I’m not sure how familiar most of you are with Scientology. In college, I had a lecture in my Information Warfare class all about how Scientologists have made efforts to fight criticism and keep certain information from being made public. Anyhoo, just as something of interest, here’s the Wikipedia entry for Xenu (as much as I want to hate Wikipedia, the entries in it tend to be thorough and unbiased).
What I find most interesting about Xenu is the message at the bottom of the page when you do a Google search for it. Know of any other search term that yields a similar message?
Archive of entries posted on 30th June 2005
C’mon People!
If you actually can’t tell who did the carnival of comedy this week, you haven’t been paying very much attention.
I’ll give some hints.
Hint#1: It was NOT ME.
Hint#2: Check out other posts on the front page for the same name.
But whoever did do it did a great job. Better than I usually do, that’s for [bleep] sure.
Another hint is below the fold
Continue reading ‘C’mon People!’ »
Question of the Day
John Hawkins published his list of favorite blogs, and I rank highly but behind (Damn you) Scrappleface. Out of curiosity, what are your favorite blogs?
BTW, Hawkins also has an interview with Mark Steyn.
Frank Advice on Gitmo Detainees
Now I’m hearing the prisoners at Gitmo are abusing the guards with monkey like feces flinging and constant violent threats. I even have heard from an unnamed source that some prisoners are taking the guards’ Bibles, touching them with their infidel hands, and flushing them (you know, the flushable sized Bibles the Gideons hand out that only has the New Testament). Some prisoners have even stolen guard food supplies, forcing the guards to not eat pork. Not consuming pork is a special blaspheme in the Christian religion and could lead to much duress.
Now, I know you Christian reading this are quite enraged and ready to riot and kill each other, but let’s approach this calmly. Let’s ask ourselves, “What would Jesus do?”
A. Kill the unbelievers.
B. Body slam a detainee into a folding table.
C. Freak out and knock over tables.
D. Something involving peace and love.
E. C followed by D.
According to the Bible, it’s either D or E. Of course, I’m not Jesus and fall quite short of Him, but I have a few suggestions of my own.
FRANK ADVICE ON DEALING WITH UNRULY GITMO DETAINEES
Continue reading ‘Frank Advice on Gitmo Detainees’ »
The Carnival of Comedy!
Greetings imao.us readers! Since Dreamworks canceled my War of the Worlds press tour because many have come to believe I am mentally unbalanced, I’ve been promoting my movie through the non-traditional media. In that vein, I am auditing this weeks Carnival of Comedy! So sit back, grab your e-meter, and let’s have some non-pharmaceutically-based fun!
I’ve run my e-meter on this first batch of links, and these submitters have truly reached the advanced Operating Thetan stage of Bridge consciousness. These OTs have exteriorstated their body thetans and have liberated their souls from the evil extraterrestrial tyrant Xenu.
Patriot Xeno at Right Hand of God presents an amusing exchange similar to one I recently had with Nicole Kidman at Irrational Beings
The Raving Atheist at The Raving Atheist presents a thought provoking NSFW discussion of recent Supreme Court rulings at Supreme Court Split on Display of the Two T*ts
Joe Pehoski at Joe’s blog delves into the non-thetan animal kingdom at Totally True Llama Facts
Jim McCarthy at Movies I Didn’t See reviews a movie my fiancé Kelly loves, but he hasn’t seen (which is possible once one achieves an Operating Thetan stage of consciousness) at Review of “Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants”
Laurence Simon at This Blog Is Full Of Crap presents an interesting nautically themed post that makes me long for my Sea Org days with L. Ron Hubbard at Prison Ships
Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face presents some poems that make my dyslexic head ache at Sir Richard of Durbin: A Dr. Seuss From Beyond The Grave Tale
Finally, Damian G. at Conservathink presents an examination of Xenu’s heir’s head gear at Pimp my Pope mobile
For the first time, you get the chance to vote for whichever of the above bloggers you think brought “teh funny” this week. There can only be one winner, so chose wisely!
UPDATE: This weeks winner will get the privilege of displaying a special graphic on their blog (if they so choose) and will also win this valuable prize.
And now for the rest . . .
My e-meter tells me that this next group of submitters have reached the Clear state of consciousness. Although they have at least a couple hundred thousand dollars in auditing and clay tabling left to reach the heightened sense of consciousness achieved by intellectuals like me, they are well on their way to operating as pure disembodied souls.
Mr. Right at The Right Place presents You Just Might Be a Moonbat…
a4g at Point Five presents Military Says Flag Burning High on List of “What We Fight For”
The Evil Emperor Mindstation at Point Five presents NASA to Blow Up Comet “Just Because”
Steve the Pirate at Steve the Pirate[net] presents Karl Rove Deemed to be Dark Lord of the Sith
Ironman at Political Calculations presents The Equation
Dana at Northshore Politics presents It doesn’t snow in Alaska!
Dr. Phat Tony at Dr. Phat Tony’s presents Hippies Gone Wild
James Wigderson at Wigderson Library and Pub presents I feel a lot better
Pete at The Daily Cause presents Gay Fuel
alsocanadian at IAM(also)CANADIAN presents Shocking New Saddam Prison Photos!
The MaryHunter at TMH’s Bacon Bits presents USA to SCOTUS: Be Careful What You Wish For
GEBIV at There’s One, Only! presents PGHA: Where to put the terrorists?
Two Dogs at Mean Ol’ Meany presents Obligatory Beer-Thirty Update and gets bonus points for spelling “y’all” correctly.
Dr. Phat Tony at Dr. Phat Tony’s presents The Minority Report
Pluto’s Dad at Eyes On The Ball News presents Bolton To Use Eminent Domain to Seize UN Building
Steve the Pirate at Steve the Pirate[net] presents Battle Royale II: Karl Rove vs. Emperor Palpatine
David at satire presents Wal-Mart Demolishes the Supreme Court To Build A New Supreme Super Center (note NSFW sidebar)
John Hatch at Ideas Hatched presents Rape
Damian G. at Conservathink presents Ode to a troll
And now the rest of the rest . . .
I had trouble auditing this last group of submissions using my e-meter, so I moved over to the clay table. Here is a photo of what I came up with . . .
These Pre-Clears need to spend some time on remedial TRs in the Rehabilitation Project Force. Perhaps they need to throw their antidepressants into the trash and realize that true enlightenment and freedom from the Marcab Confederacy can only be obtained through Scientology’s Spiritual Technology.
Beth at MY Vast Right Wing Conspiracy among other things, takes an unjustified shot at me at New Hair Removal Technique
Will Franklin at WILLisms.com presents some art that will cause me to spend many hours in deep contemplation at the clay table with Drew Curtis at Creative Taxidermy.
Big Picture Guy at Big Picture, Small Office presents Critical Mass, which this post never quite obtains
Tommy at Striving for Average presents Sweet Hot Bug Love, a Freudian trip into the heart of darkness
John at Locusts & Honey presents The Downing Street Memo — John has a link to something quite funny, but he gets mega demerits for putting it in a .doc file!
Dan Melson at Searchlight Crusade makes my brain ache at Lord of the (Blog) Rings
Well, it’s been fun. Now, clear out your checking and savings accounts, cash in your 401(k)s, get those credit card checks, and head down to your nearest Scientology center so you can be as smart as me!
UPDATE: Pluto’s Dad at Eyes On The Ball News gives me some free PR — we’ll be sending a couple guys over later for some five-finger auditing Tom Cruise Clinic For Wellness Opens