Carnival Of Comedy Five

I was thinking about this weeks Carnival of Comedy (heh) and I thought ‘should I go through the effort to make a quasi-humorous lead-in for the fifth Carnival of Comedy? [ed note: There are actually somtimes html links in my thoughts] Or should I just let the funny speak for itself?”

After thinking about this for a while, I decided to let the funny speak for itself.

Then I decided that just a bunch of links would make me look stupid and lazy. Not wanting to look stupid and lazy any more than I already do, I decided to do what I’ve done here that you are now finished reading.

This Weeks Carnival of Comedy.

hatless in hattiesburg at hatless in hattiesburg presents Pop Culture Revisionism, Pt.1

Jason Pomerantz at Fiddle and Burn: A Daily Comic Strip in Prose presents The Can

The Evil Emperor Mindstation at Point Five presents Conservatives Develop Deadly Pie Throwing Techniques

Jess at Life…or something like it presents A LOSLI interview with Will of Will’s 4223 [L]

Kim Chong-il at Beloved Leader presents I Cannot Wait

Citizen Grim at Right Hand of God presents Hillary Clinton: Queen of Blades?

Korgmeister at Bullet Holed Messenger presents Photo Essay: [Bleep] Dirty Hippies at the VSU Protest [L]

Kid Various at The Idiom presents Overheard [L]

Doc Rampage at Doc Rampage presents French Movies

Will Franklin at WILLisms.com presents Joshua Fleming, Commenting Coward.

Dean (not my real name) at Stop The Neocon Death Machine presents Why Stop The Neocons

Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face presents Newsweek Article Spurs Wave Of “Islamo-rappers”

John Hatch at Ideas Hatched presents love advice from hip-hop greats

chaika at chaikaroma presents New Food Pyramid

Jim McCarthy at Letter From California presents Come to the Dark Side…of the Sidewalk

Equuschick at The Common Room presents Equuschick and the Boy

Rory at What not to do in Asia presents Massacre on a bathroom floor. [L]

Josh Cohen at Multiple Mentality presents Not what I expected

Ferdinand T. Cat at Conservative Cat presents Cheerleaders

Mad House Madman at Chronicles of a Medical Mad House presents What an [bleep]hole [L]

Kelly at Time to Lean presents Actual places my demented patients wanted to go tonight

Chad Hamilton at PlaidBerry presents Bumper Sticker Ideology II

El Capitan at Baboon Pirates presents Ewww. This Is Just Some Funky [Bleeeipe].

Laura (IMAO Regular and prank afficianado) presents Great Droid

ManiaC Provost at Ether Mind presents The Adventures of Johnny American – Saison Finale

Dana at Northshore Politics presents What McCain was really thinking

David at third world county presents Secure Our Borders?

Tommy at Striving for Average presents My Conversation with a Best Buy Sales Rep

Yarbz (Cris) at Juggernuts presents My PhotoShop Humor [L, Some NSFW]

jimmyb at The Conservative UAW Guy presents Sic em’ (Communist China)

Jody at Steal the Bandwagon presents Think Sink Exposed!

armywifetoddlermom at ArmyWifeToddlerMom presents pink ninja training camp lesson 234

The confusing alert levels put into plain American.

Frank J. at IMAO presents A Frank Guide to Homeland Security Alert Levels

Hoodlumman at File it Under presents Forecasting Politics

Loren Kohl at Almanac of the Mundane presents New Humor Page

Kim at Ramble Strip presents Tom Cruise is on Oafra. And he loves Katie Holmes. No really, he DOES.

Bill C at Brain Droppings presents The Galloway Lecture Series

Bill C at The Daily Cause presents Wilbanks Indicted

Pete at The Daily Cause presents The Blog Name Change

Senator Walters at The Stall Street Journal presents The Walters World Factbook Guide to: Romania

Falco Jugger at JuggerBlog presents How Well Do You Know Your American Anthropormorphisms?

Patriot Xeno at Right Hand of God presents Dealing with Newsweek

Two Dogs at Mean Ol’ Meany presents Economics 101-The Two Dogs Way (Continued)

That does it for this week. Thanks for playing, reading, linking and laughing.

Compliments on the carnival are welcome in the comments.

Suggestions for making the Carnival better and recommendations for where to stick/shove/[bleep] the Carnival are welcome at spacemonkey.you.suck@gmail.com.

Next week’s Carnival of Comedy will be here again. Yay!

Questions on joining are answered here.

Be Afraid, Be Moderately Afraid

The Gang of Fourteen – shall the republic fall because of their arrogance and foolishness?
There are those out there who want to overthrow our government and our country. They want to destroy everything we have, take everything we own. All our progress will collapse to ruins if they have their way.
And then they shall replace it all with something pretty much the same.
This danger is the moderate extremists. They are a growing force in politics and why the fourteen came together. The fourteen wished to appease these moderates out of fear of the violence the moderate extremists may or may not use based on whether some sort of consensus can be reached. They have fourteen of our senators in their grasp now, and may soon have more. With enough power, they’ll turn America into some sort of moderacracy, and then we’ll all be doomed… or, at least, bored.
The moderates are the pawns of Satan. They march over all the traditions we have, and, if any oppose them, they’ll take his views into consideration along with all others. They cannot be reasoned with – or they can be reasoned with too much. They are vicious, ruthless, backstabbing, and extremely boring to read about unless lots of hyperbole is used. And they love hyperbole, as it scares people to the mushy middle from which they draw their unholy powers.
These fiends – these moderates – are everywhere. But how can you identify them? They use phrases such as, “I think both sides have valid points here,” “Let’s consider all viewpoints,” and, “Perhaps by reaching a compromise, we can end all this arguing.”
What to do if you find a moderate? Notify the FBI, and, whatever you do, don’t back up from your extreme viewpoints when confronted by one. What moderates desire is to be liked by everyone, but you must hate them. It’s hard, because they seem boring and innocuous, but you must hate them with every fiber of your being. Also, hit them with sticks. While being angry, they may somewhat agree they should be hit with sticks just to confuse you, but don’t fall for it. We must chase all these moderates with their stick-beaten faces out of regular society and leave America to the extremists as God intended.
If it leads to open civil war, the war is what they’ll get. And, as the moderates charge with their battle cry of, “There’s still time to compromise!” be steadfast and not let fear take hold of you. The future lies with us, the extremists, and all the mainstream exists for is to wash away the weak.
Be honorable, ronin – honorable to the extreme!

What Caliber Is Best to Take Down a Documentary Film Maker?

During the concealed carry class I took with SarahK, we were told the lethal force is allowed to prevent a forcible felony, and that treason counts as a forcible felony. So does that mean if Michael Moore comes to Florida and tries to play one of his movies, I can shoot him?
Also, when the new law comes into effect Oct 1st here in Florida, if someone breaks into my house, sees me with my gun and raises his hands and yells, “Don’t shoot!” I can execute him right then and there and the law can’t touch me.
Frank says: “Just because you are legally able to shoot someone, doesn’t mean its right. If, after consulting with a lawyer, you are able to determine you can legally shoot Michael Moore, just blast his kneecaps because that is funnier.”

Zarqawi Signs Form 180 – Releases Military Records

At an awards ceremony in Baghdad today, wounded terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi accepted his third Purple Heart from Al Qaeda and announced that had signed form 180, releasing his military records for public inspection.
“Unlike certain American infidel politicians, I have nothing to hide from my people,” said Zarqawi, “except perhaps the occasional roadside explosive device.”
Iraqi’s new President, however, was dubious. “I question the timing of this,” said Iraqi President Jalal Talabani. “He could have just as easily released his records during the invasion and quelled the rumors that the wound which earned him his second Purple Heart was sustained while attempting to mate with a goat.”
Zarqawi insisted that he earned the disputed Purple Heart in the line of duty. “I did NOT have sexual relations with that goat, Fatima!” said Zarqawi. “I was merely trying to subdue an American spy for the glory of Allah!”
“Besides,” added Zarqawi, “it was purely consensual! You can ask Osama! He was there!”
Zarqawi’s Commander-in-Chief, Osama Bin Laden, could not be reached for comment as he is presently in hiding, cleverly disguised as a bloody stain on the walls of a Tora Bora cave.