Trapped Miners

I can’t watch the coverage of these trapped (and probably dead) miners in West Virginia.
I swear, at any moment, John Rhys Davies is going to be interviewed based on his years of experience as a Tolkein Dwarf in the Lord Of The Rings trilogy of movies.
GRETA VON SUSTEREN: “I guess we’ve been cut off somehow in our connection to the Undersecretary Deputy Assistant of the Department of Environmental Affairs for the State of West Virginia. We’ll let you know when we get our connection back to the James Byrd Center For Environmental Affairs there in West Virginia, but… I think we’ve got another expert lined up that may have some additional insight into this situation… it’s John Rhys-Davies of the Academy Award-winning Lord Of The Rings trilogy of movies. Thank you for being here, John, and I must say you’re bigger than you were in the film.”
JR-D: (laughs) “Thank you for having me here. And my axe.”
GRETA VON SUSTEREN: (chuckles) “So how do you see the situation unfolding there in West Virginia?”
JR-D: “Well, if I may quote Saruman the White… ‘Moria… You fear to go into those mines. The dwarves delved too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness of Khazad-dum… shadow and flame.'”
GRETA VON SUSTEREN: “Are you saying that these thirteen miners somehow dug their way into some kind of aternate, fantasy realm and found a Balrog’s creche?”
JR-D: “I’m saying exactly that, Greta. After my many years as a dwarf in the hills of New Zealand, I’m well aware of the dangers of digging too deeply into things.”

Or something like that.
This is why we watch Law And Order and Friends reruns in the evenings. The evenings “news” shows are more like a backlash against “Reality” television, spewing forth Anti-Reality insanity.

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