Yes, I now got a paying job writing radio ads for anti-Bush organizations. You may say it’s selling out, but I say…
Screw you! I like money!
You can hear the first one here (and, no, that’s not me doing any of the voices).
Yes, I now got a paying job writing radio ads for anti-Bush organizations. You may say it’s selling out, but I say…
Screw you! I like money!
You can hear the first one here (and, no, that’s not me doing any of the voices).
FIRST!!!!!1
FIRST!!!!!1
Whoops… Sorry (and second, and third)
Ah man, I wanted to get the patent on pure evil…
As someone who’s written radio ads for a paycheck, I give you big thumbs up Frank!
I especially like the “no commercial by products”. Talk about efficiency.
Remember: Earth first, then we pave the other planets.
Hey, Frank. There’s something in this for you. Enjoy, and put it to good use. 🙂
You seller outer! How dare you! You should be gutted and dropped from a really, really high bridge.
Oh wait, guess I should have looked at the title…that was satire? I thought it was a DNC ad. Oh well.
No hard feelings, eh?
Oop! Almost forgot! Kudos on the writing position, even if it’s not regarding your position… Nice landing
FRANK, YOU HAVE OUT DONE YOURSELF. FUNNIEST.EVER.
Jason
Austin, Texas
Oustanding!!!
Well done, Frank!
Sell that one to Glen Beck. He’ll get lots of mileage out of it.
Plug your Halliburton T-shirts during your next ad.
Jack.
Hey, Frank! I might have found a way for you to generate interest in S.M.I.T.E.! The DOD war game Urban Resolve gives analysts “a chance to peek into the future by introducing weapons and tools that don’t yet exist into their battle scenarios.” Doesn’t that sound like – all together now – S.M.I.T.E.?
http://www.wired.com/news/technology/
0,1282,65403,00.html?tw=wn_tophead_1
“You can say, ‘Let’s create a sensor that detects people by the glare of their bald heads,'” said Dan Davis, an ISI director who worked with Lucas on the project. “If you can describe it, you can put it in.”
Get them to put S.M.I.T.E. into their scenario, they realize the potential, and – cha-ching! – DOD funding pours in! And maybe the bald head detector could be incorporated into S.M.I.T.E. as an extra-cost option (further enriching its developer).
Excellent.
Damn – there goes my pinky toe.
LMAO! I’m forwarding this to Terry McAwful… they need new material.
Waaaaaaaaaaait, that’s the KTE: Halliburton list put into audio! Fantastic!
I especially like the meowing after the part about Halliburton using chem. weapons on kittens. Nice touch.
Like always
very funny
Very funny! A great way to make the leftists think you’re doing them a favor, but you actually make them look bad, and make money off of them as well. Cool!
HAHAH! That was pretty damn funny. Almost like something offa Blame Bush or something.
Hey, send it to Rush, he will definitely play it on air. Wow, Frank, you are big time now!
That was truly beautiful!
Wow! You’re definitely on to something here! You could do this with all of your KTE lists! Then you’d have enough for a BIG diamond set in platinum!!
you have GOT to get on the air, Frank. This is easily one of your best moments!
Nice one… I especially liked the ominous music in the background… nice.
I simply MUST stop reading things or clicking on things on this site while drinking… milk was not meant to come out of the nose…
Frank,
Mountain Mama is right.. Get this to Rush.
Sorry about the Yankees (remember they are Pee Wee Herman’s favorite team)
As a current employee of Halliburton’s, I have to ask… What was so damning in that ad anyway? If anything, I think the makers of it served only to shoot themselves in the foot while increasing our voting base. Well done FrankJ!!
Rush would appreciate this ad.
I need to check out the styles of Halliburton style patio furniture, Dad could need stuff for the back deck.
Oh and Frank? :p
I told you over at SarahK’s
“Just wait and see, oh great Frank J”
The Evil Empire has fallen!
Good has triumphed over evil.
I love my BOSox!
I just fired off an e-mail to kerry and the national democratic party asking them if offering crack for votes was the best they could do. Can not wait to see what they will say in reply. That is if they have the guts to reply.
see frank? told you, Glenn Beck!
yay Glenn Beck!
Maybe in your next radio ad you can let everyone know that Halliburton is also recycling doggy dodo and packaging it as vegetarian sausage.
This must come out, people have a right to know.
You funny me likey.
Sorry Mr. J, if that is your real name, but you have just bought yourself one serious lawsuit.
Claiming yourself as the writer of our latest campaign ad is illegal, unconstitutional, and a violation of our basic human rights. We have contacted the UN and France and asked permission to be cross with you. As soon as the UN Committee for Acomplishing Nothing of Any Importance in the World votes to give us authority to have righteous indignation and ire regarding your attempt to steal our intellectual property we will begin proceedings.
Further attempts to destroy our life, liberty and pursuit of happiness through your fraud will result in an escalated response. You should be warned that a UN subcommittee is already debating whether or not we would be supported in the international community if we through a tantrum. So, you can see, we take these things very seriously.
P.S. Cheney’s daughter is a lesbian, and we support her.
P.P.S. Does my hair look okay?
Sincerely,
John Edwards
sorry, through=threw
damn synonyms!
I love the kitty part!!! Did you recruit Minerva for that line? Funny stuff…yea, Rush would love it!
Whoa, that like SO freaked me out… When I opened Frank’s sound clip, it opened and played in SonicStage player for my MiniDisc player, where I had transferred Ann Coulter’s Audio Book version of TREASON to MD so I could listen to it while I work in the server room at my client’s office.
When Frank’s clip was done, it moved seamlessly right on into Ann Coulter doing her thing – slamming liberals.
LOL – Total mindbender there… 🙂
I’m pretty sure those Halliburton guys have been painting smelly brown stripes down the center of my underwear while I sleep at night.
As you can imagine it is quite annoying and is putting somewhat of a damper on my love life.
Now that the truth is coming out maybe I can return the favor.
Your first try? That was excellent. It goes in my collection with Lileks’ “Your Agonizer Please” and the myriad “Yarg” mixes.
Nice touch the kitty’s meow.
Since we all like Frank’s “Evil Haliburton” commercial and want radio hosts like Glen Beck or Rush Limbaugh to play it, I think EVERYONE here should send those hosts’ producers an e-mail with the link to
http://www.imao.us/archives/002128.html
If Frank J. sends the e-mail, it will look like he’s “self-promoting” but if we do it, it will show that Frank J. has a fan base that also listens to their shows.
These are the e-mail addresses for the major talk show hosts’ producers:
Rush Limbaugh:
ideas@rushonline.com
Sean Hannity:
james.grisham@abc.com
(“Grisham”? Hey, isn’t that the guy that writes lawyer books?)
Glen Beck:
stu@glennbeck.com
Laura Ingraham:
suggestions@lauraingraham.com
Michael Savage:
michaelsavage@paulreveresociety.com
Jerry Doyle:
askjerry@jerrydoyle.com
Michael Medved:
medvedshow@aol.com
G. Gordon Liddy:
gordonliddy@aol.com
Michael Reagan:
silva@premrad.com
Rusty Humphries:
rusty@talktorusty.com
That was great.
Please, do more!
I LOVE it!!!
There’s only one problem ….
every time someone on our side does some over-the-top satire …
they do an ad which proves it wasn’t over-the-top at all.
I expect they’ll steal it & play it straight any moment now.
FACT! That’s a funny commercial. But what do I know. I’m just another puppy-blending seal-clubbing right winger.
Fortunately, you’ll get to give most of it back in taxes, thanks to your chosen candidate. Unless, of course, you’re being bumped up to the Kerry-Heinz-Soros level. Not likely. Enjoy the next few months.
BWAAHAHAHAHA.Monty python LIVES,way to go Frank.
It’s good to see some moderation and civility back in the campaign.
Great job of advertising! How can I make me some of that dough? I’ve been waiting sixty years to be co-opted, Lord knows I’m ready.
best
Great job of advertising! How can I make me some of that dough? I’ve been waiting sixty years to be co-opted, Lord knows I’m ready.
best
You’re hired! Al Franken needs new material!
Loved it, loved it, loved it! Only for some reason, I expected it to end with “I’m George Bush, and I did not approve this message.”
Many thanks for all the great information. I just purchased 4,000 additional shares.
I’d forgotten how truly evil Halliburton is. I’ll invest my money in evil corporations any day versus those losers that tree huggers buy.
Cheeers.
FACT: Frank – unknown even to his own somewhat uninformed and politically igmorant self – is mostly telling the truth about Halliburton.
You better watch who you call “igmorant,” Froggy!
Hey sean m., – igmorant is a newly coined word that easily defines someone like you – it’s short for “ignorant moron” 😉
Frank, bambino!
‘Frankly’ 😉 I think your ad is transparently partisan, just the sort of thing a hypocritical drug addict loser like Limbaugh would run. btw, he’s different than most drug addicts because he continues to bash his own people (other drug addicts) – thus the word “hypocrite”
Or something a sicko employee molester like O’Reilly would yuk it up about while he sits on his vibrator.
Or something Sean Hannity would run between the uncontrollable tirades that make you wonder if he ever got enough time at the tit when he was little.
Bottom line: Kerry is gonna win this thing, and the stone age policies that neocons want to put in place are gone forever because the world is just moving to fast. So hop on the train, or stay in your horse and carriage.
Gee, I love the way George Bush has united this country, don’t you? 🙂
Does the sound cut out in mid-sentence when you are listening to Frank’s satirical radio ads? The fix for that problem is FREE!
Download the latest media players for your computer:
MAC
http://www.apple.com/quicktime/download
WINDOWS
http://www.microsoft.com/windows/windowsmedia/mp10/default.aspx
NOTE: French Internet users won’t pay for the free software but will pay the regular per-minute Internet access fees. Unlike America, most French Internet services are metered rather than a flat rate… Just another reason why the French are jealous of America.
HALLIBURTON IS PEOPLE!!!!
I only thought Halliburton was a little evil. Now I know it is a lot evil. Thanks.
Does this mean I can sell kittens to Halliburton instead of just giving them away for free? W00T!
hey! When did Haliburton acquire microsoft’s patent on pure evil?
hey! When did Haliburton acquire microsoft’s patent on pure evil?
Oh man… I was dying of laughter for every single “FACT”.
that was beautifully done.
charlemag exhibits the psychological condition known as “projection”.
This is so funny. Its perfect!
That was a good post, thank you!
Interesting… that’s good info to know.