Now that Colin Powell is resigning, who should be Secretary of State?
I say the Incredible Hulk. We need more of a pro-smash stuff approach to diplomacy.
What do you think?
Darth Vador. Can you imagine him addressing the UN General Assembly?
DV : We have reason to believe that Iran has WMD
French UN delegate: Why should we believe you…gaah! (sound of delegate being choked)
DV: I find your lack of faith distrubing. By the way, we’ve decided to give the Gaza Strip to Israel
Another UN delegate: That was never part of our agreement!
DV: I am altering our agreement. Pray I don’t alter it more.
I dunno, Frank….
But if you can nominate the Hulk, I guess I’ll go with Wolverine (the original, that is, from X-men 100 on – I don’t know what Marvel is doing with him these days….)
Condoleezza to Secretary of Defense (she’d be a good one!).
Rumsfeld to State. I would love to see him deal with those diplomats from those pansy countries like France.
That dude who’d the sherrif of Maricopa County, Arizona. He used to always be on the news cause he dressed his inmates in pink coveralls, fed them bologna sandwiches, and made them pick trash on the highways. The ACLU pussies hated him, which is all the qualification he needs, in my opinion.
As long as we are throwing fictional characters into the mix I think that Jack Bristow deserves a place in the Bush administration. But realistically give Coldi Rummy’s position and give Rummy State.
I nominate myself. As old Jack Burton says; “Sometimes you gotta grab the bull by the horns and just nominate yourself for stuff. Well folks, what more can a guy ask for? May the wings of Liberty never lose a feather”…
i think William Munny from Missouri whi killed every thing that fly, crawl or walk on this earth at one moment or the other of his life, although he can’t remember it because he was drunk most of the time… (CLINT EASTWOOD in UNFORGIVEN) or dirty Harry would be a good pick too!
The guy who played the former fighter pilot President in “Independence Day.” Or Maybe Will Smith for his role in that movie and both Men in Black roles…
I nominate Batman. He’s a master tactican and stratagist. He made plans the successfully took out the entire Justice League. Plus the was someone we didn’t like, we just make them his love interest or sidekick. That’s an instant death wish.
Randall “Duke” Cunningham!!!
Anybody that would call Patsy Schroeder a socialist on the house floor would make a great SecState. He would call the French cowardly surrender monkeys, the Saudi hypocritical terrorist supporing monkeys, the UN corrupt, money wasting monkeys, the Chinese communist monkeys…
Wait!
I second Stewie Griffin – during negotiations he could beat foreign dignitaries about the head and neck with a baseball bat saying “what did you learn?”
How about Jesse Ventura?
Executive experience. naturally diplomatic, and with a flair for ‘hands-on’ management.
Imagine him giving his French counterpart a pile driver to cap off negotiations regarding French suport for Iraq.
Yoo-hoo!!
I second AngryCuban’s nom for Randy Cunningham. In addition to doing that to Patsi, he’s a NAVAL AVIATOR and our first ACE in the Vietnam war….that will most likely cause jfK to do the honorable thing for good..
HAHAHAHAHA!
Is Aquaman disqualified? He could create a broad coalition of marine life from all parts of the globe to assist us. Unfortunately, most of the wars we fight seem to take place on land …
I’ve thought more about this, and I think Lionel Richie should be our next Secretary of State. He could sway other nations to see things our way with his dulcet tones. Just think how good a mood the UN general assembly would be in after listening to Lionel sing “Easy Like Sunday Morning” before getting down to business.
I add my vote for Gunny! As long as he can still do Mail Call as well.
“Mr President, WHY AREN’T YOU STOMPING THE GUTS OUT OF PRIVATE CHIRAC?”
Oh, wouldn’t that be great!
Bob Owens:
I reject your Frank J nom…..what were you thinking? He’d be too busy slapping liberals around to write In My World stuff for us…geez….
Quit sucking up to the blog owner…are you on his payroll?
🙂
Jesus.
Because sometimes, “What would Jesus do?” results in, “Get ticked off and kick over tables.”
Not to mention he’s just too darn likeable for anyone to mouth off against, sees through everyone’s debating tactics (imagine Jesus versus the press!), and can cure Cheney’s heart problems.
Zell, Arnold, Rudy, Condi, … great picks.
Former Speaker of the House, from Georgia, got screwed over, I’m having a brain fart.
Somebody help me, I’m from Ohio.
NEWT!
Three words.
VIC.
MACKEY.
SHEILD!
He can talk nice to your face, but you still know you’re about to get jacked up if you don’t follow the rules. Or if he knows you’re a liar. But remember, no Cletis. Please, no Cletis. He’d just bone a French babe, and commit us to something stupid, then pee on Tony Blair’s favorite chair or something.
Damm, I hate Cletus!!!
In the world of comic book fiction, I would agree wholeheartedly with “The Incredible Hulk”; in reality I would think Natural Security Advisor Condi Rice.
I also believe that Gen. Tommy Franks, U.S. Army, Ret. will be a great Natural Security Advisor.
President Bush has a mandate and a greater majority in the U.S. Senate, so there’s no need for him to reach-out to the other side of the asile the way he had to in his first term. President Bush ran this year on a more conservative agenda and we’ll see it, now, too.
That’s my comment here, from Staten Island, New York, where I used to be able to look up the block and see the Twin Towers across the river in lower Manhattan.
I’m technically still a student, but I could use a side job at the moment.
Wait. As Secretary of State, would I actually get to blow stuff up, or would I have go to meetings and stuff?
Better yet, do I get to blow up meetings?
I like the Jesse Venture suggestion… Or Ann Coulter!! Think of the ratings she’d get for her press conferences! Also, come 2008 election season if we ever drop a bit in the polls we can just put her on tv for a few minutes and all will go back to goodness again. She’d be great dealing with foreign leaders,
“Hey, Kim Jong, unless you hold free and open elections and convert your country to Christianity by next Thursday, we’re going to send over Charlton Heston to shoot you in the head with a big fcking gun that shoots huge fcking bullets.”
Um… The Rock. In addition to being a good Republican, I just love his, “If you smell what The Rock is cooking” line. wink Could you picture this guy talking to the UN??? BWA HA HA HA!!! And I like his rippling, hot, bod. purr
If we’re nominating fictional characters, my choice is Kull of Atlantis from Robert E. Howard’s ‘King Kull’ stories: “The UN is weak and corrupted! Your pathetic nations have a simple choice — fight America, or obey America! My axe and I await your reply.”
On a more realistic note, how about having Condoleeza Rice and Ann Coulter jello-wrestle for the position?
Hopefully, Powell is just gearing up for a run in 2008. I think he would be the ideal candidate, he would steal the thunder of the Libs trying to run Hillary(woman candidate) by throwing another (minority–Hah) into the race. But, I am really sorry to see him go.
i gotta go with Mark here. Jack Bristow would walk into the UN, take a glance around the room and command, “fear me. that is all.”
they’d do as he said, because he’s Spydaddy, Master of the Universe.
as long as we are talking fiction, that sheriff from the original walking tall movies…the one who carried a big ol’ chunk of oak and beat people who didn’t listen to him. “you’re gonna help out in iraq, or i’ll bash your skull in with this stick.”
Christopher Walken… Could you imagine having to negotiate with that guy? He gives me the creeps. If not him… How about Bob Munden, the super fast shooter guy?
Green Lantern
Condi
Does this mean we get an extra-happy dance?
Chomps
I say dispand the State Dept. They’ve proven themselves worse than worthless – they are subversive, domestically.
Darth Vador. Can you imagine him addressing the UN General Assembly?
DV : We have reason to believe that Iran has WMD
French UN delegate: Why should we believe you…gaah! (sound of delegate being choked)
DV: I find your lack of faith distrubing. By the way, we’ve decided to give the Gaza Strip to Israel
Another UN delegate: That was never part of our agreement!
DV: I am altering our agreement. Pray I don’t alter it more.
I dunno, Frank….
But if you can nominate the Hulk, I guess I’ll go with Wolverine (the original, that is, from X-men 100 on – I don’t know what Marvel is doing with him these days….)
Think the Iranians caving in this weekend had anything to do with this?
State is going Condo(leeza).
How about Gandalf?
“Meddle not in the affairs of America, for thou art flammable and located at 31°N/51°E.
Rove. LOL
Condoleezza to Secretary of Defense (she’d be a good one!).
Rumsfeld to State. I would love to see him deal with those diplomats from those pansy countries like France.
That dude who’d the sherrif of Maricopa County, Arizona. He used to always be on the news cause he dressed his inmates in pink coveralls, fed them bologna sandwiches, and made them pick trash on the highways. The ACLU pussies hated him, which is all the qualification he needs, in my opinion.
Ah-nuld.
The Punisher
I say we jam a stick up arafat’s ass
and wave him around as Secretary of
State.
Let’s see france and the plo deal with
that.
Joe Leiberman. heh. I smile when I think of him going on a visit to Saudi, Egypt, Pakistan, Iran……
Rumsfeld. no question about it.
As long as we are throwing fictional characters into the mix I think that Jack Bristow deserves a place in the Bush administration. But realistically give Coldi Rummy’s position and give Rummy State.
Only one choice: Zell Miller
Sorry about the coarse language.
France and arafat make me grouchy.
I nominate myself. As old Jack Burton says; “Sometimes you gotta grab the bull by the horns and just nominate yourself for stuff. Well folks, what more can a guy ask for? May the wings of Liberty never lose a feather”…
John Ashcroft, He’s Funny looking and makes liberals Cry. And he needs work.
i think William Munny from Missouri whi killed every thing that fly, crawl or walk on this earth at one moment or the other of his life, although he can’t remember it because he was drunk most of the time… (CLINT EASTWOOD in UNFORGIVEN) or dirty Harry would be a good pick too!
The guy who played the former fighter pilot President in “Independence Day.” Or Maybe Will Smith for his role in that movie and both Men in Black roles…
But not Jeff Goldblum…he’d want to sign Kyoto….
I nominate Batman. He’s a master tactican and stratagist. He made plans the successfully took out the entire Justice League. Plus the was someone we didn’t like, we just make them his love interest or sidekick. That’s an instant death wish.
Dr. Doom or Zell Miller would be great.
Randall “Duke” Cunningham!!!
Anybody that would call Patsy Schroeder a socialist on the house floor would make a great SecState. He would call the French cowardly surrender monkeys, the Saudi hypocritical terrorist supporing monkeys, the UN corrupt, money wasting monkeys, the Chinese communist monkeys…
My vote goes to Professor X. He could totally screw with everyone’s head.
Frank- I nominate you. Will you accept the nomination? If not, then I nominate Mr. Burns or Stewie Griffin.
Verbal Kent from the Usual Suspects.
Hellboy
His negotiating style involves a really big gun
Wait!
I second Stewie Griffin – during negotiations he could beat foreign dignitaries about the head and neck with a baseball bat saying “what did you learn?”
Indiana Jones, he has a shoot first and inspect the corpses policy, plus his name is a State. So he can be the Sec…oh, never mind.
Fox Moulder. I heart Fox Moulder. The truth is out there.
tiger woods! with a swing like that he can club all the un secretaries like baby seals!
How about Jesse Ventura?
Executive experience. naturally diplomatic, and with a flair for ‘hands-on’ management.
Imagine him giving his French counterpart a pile driver to cap off negotiations regarding French suport for Iraq.
Yoo-hoo!!
I nominate Gunny R. Lee Ermey. Would love to see him at the UN screaming “WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR MALFUNCTION, NUMBNUTS!” at the French delegate.
I second AngryCuban’s nom for Randy Cunningham. In addition to doing that to Patsi, he’s a NAVAL AVIATOR and our first ACE in the Vietnam war….that will most likely cause jfK to do the honorable thing for good..
HAHAHAHAHA!
Lets have the entire UN staying up at night wondering…..
“WHO IS KEYZER SOZE?!?!”
BWHAHAHAHAHA
I’d have to second Gunny. “lets test this ballistic nuke button and see the diplomatic results”
Is Aquaman disqualified? He could create a broad coalition of marine life from all parts of the globe to assist us. Unfortunately, most of the wars we fight seem to take place on land …
The Punisher. Gettin’ back at people is what he’s all about. Maybe he could team up with Buck the Marine.
Rudy Giulliani gets my vote
I’ll third R Lee Ermey. If he’s not available, then how about Jack Nicholson
‘YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!’
Woo Hoo !
I’ve thought more about this, and I think Lionel Richie should be our next Secretary of State. He could sway other nations to see things our way with his dulcet tones. Just think how good a mood the UN general assembly would be in after listening to Lionel sing “Easy Like Sunday Morning” before getting down to business.
I third Congressman Randall “Duke” Cunningham. Good choice.
I’d have to say John Wayne. Come on, with all of the tech we have don’t you think we could make a clone or something?
Aquaman. What better Cause Belli than having our Secretary of State beaten up by foriegn diplomats?
“They beat up our Secretary of State? BOMB THEM!”
I woulda said Jesse Ventura but since he started teaching at Harvard he’s gone all mushy.
I think Zell Miller would be the best fit.
I add my vote for Gunny! As long as he can still do Mail Call as well.
“Mr President, WHY AREN’T YOU STOMPING THE GUTS OUT OF PRIVATE CHIRAC?”
Oh, wouldn’t that be great!
Damn, megan beat me too it. But I suggested it to the all-powerful puppy blender.
Perhaps we should all lobby him?
Thank would be the Frank J nomination, BTW…
Everybody’s indicating that it will be Condi. I’m all for it!
Tony Soprano — fuggetaboutit!
Bob Owens:
I reject your Frank J nom…..what were you thinking? He’d be too busy slapping liberals around to write In My World stuff for us…geez….
Quit sucking up to the blog owner…are you on his payroll?
🙂
Jesus.
Because sometimes, “What would Jesus do?” results in, “Get ticked off and kick over tables.”
Not to mention he’s just too darn likeable for anyone to mouth off against, sees through everyone’s debating tactics (imagine Jesus versus the press!), and can cure Cheney’s heart problems.
Curt said:
Quit sucking up to the blog owner…are you on his payroll?
Nope, nor his blogroll. So der, sparky. 😉
Master Shake! Or maybe even Carl. Yeah Carl…….
Zell, Arnold, Rudy, Condi, … great picks.
Former Speaker of the House, from Georgia, got screwed over, I’m having a brain fart.
Somebody help me, I’m from Ohio.
NEWT!
Or is it Newman?
How ’bout Tommy Franks. He’s used to kickin’ ass and taking names.
Ann Coulter. R. Lee Ermwy as under secretary role, I’m sure he’d be willing…
Coulter and Ermey, Ermey, Ermey
Three words.
VIC.
MACKEY.
SHEILD!
He can talk nice to your face, but you still know you’re about to get jacked up if you don’t follow the rules. Or if he knows you’re a liar. But remember, no Cletis. Please, no Cletis. He’d just bone a French babe, and commit us to something stupid, then pee on Tony Blair’s favorite chair or something.
Damm, I hate Cletus!!!
In the world of comic book fiction, I would agree wholeheartedly with “The Incredible Hulk”; in reality I would think Natural Security Advisor Condi Rice.
I also believe that Gen. Tommy Franks, U.S. Army, Ret. will be a great Natural Security Advisor.
President Bush has a mandate and a greater majority in the U.S. Senate, so there’s no need for him to reach-out to the other side of the asile the way he had to in his first term. President Bush ran this year on a more conservative agenda and we’ll see it, now, too.
That’s my comment here, from Staten Island, New York, where I used to be able to look up the block and see the Twin Towers across the river in lower Manhattan.
Dude! Ron Jeremy!
Nothin’ like nekkid diplomacy! Plus, Ron Jeremy has this way of intimidating other men, if you know what I mean!
Okay, okay, okay. I figrued it out: Dr. Strangelove
I’m technically still a student, but I could use a side job at the moment.
Wait. As Secretary of State, would I actually get to blow stuff up, or would I have go to meetings and stuff?
Better yet, do I get to blow up meetings?
I nominate myself, me, Dan.
Cartman. Respect my authority, Jew!
I second the nom for Stewie Griffin.
He’s smart, evil, and who doesn’t love babies?
I like the Jesse Venture suggestion… Or Ann Coulter!! Think of the ratings she’d get for her press conferences! Also, come 2008 election season if we ever drop a bit in the polls we can just put her on tv for a few minutes and all will go back to goodness again. She’d be great dealing with foreign leaders,
“Hey, Kim Jong, unless you hold free and open elections and convert your country to Christianity by next Thursday, we’re going to send over Charlton Heston to shoot you in the head with a big fcking gun that shoots huge fcking bullets.”
It’s Condi!!!!! YEAH!!!!!
RoboPatton
And then Giuliani can be the NSA, paving the way to run for POTUS in ’08.
Awesome ‘Team America’!
Mongo no Like UN
Mongo go blow up UN
Mongo be good Secy State
Mongo live in a state
Mongo PO’d all day anyway
Samuel L. Jackson. He can scream at other countries for no reason whatsoever.
Um… The Rock. In addition to being a good Republican, I just love his, “If you smell what The Rock is cooking” line. wink Could you picture this guy talking to the UN??? BWA HA HA HA!!! And I like his rippling, hot, bod. purr
How about John McCain?
He’s great on foreign policy; this would keep him from going off the reservation on the domestic stuff.
It was just on CNN… it’s Condi!
If we’re nominating fictional characters, my choice is Kull of Atlantis from Robert E. Howard’s ‘King Kull’ stories: “The UN is weak and corrupted! Your pathetic nations have a simple choice — fight America, or obey America! My axe and I await your reply.”
On a more realistic note, how about having Condoleeza Rice and Ann Coulter jello-wrestle for the position?
Hopefully, Powell is just gearing up for a run in 2008. I think he would be the ideal candidate, he would steal the thunder of the Libs trying to run Hillary(woman candidate) by throwing another (minority–Hah) into the race. But, I am really sorry to see him go.
I’m available. I mean, I could rework my schedule.
If needed.
although I hasten to add, my typing kinda sucks.
i gotta go with Mark here. Jack Bristow would walk into the UN, take a glance around the room and command, “fear me. that is all.”
they’d do as he said, because he’s Spydaddy, Master of the Universe.
Corbin Dallas (“We’re sending someone in to negotiate”)
as long as we are talking fiction, that sheriff from the original walking tall movies…the one who carried a big ol’ chunk of oak and beat people who didn’t listen to him. “you’re gonna help out in iraq, or i’ll bash your skull in with this stick.”
Christopher Walken… Could you imagine having to negotiate with that guy? He gives me the creeps. If not him… How about Bob Munden, the super fast shooter guy?
Holy Crap, Dave – great nomination
“where did he learn to negotiate like that?”
Master Chief
Gimli
Tommy Franks
But now that Condi’s got it, who should replace her?
I’m thinking Tommy Franks.
Or maybe Ann Coulter. 🙂