Hello Everyone,
I’m RightWingDuck and I’m here to share the news.
Guess what? Los Angeles has a new mayor. It’s Antonio Villaraigosa, the first Latino we’ve had running the city in over a century.
He beat the incumbent Mayor – Mayor Hahn, by being able to connect with the minorities here in LA. Or as we call them — White People.
Not much of a choice. We had a liberal Incumbent versus a liberal challenger.
Personally, I’ve never voted Democrat, but maybe one day before I die — I will. Or in the Dems case, maybe I will AFTER I die.
The race got a bit hot at the end. Accusations, attack ads. I felt Mayor Hahn went over the line when he tried to have Villaraigosa deported.
LA has to get used to a Latino running things. At the celebration dinner, it took Antonio too long to get up the podium. Latinos and whites kept stopping him.
Latino: Excuse me, sir?
Mayor V: Yes?
Latino: I’m very proud. I’d like to shake your hand.
Mayor V: Sure thing.
Lady: Excuse me, sir?
Mayor V: Yes, ma’am?
Lady: I can’t find my waitress; can you get me some ice water?
Archive of entries posted on 18th May 2005
America’s New China Policy
(A Precision Guided Humor Assignment)
Communist China hasn’t been a very good friend to us lately, what with their not helping us keep North Korea in line, blocking Security Council Appointments in the UN, and declaring war on innocent bloggers, so it’s time for America to re-evaluate the relationship.
But before any firm policy decisions are made, it’s necessary to understand who we’re dealing with. To that end, I’ve assigned a Newsweek reporter to gather all the information he could about this inscrutable nation. Based on his report, I present (in the extended entry) these
Frank J. Imposter!
There is another Frank J. out there using the line “Know Thy Enemy.” Know that this is not the real Frank J. and nowhere as near as funny and smart as I, the real Frank J.
Sick for one day and everyone is out to replace you…
(Thanks to Phat Tony for pointing this out)
Carnival of Comedy Submissions Are Due
It’s almost Carnival of Comedy time again.
No!
Yes!
No, really?!
Yes, really!
Wow, it’s like we live in some sort of magical fantasy world where a bunch of funny arrives every Thurdsay
I KNOW! I can just barely believe it either.
Well, the simple fact that it wasn’t reported on CBS or in Newsweek makes it more believable.
Can’t argue with that.
Click here to help spread the funny.
Yes enter!
Won’t you do what the nice voice says? I always do.
Next Week in Newsweek
War Could Have Been Avoided
While Bush rushed into bombing and killing, it is now revealed that all the terrorists could have been defeated if they were just given hugs and not violence. In the end, the military action further ruined…
Source: Unnamed Al Queada Member
Bush Actually Received Zero Percent of the Vote
New evidence showed that all voting machines in the U.S. were rigged, and, in reality, not one person actually voted for President Bush. John Kerry responded to this stunning news by pointing out how he served in Vietnam. Further fraud…
Source: Unnamed Partisan Democrat
Bush Desecrates Vatican
Following his personal request to flush the Koran down the toilet to torture Guantanamo Bay inmates, Bush has now further shown his disdain for other religions by vandalizing the Vatican. Spray painting the word balloon “Pull my finger” on God was only the first of his…
Source: Unnamed Priest-Looking Person
World Actually Flat
Despite popular beliefs for the past couple centuries, it is now certain that the world is flat, scientists say. By using new measurements involving a rock tied to a stick…
Source: Unnamed Possible Scientist
Bat Boy Found in Cave
SHOCKER: Half boy/half bat found in cave. Exclusive pictures inside!
Source: Unnamed Hillbilly