I said I wasn’t going to post until I got back to Florida, but Doug the T-Shirt guy of ThoseShirts.com alerted me to a scandal involving me that I was unaware of (I’ve barely been able to do any blog reading lately).
Apparently, Atrios said that Glenn Reynolds is racist for wearing the “Celebrate Diversity” t-shirt. Then some guy called Steve Gilliard says my quote on ThoseShirts.com makes me racist because “monkeys” is a racist code word. Then someone else says that I must obviously be Atrios in disguise! And Glenn Reynolds agrees!
To clear everything up, I just want to say IT’S ALL COMPLETELY TRUE! I am Atrios. I pretended to be crazy lefty as it was the only way to bring down the tyrannical puppy blender… and I fooled you all (Ha Ha!). Also, every time I talk about monkeys, I am being racist. And, when you laugh at my jokes, you are racist (Ha Ha!).
I fool you all good and you stupid and me smart (Ha Ha!)!
Finally, I’m first. Whoohoo!! So Frank will you finally admit to being a blue-helmuted Iraqi Ninja too, since your being so truthful?
Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle…
…And by monkey, I mean a black person.
Please note the obvious racism.
Hilarious, Tim E!
Oh, and you’re kind of funny too, Frank J.
i never would have guessed but oh well. have fun……
Curses! Foiled again! Boy, you sure fooled us Frank.
But it’s okay when Tim E. says that because he’s black!
(I noticed that people have been leaving comments on the wacko’s site. He hasn’t said anything lately. It’s funny. haha. I’m done now.)
Yeah, if I was gonna say racist things, I would definitely use secret racist code words too. Like I could start ranting about “honkies” and “crackers” and nobody would know who I was really talking about.
Well, at least it sounds like your awake, Frank. You racist monkey-hater!
LOL, Tim E.
I find this whole accusation insulting! An outrage! A slap in the face of honest red blooded racists everywhere!
We moved beyond simplistic racist references like “monkey” a long time ago. What, do you think that just because we maintain unbridled hatred for people based solely on the color of their skin, we are incapable of intellectual growth? We can’t expand beyond age old euphamisms? We lack the creativity and capacity to broaden our bigotted vocabularies? Like Hell!
We do have a secret word to represent our most hated species when prudence demands. And that word is “Liberals”!!!
Let me tell you something Mr. J…I know racists, and you sir are no racist!
Stick to what you know, monkey boy, and leave proper vile, unfounded, hate-mongering to the professionals.
Wanker!
HA!!!! Your no David Duke. He would never say “Wanker”!!!
Those people over there remind me of the folks who saw the sublimal sex messages on the ice cubes in the liquor ads. See! See!
I used wanker because I am incognito! And how did you know my name?
DAMN! It’s on the post comment form!
Uhm…I love MONKEYS!
Does the FBI read this site?
I gotta go!
this post is the final product of a million monkeys typing for 2 decades, & the lot of us would like frank to know that he is a no-good, very-bad crypto-imperialist bipedalist, which is much worse than being a racist, since it discriminates against like, 99.999999999999999999999999999999999 of the living beings on this great planet gaia.
Dayum Innanet.
You mean I’m black and didn’t know it?
THAT’S IT!
BLACK AS SPACE!
Well isn’t this just a kick in the bananas. Thanks to this my wife, Daphne, just walked out on me. Said she didn’t want to be in an interracial relationship.
Damn!
Shhhh Frank don’t tell anyone! Ohh man now we’re all caught.
Even if beating the Evil Puppy blending/satan worshiping/hobo murdering/communist spy who dances the robot is an honorable goal, which it is, it is still a terrible sin. to pose as a lib.
You should be ashamed, Frank.
I can hear Nelson Muntz in every (Ha ha) you typed.
Don’t use “monkey”, it’s a code word.
Try “moonbat” instead.
So what does “monkey droppings” mean?
Or “barrel o’ monkeys?”
Or “Monkeybone?” That one has always been a mystery.
Or “porch monkey”… oh, wait…
What hurts the most, is that Frank always portrayed himself as an Engineering, a productive member of society.
Atrios is a shudder journalist-type. In fact, he “reports” on other journalists at Media Matters. Seems, somehow cannibalistic.
You may be Atrios but
I’m Rick James , Bitch!
Monkeys are evil. They must be defeated!
http://www.blindcavefish.com/2004_08_01_archive.html#109164320536506040
Well what a fine time to discover this little tidbit.
30 years of research in this friggin’ jungle and now this!
You didn’t seriously object to the merit of the argument that suggests that you are Duncan Black (Atrios).
Further, you do what a lot of people do in positions of guilt, and make an overblown sarcastic confession instead of categorically saying the charges are false.
If you are Duncan Black, then you are a shill, it will be discovered, and you will be humiliated. If you are not, you should say clearly that you are not.
Instapundit never actually said you were, he only pointed to evidence that suggested you seem to be a fake. I assume he was simply using his extremely successful blog to alert millions of people to the possiblity. Someone out there has the means to figure this out, and they will.
Why don’t you categorically deny that you are Duncan Black? That way, you have some stake persoanlly in your honesty.
Damn, and I had thought all along you were really Jim Treacher impersonating Micah Wright!
Now I have to get one of those shirts. Since I possess a diverse assortment of firearms that must make me a racist too. And I don’t want to not be wearing the subtle, coded identification garment when we rise up and, um, er… sorry. Have to clear it up first – exactly who are we supposed to be racist against?
I think it’s interesting that not one person has commented on Atrios’ site. Talk about a negative bounce.
People colored green, yellow and orange from what I can gather.
I question the timing of this announcement.
Hey Frank J. When you’re done being Duncan Black, can I take over for a while?
I just want to get one thing straight before I start posting as Atrios. Am I a liberal pretending to be a conservative pretending to be a racist?
Or am I racist pretending to be a liberal pretending to be a conservative?
Or maybe I’m a monkey pretending to be a man. Or is it the other way around?
If I take over Atrios’ duties (doodies?) from you, can I have a free t-shirt? Or maybe a cigar.
I want some steak, persoanlly
Monkeys are bad
For my inaugural post, I would like to come down firmly on one side of the monkey issue. Monkeys, I regret to inform you, are bad. Lately, the bad-monkey meme has been like a baboon’s ass: florid, stinky and stuck…
above comments are all very funny..
funnier still will be that someone will pull this blogging euphemistic monkey bait swill that is truly all in jest and swear that means that right wing people have no sense of humor. But I guess what do you expect from people who have no sense.
The above comment is intended to provide an iddy biddy little protection when someone actually tries to crucify Frank. honest I saw a bunch of libs shopping for 9″ spikes just a moment ago
VOTF,
You left your Caps Lock key down. Might want to check in on that?
VoteOutTheFascist:
You need to get into the spirit of things. That’s not nearly racist enough!!
Or maybe you are being really subtle… yeah… I see it now… when you talk about shutting down digital brownshirts, you mean you want to shut down all internet sites run by Black people right?
You are so slick! Keep up the great work!
So, if you’re Atrios, can you tell us how you can get George Soros to fund all of our blogs too? Share the wealth!
Frank,
No more making fun of the Amish they are on our side.
Sho nuff is! Dey sho duz! Who you be?
Darnit.
I feel so left out. As you know, it is impossible for minorities to be racist as we are not in power. And racism is about power. So, as a Latino,I get left out of the whole monkey controversy?
You damn crackers!
PS. I take offense to people using Spic & Span.
PPS. Crackers.
RWD: “You damn crackers!”
Hey now duck…that’s hittin’ pretty close to home for ol’ krakatoa.
Besides….that wouldn’t be a box of Cracker Meal in your cupboard, would it???
Who’s the racist pig now??
Oh…wait…that’s right… Frank J. is the racist pig. We all are just posers compared to his diabolical methods.
Holy crap, Batman! Rightwingduck just sparked a revelation! Spic & Span! Get it?
See, “spic” is a slur against Hispanics, and “span” refers to a bridge, so obviously the name means we should chase the Hispanics back across the bridge! Or maybe hang them from the bridge! Or push them off the bridge! Or hide beneath the bridge when they cross it! Or not play bridge with them!
Whatever, it involves Latinos and bridges, and is unutterably hateful! Now excuse me, I gotta go order one of those shirts. And run to the store to buy some Spic & Span.
ducky! ROFL! not a good thing, either, since i’m at work!! spic and span? LMPTO!
say, frank, if you’re a liberal muckadoo, i’ma hafta rethink this whole engagement. what? we’re not engaged? is it because i’m wearing black t-shirts in all the pics?
“Reynolds has said any number of biased, unfair and truly repellent things on his site. Which is his right. But this crosses a rather broad line. I mean, where does he keep this shirt, next to his Wehrmacht World Tour and Hitler: No More Mister Nice Guy shirts.”
HE LOSES TEH INTERNET!
Clutch Linker
So, I wanted to do a linkfest, but I also wanted to put something special up on the radio tonight. Then I thought, Hey, why not do both at once?! Then I can introduce you to one of my favorite…
Making fun of making fun of making fun of celebrating diversity is hate fun! AND I HATE HATE FUN!
SHAME! SHAME! SHAME!
Black shirts… internet site… Sarahk is a digital blackshirt!
Now that I think about it… hmm. I don’t think I’ve seen Frank J. and George Bush in the same room at the same time. Holy Butterfly Ballot .. could it be?
Maybe that is why the world hates Frank J so much. Frank J. is really …hey. what are all these Secret Service lkdj d[d Gh HEY. Leave mel ldkj’lk e;vooie j aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Just for the record, if anyone is actually monitoring this stuff… I always knew that rightwingduck was a real troublemaker and would come to a bad end.
In the first Gulf War, a confused group of Republican Guards accidentally surrendered to some monkeys. The monkeys then bit them (violating the Geneva Convention rules on handling P.O.W.’s) and stole their vehicles and weapons. Legend has it that they still roam the deserts today, wreaking havoc as only monkeys do So Frank is this really a racist comment? And how did the Republican Guard get the monkeys?
In the first Gulf War, a confused group of Republican Guards accidentally surrendered to some monkeys. The monkeys then bit them (violating the Geneva Convention rules on handling P.O.W.’s) and stole their vehicles and weapons. Legend has it that they still roam the deserts today, wreaking havoc as only monkeys do So Frank is this really a racist comment? And how did the Republican Guard get the monkeys?
Hey Frank! You’re website has a black color scheme surrounding white text boxes. That must mean that you fear blacks are encroaching upon your right to whiteness! You must be racist! You Nazi/KKK/(etc, etc)!!!!
Sounds like Vote The Fascists Out is fetishistically hung up on Caps. While screeching, screaming, fliging feces and dreaming about wild monkeyf*** lovin’.
Here’s a football to practice on, VTFO. You won’t have a chance at the real thing until you put your Mom’s panties away. And develop zits, pubes and armpit hair!
So what’s the code word “MONKEY BRAINS” refer to again? I forget.
WHAT????? Are you giving up SarahK? Do I have a shot????? (Someone quick! Come up with a surgery that can remove 20 years from my life! I may have a chance!!) Even if he is a racist monkey, it wouldn’t be the worst I’ve put up with in a man. And FrankJ. would be SOOOOO worth it.
Dreaming.
Well I left those bung-holes a post from yours truly, and I put a copy of what I said on my blog.
I am sure I will get allot of hate mail this evening.
Good job, sir. Keep up the great work.
God bless you and God bless America!
[Rightwingduck steps back into the comment room looking disheveled. His eyes are glassy and appear to be reprogrammed.]
“Frank J is not George Bush. Ignore what I said earlier. Some swamp gas refracted of Venus causing the illusion that Frank J. and the Evil George Bush were the same person.
BTW, low taxes and dead foreigners are good. Never misunderestimate them”
I’m confused.
And damn proud of it!
How could I have been so blind?
The scales have fallen from my eyes! All the flap about this post by Atrios has made me realize that Glenn Reynolds is in reality a gun-loving racist like all the other Repugs and Bushitlerites. Not only does this shirt…
step back, MarginMI!! 😀 i’ll get over the muckadoody, but only for Frank.
I’m really Teresa Heinz Kerry. And if you don’t believe me you can go shove yourself. Uh, I mean f*** it. I mean…
I noticed that I get a lot of traffic to my site when I use the phrase “Cracker” Hmm. I have a new post coming out. Cracker Frank J and the t-shirt Conspiracy. yeah, that ‘s good.
I am Atrios! And so is my wife!
This was interesting…….
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Frank. Frank Frank.
Link to my site. I just posted a Anatomy of a Liberal Lather. It is a piece of art man. Art, man.
http://www.rightwingduck.blog-city.com
Into a Liberal Lather.. A Special Performance
I have felt inspired once again by the almost Mere Mortal Frank J. For those of you in the know, the venerable Frank J. has come under attack for the mention of the word Monkey on one of his shirts. Of course, the idea of monkies as our Ancestors is
Silly Season
Only a racist would automatically think of race whenever monkeys are mentioned. Oh, and Glenn Reynolds is somehow racist for celebrating a certain kind of diversity. To that, I say, celebrate diversity: (Thanks to The Mulatto Advocate for the above
There sure are some looney people out in the land of the left. One funny thing, though: In the comment section for Atrios’ post, somebody was questioning the logic of the Nuke the Moon shirt! Scared little babies.
Nuke the Moon shirt!=logic
seems perfectly rational to me.
We would definently have peace then……
……After the tidal waves destroy the planet
Well, the moon can be seen at night, and the night sky is black, so “Nuke the Moon” is obviously some sort of racial slur…
Gun Lovers Vs. Hypersensitive Liberals!
Folks — and I kid you not — I now stand accused of being part of a bizarro-world racist t-shirt…
Yeah, I heard that Michael Jackson was going to resume his identity of LaToya and go into hiding.
Turns out Frank is also Scott McClellan.
Oh my goodness this screams caption contest!!!
Of course I will start.
“I got your ear right here, Kerry Kornhole!”
So wait, am I supposed to hate monkeys or blacks? Are they the same things? (If so, what do we call primates that aren’t chimps, gorillas, baboons or orangutans?)
Frank, please tell me how to think.
The Atrios Buys a T-Shirt poem
for Glenn Reynolds* I was going to buy a three-pack of Fruit of the Loom crew necks in a nice, traditional white But then I thought, What would a white t-shirt say about my commitment to the colored &nb…
I’ll believe Frank J is Atrios when monkeys fly out of Al Sharptons butt. Is that racist?
Here’s the deal: The Left gets to define the phrase “Celebrate Diversity” anyway it chooses. In exchange, heterosexuals get intellectual property rights for the term “marriage.”
Damnit Beavis, hurry up in the bathroom!!
i think i need to make a little visit to thoseshirts.com and spend some of my hard-earned cash.
For the caption contest…..”I’ll show you the meaning of warmonger, you long faced waffler’!”
Hey you commies, I’ve smoked Ah Duzzen of your compatriats. Come & get me…
Ah’m sorry, U mutta f***ahs, CUM & GET ME, or ARGH U ah buncha Cowarrds
FAQ me uppta Azz!!!!
HitlErzAlright,
You freakin’ psycho!!
Of course Frank J is Atrios, anybody can see that. The Atrios before him wrote liberal swill for 10 years in the NY Times and has since retired, after Frank beat him in a ancient Japanese test of courage. The Atrios before him worked to take down the Nixon administration and is really Ben Stein! Anybody who has no see the “Princess Bride” will not get the joke!
Atrios: That’s RACIST!!!!
Normal person: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
inconceivable!
I just ordered me a white one! I’ll go good with my hood.
More Coals on the Fire
Okay, let’s set the stage here. What started as a slow news day has just plain boiled over as a rapid boil. And it’s the whacked out liberal left that’s boiling over. What’s cool is knowing that almost every bit
762 matches for “Monkeys” on this site:
Link
Steve Gilliard should learn to use Google.
sarak wins! as usual
Frank J is Atrios?
What’s next? Rush Limbaugh is Michael Moore?
Sean Hannity is Al Franken?
Oh No! Is George Bush John Kerry?
Of course we already know Kim jong-Il is really Lyle Lovett – the hair gives him away.
I Knew It, He’s Evil
HA!! I always knew Frank was evil, and now I I have proof!
You got it in one, Bite me.
You must be some kind of genius. Ignorant (and redundant) morAns the world over shudder in the light of your unsurpassed intellect.
Kim Jong Il is not Lyle Lovett. I refuse to believe that. Lyle is way too cool. And skinny. And he actually plays his guitar instead of beating dissidents to death with it.
I’m frankly surprised that nobody’s brought up the disturbing “subtext” behind Atrios’ real name–Duncan Black!
If Atrios wasn’t such a vile racist his name would actually be “Duncan African-American.”
that makes me think about doughnuts?
mmmmm, doughnuts.
Hmmmm, there are images of guns on that T-shirt. “Everbody” knows that guns are phallic symbols. So this must mean that Frank and the imature cannine prueer like penises, uh peni? That must mean that they are Homosexual. And everybody knows that homosexuls aren’t racist. Also monkeys have small peni, which explains why Frank doesn’t like them. But why in the heck is the devines Sara K wearing one? I need to rethink this and get a life.
The Boy Who Cried Monkey
I’m having visions of a man riding a bomb, waving a cowboy hat. Yeeeeee-HAW!
don’t cheat me my H, toad.
SaraHHHHHH K.
Atrios post: ha! there’s more finger pointin’ going on over there than Sally Struthers in a donut shop.
Frank, isn’t this admission pretty much gonna kill your shot at the gig over at NRO?
And therefore must be a witch
Over at IMAO, Frank J. has a problem. It seems that he is linked up with the Puppy Blender in a controversy about a shirt. It seems that a “Celebrate Diversity” shirt about the diversity of guns that Glenn wears…
Diversity and other family values
My reaction to this unbelievable nonsense? No monkeying around; I bought one of the “racist” T-shirts. While I’ll try to be polite to the people who do it, I have nothing but contempt for the tactic of engaging in name…
So Frank was the Dread Pirate Atrios. You see, it’s all in the name. No one would ever surrender their vessel to the Dread Pirate Frank. And so it continued each night. Frank would say to me, “good night. Sleep well; I’ll most likely kill you in the morning.”
I’m surprised no one has caught on to the fact that Frank’s continued use of “Aquaman” is a code word for the senior senator from Massachussetts…
I wonder if Al Sharpton ever eats Chunky Monkey ice cream?
Liberals still think they own the language and that they will define who and what makes one a racist.
Of course they are always long on name calling and short on supportable facts.
After all, for lib’s, the charge is more important than facts. Facts just get in the way.
Go figure . . . .
Always good to visit this blog.
Man, I missed this entire kerfluffle. Now I have to go read all the trackbacks and links to try and catch up. Someone send me a memo next time!
And I see sarah used capital letters! Surely the end is nigh! Or did someone finally buy her a “shift” key? I bet it was rightwingduck … he is so whipped.
S
sandor, i just got to missing frank too much and hoped it would bring him back… and ducky’s my sweet little blogson, so i hope by “whipped” you meant “nice to his blogma”.
besides… i only used capitals to scream my ire at someone leaving the h off the end of my name. it makes me want to punch hippies when people do that.
Makes you want to punch hippies? Well, okay, Sara, I hope I never forget, Sara, to put an h on the end of your name. So, Sara, feeling a little punchy? I have to say, Sara, I’m reeeeaaal glad I’m not a hippie.
Sara. 🙂
Bamboozle, you take back that filthy comment about Aquaman. You know he can’t defend himself. Poor Aquaman.
Oh Keyh, I gonnah praticeh, sarahk, sarahk, sarahk, srarak, sarahk, sarahk. Darn i sound the bill the cat hacking up a hair ball. Oh well, sarahk, sarahk, sarahk, sarahk, sarahk, sarahk, sarahk, sarahk.
toad, i thank you. wolfie!! don’t you know we have no hippies in amarillo?? we have 1 democrat, though. but i work with her, and she’s nice, so i don’t wanna punch her. so you leave me stressed out with no one to punch!!
Go mow the lawn? :{
Sorry, should have read closer. Makes you WANT to punch a hippie.
No hippies in Amirillo? What am I doing here, then? Sure there’s military, there’s the Amish (don’t tell that racist, Frank), but there’s also St. Mary’s College. A lib-fest if I ever saw one.
“so you leave me stressed out with no one to punch!!”
Two words, Sarah: road trip. >:oD
toga, to-ga, toooo-gaaaaa!
Sophmore dies in kiln explosion.
Fawn Liebowitz and she was from Ft. Wayne, Indiana.
After all what is SarahK without the oo-
RAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“After all what is SarahK without the oo-
RAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
still devine?
(shameless, I know, but it’s a slow day for me)
Hey look its Otis Day and the Nights at the Dexter Lake Club! He loves us!
–Otter
Atrios’ John Nashesque t-shirt reading is proof they need to bring back the Beatles, so he can stare at the album covers looking for hidden meanings and so not be such a danger to himself in public.
Can I still use the word lemur?
Otis! My man!
We’re the only white people here.
Do you min’ if we dance wif yo dates?
..I’m going to have to watch this movie now. 🙂
Curse you Bingley!
Mr. Bingley cracked my secret Perversion Catalyst Code in a comment here: Important announcement! you think the “davinci code” was detective work? i, your humble servant of truth, have cracked the Perversion Catalyst Code! behold, and be amazed: Assass…
VOTE OUT BUSH AND HELP SHUT DOWN FOXNEWS AND WARBLOGGER DIGITAL BROWNSHIRTS. VOTE OUT BUSH AND HELP SHUT DOWN FOXNEWS AND WARBLOGGER DIGITAL BROWNSHIRTS. VOTE OUT BUSH AND HELP SHUT DOWN FOXNEWS AND WARBLOGGER DIGITAL BROWNSHIRTS. VOTE OUT BUSH AND HELP SHUT DOWN FOXNEWS AND WARBLOGGER DIGITAL BROWNSHIRTS. VOTE OUT BUSH AND HELP SHUT DOWN FOXNEWS AND WARBLOGGER DIGITAL BROWNSHIRTS.
Say it over and over and it does have a nice rythm to it.
Franky Baby!!!!
You are back!
You are awake!
Please do something about these muckadoos and that pervert that linked the big butts.
Thank you, sir.
Frank is a filthy liar. He not Atrios. I know this for a fact.
dont suppose anyone has any suggestions on reading the comments on atrios’s site? i read for five minutes and then start to feel my iq drop, is there a way to prevent this? or should i just give up and not bother reading any more comments there?
JacenR,
Small doses.
Read a paragraph or two than back away from the screen or go to Hello Infidels! and read some of my posts and then come back to Apoplexy’s site.
Frank J. you are funnier than funny itself, and jen’s comment once again is cracking me up too (jen you need more comments)
heynow that i think about not only are ninja’s evil, but they wear black…they too are racist…ahhh and ninja monkeys with black are doubly racist…it’s a real conspiracy. wait…who are yyyy gua yaaaaaaaaaaaaa…
…this user is temporarily unavailable
That’s a Quote!
So I just shared with my husband IMAO’s link on the whole Celebrate Diversity T-Shirt Scandal. He followed the links and stated:"This guy is so PC he couldn’t even find an Apple."The monkey analysis Gilliard provides truly fits the quote
Diversity
Just for fun I made a “diversity” skin. Something to do with the fuss about that t-shirt.
LAST!!! (for now)