The North Koreans keep resisting six-party talks. There must be some way to get Kim Jong Il to agree to them. I thought of a number of ideas myself, and they just happened to be ten in number so…
THE TOP TEN WAYS TO GET NORTH KOREA TO RESUME TALKS
10. Have Bush stop referring to Kim Jong Il as “Poofy Goofy.”
9. Have talks in Korean instead of the customary ancient Aramaic.
8. Make sure there is free pizza, because I know from experience at college that conferences are more likely to have people show up if there is free pizza.
7. Advertise event as “Disarmament Talks and Karaoke Contest.”
6. Chain Donald Rumsfeld to a radiator to lessen the chance of him fulfilling his vow that he’ll “squeeze the neck of the poofy-haired one until he is dead.”
5. Have the Japanese bring to the talks some of those overly violent, porn-filled cartoons they’re so famous for. Everyone loves those.
4. Special deal this time only – make three concessions, get one free!
3. Have some people there for Kim Jong Il to oppress (maybe some Democrats from Congress) so he’ll feel more at home.
2. Promise Kim Jong Il that we won’t invade his country while he’s temporarily away.
And the number one way to get North Korea to resume talks–
All attendees get a lifetime supply of hair gel!
Poofy Goofy
genius, Frank, genius.
(first!)
“poofy goofy” is berry ronrey!!!!
Suggstion: Have Condi kick President Bush every time he makes a “Team America” refrence at the confrence.
What about slutty cheerleaders? Would that help? I know that if a party had slutty cheerleaders and pizza, I would be there.
Perhaps we should also refrain from reminding him that Kim is a girl’s name.
:}
I think George should stop saying things like “Stand Up – heh heh sorry, you are standing up” and “The Plane, The Plane” and “Is that wig the same one Pedro wore in Napoleon Dynamite?”…Laura needs to curb his speech again.
Always thought he was “Bouffant Hitler”, not “Poofy Goofy”. Have also heard him called King Jong Fine, the Asian cousin Stooge.