Welcome to the 00000101 00000101 00000101 Edition of the Carnival of Comedy!
I know, I know it’s the second week and maybe I COULD have named it the 2nd Carnival of Comedy but the other carnivals are all way up there on their numbers. Since there’s really no set rules ( I checked) to what number you have to put on a carnival. So I figure why not put a message in binary? Binary things are collections of 2 things, commonly called pairs of things, a couple. It may actually be twice as funny as last week.
The Carnival of Comedy this week, I think, has something for everyone whether you’re a fan of off-the-wall cheap-production math rock or not. I know I am.
I’d like to think I did a somewhat decent job reviewing the entries for content. But let me know in the comments if I missed something that should be warned about. Be sure to leave the funnymakers some comments on their blogs too, if you likey their funny.
With no further ado about nothing, here’s the 00000101 00000101 00000101 Edition of the Carnival of Comedy. A Carnival so nice, Something Something (that’s twice).
ProfShade at ProfShade presents a comedy cut-away diagram of the A380 titled European A380 Airbus Lifts Off
Kyle Dunham at Guns and Glory sits down for a one-on-one dinner date with Michael Moore before the release of F9/11. His (assuming the name Kyle indicates a male individual) account of said dinner date is entitled “Dinner Date With Michael Moore”
J. Fielek at Quibbles-n-Bits says “The King has come! And you can get fries with that!” as he presents The King Has Come
bob at 667 tells how Ed gets a motocycle and in the process discovers Varied and sundry uses for Vaseline [L, S]
Grant Reichert at Creative Destruction presents an idea to make the new Pope more Pope-ular in “New pope can appease reformists by supporting complicated food ”
EquusChick at The Common Room gets a new skirt and has an adventure totally unrelated to aforementioned new skirt. EquusChick presents Going to the City, Or Why You Shouldn’t
Matt offers a post by Justin at A Beard Neglected titled “On Balding”
Did you miss “The Apprentice” when the “job applicants” had the task of “designing” office supply products? Ironman at Political Calculations watches this reality show so you don’t have to! After he did he wrote some stuff so he could give us ‘Designing “The Apprentice”‘
Dana at Northshore Politics presents a sports related post called “This would never happen in New Orleans”
Two Dogs at Mean Ol’ Meany is reading and responding to SPAM and that’s why he (Two Dogs is his native american name, Not two actual dogs) presents BIG-TIME Part II, Oh Yeah, I’m Loaded Now!
Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face has a list of Bush’s Top 9 Ted Kennedy Nicknames [L]
Laurence Simon at IFOC News presents a game you play at home or the ballpark, Roger Clemens Bingo
Uncle Jimbo at Military Matters- Uncle Jimbo presents Most enjoyable brawls I have watched
jimmyb at The Conservative UAW Guy presents his take on Castle Doctrine “Whole State of Florida Killed Today”
Chess Hazlett at chessandlena.comsays “A flat tire, a fast thinker, and the Mysteries of Science… and a legend is born.” when describing Cincinnati Air
Prof. Stephen Hawking at Point Five presents On the Appreciation of Human Beauty [L]
Dan Lovejoy at Dan & Angi have something to say presents But I just want the pizza
Pluto’s Dad at Eyes On The Ball News presents FBI Cracks Down On Octagenarians And about time too, I might add.
Jim McCarthy at Letter From California presents [Bleep], No, We Won’t…What was it Again?
Kid Various at The Idiom pokes fun at a hunger striker in Fish…Barrel…BANG!
Citizen Grim at Right Hand of God presents Michael Moore’s Favorite Red State
David at third world county presents What a deplorable little… meme
Tom McMahon at 4-Block World presents Left Vs Right and at Tom McMahon presents The Movie Jaws On Different TV Channels
Bozark Manchew at Fireworks Rule! presents Finally! Out of Jail!
Sam Johnson at I am abused mentally by my colon presents You Got The Dog Pregnant
James Wigderson at Wigderson Library & Pub presents Mom’s Day and Dante’s Inferno
Jeff Miller at The Curt Jester presents Self Defense for Bureaucrats
Ferdinand T. Cat at Conservative Cat presents Bias
Lana at live from the guillotine presents Mawage and gets bonus points for the ‘Princess Bride’ reference.
Unknown Blogger Frank J. at IMAO presents his luckily incorrect prediction as to what he would post May 3rd, 2005 – In My Possible Future World: The Howard Dean Presidency Shudder
Patriot Xeno at Right Hand of God presents A List of Things the Good Looking Girl Working in the Bank Downstairs is Probably Not Saying to Her Coworkers About Me
John Hatch at Ideas Hatched presents Clinton Takes on Obesity
The Man at GOP and the City presents Macho Macho Man Caption Contest
Gus Van Horn at Gus Van Horn presents Chinese Leader Accepts Olive Branch
Pete at The Chapin Nation presents a tragic account of what happens when the “U.S. Mint Sells Out.”
Lee Zanello at See The Donkey says he had a band, yada yada yada and then tells us “funny stuff is in the music downloads at the bottom of the page.” as he presents The Comedic Wunderband: Yodacock [couldn’t preview all the songs but he ones I did were clean-ish]
The Babaganoosh at The Baba Gannouj gives us ten quick facts about something called the “Committee on Committees”. He calls it “Again With The Bureaucracy”
Spacemonkey, your host, enters some foolishness about Coca Cola Zero – The Binary Cola
Thanks for submitting funny, reading funny, linking funny, commenting funny or just plain looking funny. Thanks for whatever role you played in this 00000101 00000101 00000101 Edition of the Carnival of Comedy!
Want to enter next week’s Carnival Of Comedy? Go here. Take part in the humor roundup.
Archive of entries posted on 5th May 2005
Fun Trivia
Slutty Cheerleaders and Terrorism
Look at Michelle Malkin and her prudishness. What a sourpuss. We should do what we bloggers do best and digitally lynch her.
How is that done again? Oh yeah, we talk about her on our blogs. I guess I already did that so… uh… Take that Malkin!
Then again, I’m a social conservative myself, and am constantly watching T.V. saying, “I wouldn’t want my theoretical kids watching this trash.” Thus, maybe I should listen more to Malkin and reevaluate myself.
This brings me to my main topic: slutty cheerleaders.
Now, I briefly touched on this issue yesterday, but I think I should give it more focus. While it doesn’t relate to the most important issue we face today – that being “where is my coffee” – it does relate to the second most important issue we face today: terrorism.
“Wait a second!” you’re probably yelling at your computer screen, scaring those around you, “How is terrorism so important to you? Who’s trying to blow you up?”
Well, no one is trying to blow me up at this moment. Melbourne, Florida, isn’t exactly high on the terrorist’s target list – it probably doesn’t even make the top one hundred. On the other hand, my brother is in Iraq, and every once in a while I get a call where he says, “Man! There are terrorists all around here and they’re trying to kill me. Me! Granted, they suck at it, but still!”
And what am I to say to that except, “Well, you should hear about my day!”
“Why? What happened?”
“On the way to my office, I nodded off and walked into a wall.”
“Egads! How could such a predicament occur?”
“I didn’t have enough coffee!”
“How could you not have enough coffee?”
“I don’t where it is!”
“You should know where your coffee is.”
“Absolutely! It’s the most important issue I face today!”
Anyway, some of you are wondering what do slutty cheerleaders have to do with terrorism. Others of you had completely forgotten I mentioned slutty cheerleaders. You’d be the women. The guys were constantly shouting through that previous sequence, “Get to the slutty cheerleaders!” (this would probably also disturb people around you, but some will just understand that’s guys being guys).
So, I had this whole rant about slutty cheerleaders and terrorism, but then I realized I have a very short attention span and, while I can write rants, I’m not much for reading them. But, if I write a rant, I have to read it for proofreading purposes.
“YOU PROOFREAD!” at least one of you just screamed (again, apologies to those around the people reading this – who, inevitably aren’t reading this apology).
Yes, I do in fact proofread, though, proofreading something right after you write it inevitability leaves many mistakes still in the text. But, you should see these things before the proofreading; you’d have trouble figuring what language it was written in.
Get to the slutty cheerleaders!
Sorry for the tangents. Anyhoo, I settled on doing an FAQ which works better for my generation’s affliction of ADD.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT SLUTTY CHEERLEADERS AND TERRORISM
RWD’s News Round Up, Thursday
Hi gang,
This is RightWingDuck and I’m here to share the news.
I’m sorry I missed yesterday’s roundup. I was.. um. Um.
Kidnapped by an Hispanic and a white lady.
Jennifer Wilbanks is still in the news. You know, sometimes you get tired of the joke writing, and along comes Jennifer and you find your second wind.
The Hispanic community is upset that Jennifer thought to blame them for her abduction. She owes them an apology. And the police, and the rescue workers, and the volunteers, and the people who donated products and services to the volunteers, and her guests. .and..
You know what? It’s a sad day when the only person NOT clamoring for an apology is Al Sharpton.
And the fiancée.
Yes, the fiancée still wants to have the wedding. Or as he calls it “Best two out of three.”
I’m not saying the guests are distrustful. But I believe it will be the first time they run the bride to the altar on a rail.
It’s very sweet. The minister is trying to accomodate the emotional needs of the bride.
We are gathered today to join this man and woman in holy matrimony. The exits are located to their side and to the rear–Next bus leaves in 10 minutes.