(A Filthy Lie)
So I’m paging through Instapundit recently, and I see a picture of him eating “strawberry pie“.
And I’m thinking to myself… wait… pie isn’t part of Evil Glenn’s regular diet
So I gave the picture a thorough checking out and noticed that he’d photoshopped it a bit. Without his editing, it looks like this:
Which just looks… odd.
So I zoomed in, cleaned it up, and here’s a tight shot of that pie (in the extended entry)…
Continue reading ‘What IS Glenn Reynolds Eating?’ »
In light of his birthday and his prompting I have composed a Top 10 list of almost useless GREAT things that I’ve learned about Frank J.
10. Frank J. likes to release a t-shirt on every noteworthy occasion. Case in point, the “Know Thy Enemy: Inlaws” Pocket T that he plans to wear at his wedding so he can promote it using the wedding photos.
9 Frank owns, and uses guns for defense but prefers the ‘personal touch’ of an edged or blunt weapon for making attacks on his enemies. An elegant weapon from a more civilized time or something to that effect, plus a beat down takes a longer to apply than a simple shooting.
8. Frank J. has pants legs sewn onto some of his sleeves, so he can keep a katana or a long stick concealed. He says these are not ‘in case of attack’ rather they are ‘in case I attack’.
7 Frank J. was frightened by something smelly, hairy, stupid and dirty when he was just a little ronin. He isn’t sure if it was a Frenchman, a hippy or a monkey so… he’s devoted his life to eradicating all three.
6. Frank J. loves the smell of napalm – any time of day, not just in the morning. But he says it smells like money, which smells better than victory any day of the week.
5. When Frank J. is about to attack, he gets this eerily calm look about him and then he softly utters the word ‘pancakes.’
4. Frank J. doesn’t fear change, he embraces it. In fact he does this funny little dance/song while he embraces it whenever he finds some.
3. Frank J.’s idea of supporting multicutural diversity means mercilessly beating foreigners with a stick which was grown in their home country. He always asks and if he doesn’t have the appropriate stick up his large sleeves, he’ll calmly get their contact information and put them on his ‘To Beat’ list, till he has the stick and can beat them in a proper multicuturally diverse and supportive manner.
2. Frank J. has a large and growing collection of imported sticks.
And the number one almost useless GREAT thing that I’ve learned about Frank J…
Continue reading ‘Top 10 Almost Useless GREAT Things That I’ve Learned About Frank J.’ »
It has come to my attention that getting married is expensive. Since some readers have asked where SarahK and I are registered, I’m instead putting up this PayPal link so you can send us a cash wedding gift and help us start our new life with not so much debt.
Now, we’re not poor or anything or about to go bankrupt, so only think of this as a gift if you like me and SarahK (or just one of us).
Thank you. If it weren’t for my readers’ support, I never would have met my lovely SarahK.
As you may know by now, blogs will possibly face FEC regulations. If you want my opinion on that, I think…
POST CENSORED BY FEC
Hi, I’m your local FEC rep, and there has been a lot of fear of the FEC strong-arming blogs. To allay those fears, I have erased the misinformation this blogger was about to post and taken over his site. Frank J. is currently getting a personal education on the new rules about blogging. Also, I would like to say that he had many bruises from cudgel blows before he came here, and he is lying if he says otherwise.
As for all you, you can read this post to find the new rules. What we simply want from bloggers is disclosure. This adds to free speech, because, not only do you get the blogger’s normal free speech, but you also get mandatory speech about his funding you wouldn’t get otherwise. See? FEC regulation means even more speech!
Also, to help ensure blogs are not subversive agents using their political influence to get around campaign finance laws, we will recommend that this humor blog stick to topics that aren’t political. One example would be to have jokes like:
Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the other side.
Now that’s funny and has no political implications – as long as no specific government funded road is mentioned.
Then again, the chicken could be symbolic of some political figure, something we, the FEC, will keep a shrewd eye for.
Come to think of it, the safest thing is to not post at all. This brings the least probability of FEC agents breaking into your house at night and murdering your family for breaking campaign finance laws.
It is the position of the FEC that free speech is a sacred thing, and, like most sacred things, it should be locked away somewhere secure and not worn out from use.
We now return Frank J. to blog within the guidelines given to him.
Uh, hey, it’s Frank J. again. I would just like to say how much IMAO loves and supports the FEC. Yay, FEC.
I’m going to go lie down now.
An Ode to Frank J
By RightWingDuck
Because Frank told him to write it…
An Ode To Frank J On His Birthday…
What’s makes Frank J. so great?
Some say humor. Some say hate.
He met Sarah, and got a date
He’s twenty six, that’s not too late.
What else do I like about IMAO?
So many things, you know?
Hate filled lefty, butt so whupped
United Nations funny quips
Know thy Enemies, there are so many
Buy his t-shirts he needs money!
Let’s not forget the In My World
I’m sure you’ll cry, you’ll laugh, you’ll hurl.
What makes Frankie J so fun?
It helps that he “ain’t getting none”
He keeps his focus and makes the funny
cranks out jokes, and makes some money
He keeps his viewpoints finely tuned
Wants Michael Moore dead, or harpooned
Wants Howard Dean to keep on talking
Wants John McCain to keep on walking
Needs more words from John F. Kerry
Wants more laws on concealed carry
In short.
You’ll laugh until your body hurts
please remember
buy his shirts.
Thank You.
Happy Birthday Frank J.
Well, I actually turn 26 tomorrow, but you can celebrate my birthday today! First, everyone post in the comments section here about how great I am, and I order all the other IMAO bloggers to write a post about my greatness.
Later, there will be an unveiling of a special surprise! Hooray!
