War Could Have Been Avoided
While Bush rushed into bombing and killing, it is now revealed that all the terrorists could have been defeated if they were just given hugs and not violence. In the end, the military action further ruined…
Source: Unnamed Al Queada Member
Bush Actually Received Zero Percent of the Vote
New evidence showed that all voting machines in the U.S. were rigged, and, in reality, not one person actually voted for President Bush. John Kerry responded to this stunning news by pointing out how he served in Vietnam. Further fraud…
Source: Unnamed Partisan Democrat
Bush Desecrates Vatican
Following his personal request to flush the Koran down the toilet to torture Guantanamo Bay inmates, Bush has now further shown his disdain for other religions by vandalizing the Vatican. Spray painting the word balloon “Pull my finger” on God was only the first of his…
Source: Unnamed Priest-Looking Person
World Actually Flat
Despite popular beliefs for the past couple centuries, it is now certain that the world is flat, scientists say. By using new measurements involving a rock tied to a stick…
Source: Unnamed Possible Scientist
Bat Boy Found in Cave
SHOCKER: Half boy/half bat found in cave. Exclusive pictures inside!
Source: Unnamed Hillbilly
Feeling better?
The sad part is, this could happen
France Never Really Lost Any War
It has been determined by leading European historians that France actually won every war that it was ever involved in. Several scholars point to the fact that the average French citizen believes this to be true, even though no one west of the Atlantic could stop laughing long enough to answer the question…
Source: Several unnamed Euro-scholar types
Michael Moore found to be conservative, talks to Jesus daily.
Ann Coulter is a lib socialist, sacrafices baby bunnies to Satan.
Source: Not Karl Rove
Plea Deal,
Good job; actually thought of that one just as I posted.
Balance to the Force a Good Thing
New studies show that it could be healthy for a Force-sensitive person to balance their peaceful, just, loving Light Side with a little hate, anger, and suffering from the Dark Side.
Source: Unnamed dark-suited cyborg
I agree with that cyborg, sorta.
Wait, I got a question:
I’m sitting here in class wearing my light saber on my belt, yet I have a t-shirt emblazened with the Imperial Standard and the words “Imperial Domination” (no, Harvey, it’s not sexual). Does this make me a Sith or a rogue Jedi? (Besides a nerd or a geek, of course).
The Whole World is a Fraud
It turns out everyone and everything including NewsWeek is a figment of a 12 year old boys imagination–
Source: Freud look-a-like contest winner
Frank, you’ve just stumbled onto yet another IMAO exclusive:
Weekly World News controls the MSM!
Time, Newsweak, & NY Times all have a front page picture of alien Godzilla giving birth to Elvis at the White House! And Elvis is flushing the Koran down the toilet!
…Spray painting the word balloon “Pull my finger” on God was only the first of his…
I think you’ve just explained the “Big Bang” theory Frank.
Million Person “Enough-is-Enough” Protest
Frank, Please organize everyone rushing out to Home Depot for a toilet, Wal-Mart for a Koran and a Newsweek, then we all meet in DC for a “Flushing Out” of the Islamofascists and MSM at the same time…
Scientist that invented car that runs on daydreams and starlight found murdered in his bed
The leading scientist that developed the miracle car has been found dead in his office today. It was later found that the oil companies had him executed for trying to steal their profits. In a related development the oil companies have also been seeding our clouds with nanite technology controlling our minds making us want to purchase SUVs and invade Iraq. Karl Rove, the Trilateral Commision and the Time Cube are also involved. Developing…
Source: Average liberal person
War Could Have Been Avoided – VIDEO PROOF
Diplomacy. If only it had been given the chance.
NOTE on Video Proof.
If at work, use headphones for the sound. A NFSW exclamation from Osama near the end, though you could probably see it coming in time to mute.
I’m going to start referring to newsweak as “The Paper.” Then I’m going on the Garth Brooks Juice diet.
jonag, LOL.