As everyone knows, the occasion of my birthday is Saturday on which I will become an age twice a prime number – something that won’t happen again for eight more years (MATH QUESTION: Does that leave a finite possibility for my age, or are there an infinite number of answers – disregarding what is considered to be a normal human life span and the best guess at the age of the universe). Since I won’t be posting Saturday, my birthday will be celebrated on my blog tomorrow. Be prepared to heap praise upon me (plus I have a special surprise).
We are all busy at work at the next podcast, and expect it to be posted Monday. Then, expect a podcast every Monday. Soon, Monday will be your most favoritest day of the week.
Until then, live with honor, ronin.
Archive of entries posted on 2nd June 2005
Gotta Gitmo Respect
Amnesty International, apparently not finding any innocent people being oppressed worth complaining about, called the terrorist holding facility at Guantanamo Bay a “gulag.” This angered both Cheney and Rumsfeld who met with Amnesty International personally to express their disagreement.
There were no survivors.
Though both Guantanamo and gulag start with a ‘g’, there are in fact numerous differences between the Soviet prison camps and our detention of terrorists. Actually, there are apparently ten differences, so…
THE TOP TEN DIFFERENCES BETWEEN GITMO AND A GULAG
10. Beatings at Gitmo are done as felt necessary, instead of following strict Soviet beating schedule.
9. Fancy new Korans for all Gitmo detainees, while nearly no free Korans under Stalin.
8. Gulag inmates were exploited to help the Soviet economy, while we can’t even get wallets out of Gitmo detainees.
7. Gulag’s had a high fatality rate, while Gitmo detainees don’t die until we’re done with them.
6. Sibera was not a hot spot for Canadian tourists.
5. Gitmo detainees are allowed to pray towards Mecca five times a day, while Gulag inmates were forced to bow down towards Stalin’s mustache five times a day.
4. Many people were placed in gulag’s simply for their political views, while many were put in Gitmo because they wouldn’t stop shooting at us, gosh darnit.
3. Gulag is an abbreviation for Russian for “The Chief Directorate of Corrective Labor Camps” while Guantanamo is simply Spanish for “hell-hole.”
2. While neither the inmates of the gulag or the Gitmo detainees bathe, the Gitmo detainees do have the option.
And the number one difference between Gitmo and a gulag…
Continue reading ‘Gotta Gitmo Respect’ »
Carnival of Comedy #6
Whoa. Dudes. It’s like so totally a comedy carnival.
I’m your host. RightWingDuck. I’m so excited, look at all these exclamation points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Man. I’ve been laughing so long, I wet my pants! Actually, I wet my pants and THEN started laughing. That’s how funny I know you guys are.
Hold on.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There – had to get it out of my system.
Anyway.
Today is the 6th Carnival of Comedy. So, be careful and practice safe sixth. rimshot
We had a lot of great entries. BTW, I made a goof on some of the cutting and pasting, but I think I have them all. Anyway, if you don’t see your entry here this week, feel free to resubmit it for Carnvial # 7. This way we keep you guys coming back for more!!
Okay. Let’s move on with the show.
Do you know why you shouldn’t eat pizza and pickles before bedtime?
Hatless in Hattiesburg at Hatless in Hattiesburg presents Funny ER Dream
Hmmm. Pepsi. The other white meat.
a4g at Point Five presents Muslims Allege Pepsi Contains Pig Parts
Um. I debated adding this one. Patriot gets a warning, but at least he’s looking out for #1.
Patriot Xeno at Right Hand of God presents ‘The Little Things’ That Are Awesome: First Leak in the Morning
Apprenticeship?
Ironman at Political Calculations presents The Next “The Apprentice”
Do you want to know why you should take your prescription medication?
Jason Pomerantz at Fiddle and Burn: A Daily Comic Strip in Prose presents The Frog Vice-President
What makes Paris so darn special?
Ken O’Banion at JAFO presents The Last Time I Saw Paris…
What’s better than Campfire stories?
muse at me-ander presents Israelie Campfires and My Girl Scout Badge
How about a tea party?
Peemil at Where are my socks? presents If Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld were pompous 19th Century English gentlemen having a tea party.
Language lessons. Cool.
boborr4 at either orr presents brenda’s english-french dictionary
I almost cut Mr. Potty Mouth Ellison, but then I noticed that the Mistress of Sarcasm was really cute…
Elisson at Blog d’Elisson presents CLIMBING THE WALLS
Secret Michael Jackson evidence?
Buckley F. Williams at The Nose On Your Face presents Jury Sees Jacko “To Do” List
TJ. This one almost didn’t make the cut. Gross. Heee hee. Funny. But gross…
tj at Zazzafooky presents I Shit You Not
I love it when people are bitter…
Jim McCarthy at Letter From California presents Stone Cold Stupid
Every wonder what a cyborg really thinks?
Mark A. Rayner at The Skwib presents A sarcastic cyborg debriefs
Hippies are stupid. Heh heh.
Chad Hamilton at PlaidBerry presents Bumper Sticker Ideology III
Mad House Madman at Chronicles of a Medical Mad House presents Cold
Hmmm. What are the odds…
Editor at Editors in Pajamas presents Today’s vocabularly lesson
Um. Er. Um. Uh. Sigh. Groan…
Tommy at Striving for Average presents Palm Trees
Mr. Right – get’s it right. And funny…
Mr. Right at The Right Place presents Selections from the “Donktionary”
This is a (first) good (FIRST) link to read (FIRST!!) at JimmyB’s place (FIRST!!)
jimmyb at The Conservative UAW Guy presents Mee-Oww FIRST!!
Here’s another great vocabulary lesson!
Bill C at The Daily Cause presents Donktionary
Simon P. Chappell at Upright and Breathing presents The art of bathing very small children
Funny, that’s the name of Michael Jackson’s next album!!
phin at phin’s blog presents A new breed of blogger
Making fun of Paris Hilton is always cool.
Kim at Ramble Strip presents Paris Hilton, in list form
Indeed (Ducky’s running out of funny intros)
Elyas at Ablogistan presents The Adventures of Acinom
Cool!!
Will Franklin at WILLisms.com presents Wednesday Caption Contest: Part 8.
Er. Um. Here…
John Hatch at Ideas Hatched presents
Buh…
Someone who may or may not be Jayson Blaire at Huffington’s Toast presents Ward “Lobachevsky” Churchill
I love a good military story. Uncle Jimbo at Military Matters with Uncle Jimbo presents Spanky & the Shark
And in closing – What’s funnier than Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog doing geek jokes– nothing!
JMK at presents Triumph @ Attack of the Clones
That’s it for this week’s Carnival of Comedy!!
!!!