
IWANTIWANTIWANTIWANT!!!
Whoever wrote these sucks big time at comedy.
Rain Delays And Blinks
Well, We’re back home. We got rained on and the race was delayed twice. My lady-friend developed the sniffles and started whining. Temp was in the 80’s at the racetrack. I was having the time of my life. After the…
The truth about Al Gore
Following the former veep’s recent speech, Frank J. presented an assortment of “Fun Facts about Al Gore.” Here’s a selection: * His programming was specifically for him to be a politician. Now that he no longer is one, he’s gone rogue. * If you turn on…
You’re all just jealous because YOU didn’t invent the internet…
I know its a little late, but Frank, BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA gasp BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
Frank
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