I want to keep this feature going, but I’m nearly out of stories. So, if you have a military story, e-mail me with the subject “Military”. Thanks.
John sent in some more military terminology:
Here are some Navy/Submarine terms
sluff- short little ugly fat fucker
non-qual- person who has not qualified in submarines. Lower than whale shit
buff- big ugly fat fucker
bug juice- Navy Kool Aid. Also a good degreaser.
midrats- late night meal
push button petty officer- A person that was given a petty officer pay grade because of their school and didn’t have to test for it
chop- supply officer
cob- Head enlisted man on the submarine (Chief of the Boat)
boat- submarine. We don’t call submarines ships successful deployement-number of surfaces equaled the nuimber of dives.
DaDougster sent this in. I know I’ve seen the first part before, but the rest is new to me…
USMC Rules for Gunfighting
1. Be courteous to everyone, friendly to no one.
2. Decide to be aggressive ENOUGH, quickly ENOUGH.
3. Have a plan.
4. Have a back-up plan, because the first one probably won’t work.
5. Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.
6. Do not attend a gunfight with a handgun whose caliber does not start with a “4.”
7. Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice. Ammo is cheap. Life is expensive.
8. Move away from your attacker. Distance is your friend. (Lateral and diagonal movement are preferred.)
9. Use cover or concealment as much as possible.
10. Flank your adversary when possible. Protect yours.
11. Always cheat; always win. The only unfair fight is the one you lose.
12. In ten years nobody will remember the details of caliber, stance, or tactics. They will only remember who lived.
13. If you are not shooting, you should be communicating or reloading.
14. Someday someone may kill you with your own gun, but they should have to beat you to death with it because it is empty.
15. And above all … don’t drop your guard.
And just to be obnoxious:
Navy SEALS Rules For Gun fighting
1. Look very cool in the latest sunglasses.
2. Kill every living thing within view.
3. Return quickly to looking very cool in latest beach wear.
4. Check hair in mirror.
US Army Rangers Rules For Gun fighting
1. Walk in 50 miles wearing 75 pound ruck while starving.
2. Locate individuals requiring killing.
3. Request permission via radio from “Higher” to perform killing.
4. Curse bitterly when mission is aborted.
5. Walk out 50 miles wearing a 75 pound ruck while starving.
Army Rules For Gun fighting
1. Select a new beret to wear
2. Sew combat patch on right shoulder
3. Reconsider the color of beret you decide to wear
US Air Force Rules For Gun fighting
1. Have a cocktail
2. Adjust temperature on air-conditioner
3. See what’s on HBO
4. Determine “what is a gunfight”
5. Send the Marines
Navy Rules For Gunfighting
1. Go to Sea
2. Drink Coffee
3. Send the Marines
That has to be the fifth reference I’ve seen to the Navy doing nothing but drinking coffee. I really like coffee; maybe I should join the Navy.
On a more serious note…
I am Proud
I’ve always had serious pride in the United States’ Military. Great men with bad guns willing to do bad things for my freedom. Now, I have even more pride. I’ve never claimed that my brother and I see eye to eye on anything except the military, but he’s still a great man. I found out today that he’s off to Iraq and he’s no longer in the Special Forces. He left American soil as a member of the Delta force. He will be fighting soon for your freedom and for my freedom. Sgt. Marc and everyone in the military (but mostly him right now) deserve many thanks. So, something I never thought I’d say…..Thank you Marc….Please, be safe. Marc is very religious and as everyone knows, I am not. In this case, though, I’ll say that if there is a god…..Watch his back. Marc has the mind of a genius and the heart of a child…Let no one take this from him. I know he’s a very competent man and that anyone near him is safe. May that competence bring him home alive. Please, don’t get killed. I’ll have to join the military and avenge your death. This would end badly and with many nuclear weapons, so, for the sake of humanity….COME HOME SAFE.
To anyone that reads this I say, “Sleep well this night.” There are man and women fighting like hell for you and I to sleep well. To all those men and women in the military I say, “When you get the chance to sleep, please know there are people that appreciate you more than words can describe.” To Marc, “You are loved and sweet dreams, if that’s possible where you’re at.”
Love, your sis,
The Sicilian
–I’d just like to thank Mr. Frank for keeping up this military posting. It’s great to read all the stuff others have to say on this subject.
–Seriously, though, Frank… you don’t hate Michael Moore????
Where’s Rachel Lucas when we need her??? Now that’s one gal who truly HATES Michael Moore (because he’s worse than an asshat)!!!
Go Sicilian!!!
I miss Rachel 🙁
I guess The Children didn’t need any favors today Frank?
Military posts are rated M for Military and Mature.
You know, as a former Marine, I had to serve with a lot of sailors. Many of them were good people, and yes, they liked coffee.
Just remember that the Marines are a department of the Navy….. The Men’s department.
Dear Sicilian:
If your brother is in Delta. He can take care of himself and doesn’t have to prove a thing. Though, a little Back-Up couldn’t hurt. I’ll keep him and many others in my thoughts and prayers.
Red.
God, please bless Marc, and keep him safe. Give his family peace, and watch over them.
Thank you for blessing us with such fine men and women.
amen
I think I’m going to make “Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.” my personal motto. =)
Dear Sis-Sicilian
I add my thoughts & prayers as well to your brothers safety. May he ever have a can of Whup-Ass at hand, and come home safely.
Thanks everyone. Like I said, for the sake of humanity, he better come home safe!!! Just Joking, I think.
Frank – here are some Navy terms from my time. And yes, the Navy does drink a LOT of coffee, generally strong enough to either bend the spoon or hold it straight up in the mug. Fighting in the Navy is usually fast, intense, and over quickly, after which things revert to normal (e.g., boring). People in the Navy generally have better living/working conditions than the Army folks or Marines, in that at least we’re not slogging through mud/sand/incoming, but the folks who have it the best are the Air Force. We used to say the Air Force always spent the budget on o clubs, golf courses and etc because they knew Congress would always give them more money for planes and runways.
Anyway –
JANFU – Joint Army-Navy F*** Up
AFU – All Fed up
TU – Tango Uniform, Tits Up, Toes Up – broken, not functional
DOWN – nonfunctional
UP – working again
CHIT – paper to allow you to do or not do something
WARM BODY – somebody who got a promotion that either wasn’t deserved or didn’t require work, something like Kerry making JG
BULL – junior officer, generally an ensign
SLJO – Shitty Little Jobs Officer
GEEDUNK – candy, cookies, junk food
CHOW – food, eaten in a CHOW hall
COVER – hat
DECK – floor
BULKHEAD – wall
SCUTTLEBUTT – drinking fountain or water cooler; also, information shared at such a location
RACK – bunk
HOT RACK – bunk shared by two or more personnel (not at the same time)
NUGGET – new person, from FNG, Fing New Guy
GOAT ROPE – confusion
-EX – suffix used to create situational nouns – as in GOATEX, confused situation, FLAILEX, panic situation, F***EX, hopelessly messed up situation
BOAT – submarine
SHIP – vessel on surface, fondly referred to as “target” by subsurface and air warriors
NASAL RADIATOR – naval aviator
FO – NFO, naval flight officer (non-pilot, that is, navigator, weapons officer, etc)
GROUND POUNDER – non flight personnel
DECK APES – deck personnel on aircraft carrier
STEEL BEACH – main deck of surface vessel
SET CON – set conditions. As in, SET CON BEER!
SWEATHOG – officer who worries about everything. Also CASHMERE, for being such a “sweater”
SWEATCON – sweating condition, a stressful situation. When it’s over, you SECURE from SWEATCON 1
LIBERTY – fun
TECHNICOLOR YAWN – throwing up from overindulgence in liquid liberty products
ROCK – stupid person
DUTY – the standard or default object. DUTY JUDY is the girl everyone has
TRASH HAULER – non combat aircraft
That’s all I can think of right now –
Oh, and prayers for Sicilian’s brother!
Frank,
I posted the whole set of “rules” here. My brother-in-law sent it to me. It was posted on the wall of a barracks that he was stationed at. The “Top” (First Sergent) thought it was so funny, he looked the other way every time he walked by and chuckled.