According to last week’s Newsweek “Periscope” section, the evil religious nuts down in Gitmo were up to no good…
No, not the Islamic terrorists–the real evil religious nuts: The interrogators paid for by the U.S. military-industrial complex. Newsweek‘s so-called top investigative reporters reported that anonymous sources couldn’t bear knowing that members of the vast right wing conspiracy between the U.S. Army, the FBI, and Donald Rumsfeld instructed Gitmo interrogators to flush a Koran down a toilet in front of some of the terrorists in an attempt to torture them. Newsweek‘s story even ended with the conspiratorial “An Army spokesman declined to comment.”
Yeah, the Army declined to comment because none of it was true… Newsweek made the whole thing up and is now trying to backpedal. Much like Dan Rather and his phony memo, the whole story is a lie.
One of the unintended consequences of this lie is the fact that the “Muslim Street” rioted so violently over the phony Newsweek story that fifteen people from Afghanistan to Indonesia are dead.
Now that Newsweek has blood on it’s hands (and directly caused more deaths with their single lie than any of the “torture” done by the photo-happy dopes at Abu Ghraib), their editors are investigating how this phony story was printed. My prediction is that they will most likely find that this whole thing is Karl Rove’s fault.
What are your predictions? Let me know in the Comments:
Is subversion too strong a word here?
No doubt, the evil Karl Rove has struck again duping Newsweek’s reporters into discrediting their own work. First Rove discredited Jason Blain, that paragon of reportage glory. Then he discredited Maureen Dowd creating the now famous Dowdism. Who next? Aquaman may be in Rove’s sites.
Atrios already calling out rove.
check link on my name
I predict that several Americans will finally be able to earn their long-sought “arch-conservative” label with the MSM by quietly asking what happened to the Bibles confiscated from those 40 Pakistani Christian guest workers the Saudis threw in jail a couple of weeks ago.
What will Rove desecrate next? Perhaps next he will fling feces a statue of Vishnu the Hindu god.
Newsweek deserves an AWARD!
I assume it will get blamed on the internet and/or bloggers before this is all done. Newsweek will probably say that the rightwing blogsphere spread this around causing all the damage. I mean it was only one source for this, so bloggers are just as bad as Newsweek becasue the spred this rumor around as well.
Just my guess.
BCN
If the Army had commented, it would have been a denial. That way Newseek could have said “The Army continues to deny allegations that interrogators routinely…”
They’re traitors using the media to report falsehoods which compromise national security by inflaming our enemies. They want to see the Bush administration fail so badly they’ll go to any lengths to make it so. I say try them for treason and then shoot ’em dead.
Or better yet… sue them for libel and slander. They’ve already sold their souls so killing probably wouldn’t effect them much. But take their money away and they’re powerless. It couldn’t hurt to make them a laughingstock either, but that’d probably make the dems that much more enamored with the fools. (Sadly, most of the democrats don’t know that they’re ALREADY laughingstocks)
Charles.
Wipe them out… All of them.
They forgot the “Must site IMAO” line in the original article. Didn’t Frank J. break this one last year?
Predictions:
1. Pigs and monkeys will, indeed, fly out of my butt across the frozen plains of Hell before anything really meaningful will happen to balance out the MSM.
2. I will win $165 million in the next powerball drawing.
3. Atomic power will surpass other more polluting forms of generating electric power during my lifetime.
4. We will all be driving those flying car the Jetsons always promissed us.
5. We shall all learn that indeed men are from Mars and Women are not made from sugar and spice.
6. Illegal aliens working for peanuts, will drive down the price of lawncare, fruits and clothing so much that America’s economy booms taxes are eliminated, and we all live happily ever after.
Lots of yelling,screaming and gnashing of teeth
sue them for libel. let the families of the dead protesters sue them with a wrongful death lawsuit. let the subscribers to Newsweek sue for breach of implied contract (to report the news after all if they want that kind of “news” they would subscribe to the National Enquire), and let the families of any american solider who is killed because some person volunteered to blow themselfs up after reading this sue Newsweek too.
Phony Newsweek article sparks riots in “The Muslim Street”
Right…
’cause they never heard of it before?
Back to the mall with you, lightweight.
I think we should flush some Bibles down the toilet. That’ll show them a thing or two about what’s what!
Only cowards and liberals are unwilling to enlist. Which one are you?
The interrogators will get an NEA grant for their artwork, and the ACLU will defend it as free expression.
I predict the new Star Wars movie will be a crashing drag.
As of 4:47pm PST, my favorite predictions have been from Connecticut Yankee and Homocon.
My favorite rant was from Erik, followed closely by Charles.
You’re all great and I have always applauded IMAO commenters for being some of the wittiest and most learned on any blog I’ve visited.
Thanks everyone!
So while this is going on on the “Muslim Street” isn’t the staff of NewsWeek aware that their jobs are being offshored to “The Kumars at No. 42???
If that’s the case, Newsweek is screwed because I know that Ashwin is a hard taskmaster. Just ask Sanjeev…
Furthermore… so what? Honestly. So what if they burned the Koran? That sounds to me like a valid technique to inflame a terrorist into saying something he’d otherwise not say. Same thing detectives do every day (at least on “Law and Order: SVU” 😉 Sure sounds better than torture to me.
At the very least Newsweek should be charged with several counts of inciting a riot, if not slander and libel against the Army and the United States itself.
But honestly, the real point here is not any of this. My question is quite simply: Why is ANY information from within the prison camp allowed into the media’s hands? True, false, it doesn’t matter. Revealing what goes on inside the prison (or lying about it) is counter-productive to our National Security. The last thing we need are more pissed off Muslims. Yet we need to obtain information from the prisoners.
The solution is simple. A complete information blackout. High clearance required just to be inside the prison, and dissimination of any information regarding what goes on inside is punishable by an immediate court marshall, dishonorable discharge, and prison time, if not a charge of treason.
To that end, whoever originally leaked the pictures and information to the press should be on trial, not the soldiers involved. An internal inquiry, no word of which made it to the press, was the appropriate course of action. Leaking that information to the press was treason, and the person or persons responsible should be on trial.
Charles.